(no subject)
sometimes, when I wake up in the mornings, things cannot be clean enough, quiet enough; you are not clean enough or quiet enough, sometimes, when I wake up in the mornings. you are consistently singing and banging on that goddamn guitar and ashing your cigarettes in beer cans and dirtying mugs.
who can tell why these things matter, but sometimes, these things matter, when I wake up in the mornings, and I put red lipstick on (I never wear red lipstick), I put it on so I won't have to kiss you goodbye (I'd mark your cheek).
just kidding, I never wear red lipstick.
this is not meant to give you a heavy heart. if I am giving you the Wrong Idea, it is because I am trying to get rid of it.
not everything is bad because listen to this
today I acquired a red woolen sweater. what I mean is I filched it.
what happened was, I was in the back room at work, and these beams of light shone down from the ceiling in that cramped room; filled with old clothing and the belongings of employees long since fired, like a graveyard of materialism; and I saw this red woolen sweater with little white buttons, and god himself spoke to me, sorry I mean God Himself.
He said, "Remember how much you wanted that same sweater in Junior High (God always capitalizes properly), and how you saved your pay cheques, but it was Christmas, so you bought presents for your family instead? See? I remember everything, even if you forget, and even though it may take awhile, I always pull through. You have what you want now, don't you?"
it was a superficial Holy Moment, but it was a Holy Moment all the same.
just kidding, (God Himself can't even begin to piece together what it is that I want).