Finally a break!
I'm so glad we get this week off of school. Time to catch up on all my work!
But...
I'm depressed. I didn't think I would be but I am. I guess my heart really does belong to the sport, if thats what it's called.
I wish I would've put my head into it. I wish I would've pushed my hardest, to the point of barfing, to the point of feeling dizzy for an hour afterwords, to the point of collapsing on the finish line, to the point of getting a flippin' PR, and getting all CIF, and going to state... I really am starting to believe I could've done it... but I didn't and that's why I'm depressed. I'm finally done... just what I've been waiting for... but now I don't want to be. I could've been a name, or a face, or someone to look out for... but I'm not because I didn't put my head into it.
Everyone was there for me. They all wasted their Saturday on me. That was part of my nervousness. I was alone. That was also part of it. I'm done making excuses. But it was odd. I feel like I let them down.
I'm still going to run everyday. Footlocker is coming up. That's my last chance to rise up. I'll take it this time.
And then there was that call... I just don't understand the situation anymore. I guess I never did in the first place.
Anyways...
Soccer. I'm on varsity so far. Things can change though. Well just have to see. So I just have to bust my butt to hold my place.
But...
I'm depressed. I didn't think I would be but I am. I guess my heart really does belong to the sport, if thats what it's called.
I wish I would've put my head into it. I wish I would've pushed my hardest, to the point of barfing, to the point of feeling dizzy for an hour afterwords, to the point of collapsing on the finish line, to the point of getting a flippin' PR, and getting all CIF, and going to state... I really am starting to believe I could've done it... but I didn't and that's why I'm depressed. I'm finally done... just what I've been waiting for... but now I don't want to be. I could've been a name, or a face, or someone to look out for... but I'm not because I didn't put my head into it.
Everyone was there for me. They all wasted their Saturday on me. That was part of my nervousness. I was alone. That was also part of it. I'm done making excuses. But it was odd. I feel like I let them down.
I'm still going to run everyday. Footlocker is coming up. That's my last chance to rise up. I'll take it this time.
And then there was that call... I just don't understand the situation anymore. I guess I never did in the first place.
Anyways...
Soccer. I'm on varsity so far. Things can change though. Well just have to see. So I just have to bust my butt to hold my place.