what dreams may come
there is a movie called what dreams may come.
in it, robin williams, a doctor, dies and goes to the afterlife. this particular afterlife is very existential and almost eastern-influenced in it's self-aware nature.
while he is there his wife kills herself. at this point the movie becomes a little bit catholic in the idea that when someone passes by taking their own life they break a covenant. with the idea that the living should live. in doing so she can't possibly realize that she is dead. and she is stuck 'living' her afterlife in a place that is ultimately alone and trapped in the state of mind she was living in.
robin williams goes to rescue her. i was watching this with a friend the other day and i remembered why at one time i loved this movie so much. robin's friend in the movie, cuba gooding jr, tells him he cannot save his wife. that to do so would surely mean he would loose himself. that he would join her, yes. but he would merely become lost in the hell-like solitude she herself was trapped in. he would not know her. she would not know him. but robin williams insists. i cannot remmber his exact words but they contain the idea that no matter what he has to try and if the risk is his life than it is well worth the taking because any lived without her is simply not living.
his words hurt to hear. because i remember being in highschool and saying to myself that that was what i believed. that if you tried hard enough that anything was possible. how my naivite broke. so well. so cleanly and thuroughly.
i did what robin did. he came back with his wife. his soul-mate. i came back empty-handed. a corny anime show i watch, naruto, the main character of that very name looses his best friend. he wishes more than anything to bring him back and become the leader of all the people he loves in his village. but he says that he cannot even think to become the leader if he cannot even save his friend. i kind of feel that way. that i can't possibly be fit to love if i couldn't save my friend.
and i know that none of us are fit to love. and i know it's not me that's gonna save anyone.
...more work to do...
in it, robin williams, a doctor, dies and goes to the afterlife. this particular afterlife is very existential and almost eastern-influenced in it's self-aware nature.
while he is there his wife kills herself. at this point the movie becomes a little bit catholic in the idea that when someone passes by taking their own life they break a covenant. with the idea that the living should live. in doing so she can't possibly realize that she is dead. and she is stuck 'living' her afterlife in a place that is ultimately alone and trapped in the state of mind she was living in.
robin williams goes to rescue her. i was watching this with a friend the other day and i remembered why at one time i loved this movie so much. robin's friend in the movie, cuba gooding jr, tells him he cannot save his wife. that to do so would surely mean he would loose himself. that he would join her, yes. but he would merely become lost in the hell-like solitude she herself was trapped in. he would not know her. she would not know him. but robin williams insists. i cannot remmber his exact words but they contain the idea that no matter what he has to try and if the risk is his life than it is well worth the taking because any lived without her is simply not living.
his words hurt to hear. because i remember being in highschool and saying to myself that that was what i believed. that if you tried hard enough that anything was possible. how my naivite broke. so well. so cleanly and thuroughly.
i did what robin did. he came back with his wife. his soul-mate. i came back empty-handed. a corny anime show i watch, naruto, the main character of that very name looses his best friend. he wishes more than anything to bring him back and become the leader of all the people he loves in his village. but he says that he cannot even think to become the leader if he cannot even save his friend. i kind of feel that way. that i can't possibly be fit to love if i couldn't save my friend.
and i know that none of us are fit to love. and i know it's not me that's gonna save anyone.
...more work to do...