what am i thinking at this very moment?
i dont know. things r so off right now. i didnt think it would end up this way. things arent always what they seem. and some things ARE what they seem. intuition. funny thing. no i dont want that. u dont either. so lets not. can i take it back? maybe. wow, he's gross! i dunno why i kinda felt a little jealous when i first met him. ew. lol. oh well, that disappeared fast. oh and HIM, well thats gross also. wuteva. and this new one? seems ok, but havent met him yet. i'll be the judge. we shall see. not so great from what i hear, but maybe thats what u need. i dunno. ive gotta look at my options. i want to be with someone sort of. but not really. i dont want a bf. i dont know when and if i want one again. trust is a tough thing to build back up isnt it? funny thing that im the one that is left unsure and changed. i guess we will see what happens. almost in ep. wonder how things will go. probably not at all like i imagine they will. oh well, they never do. but that doesnt matter to me. right now i am my number one priority. take care of urself first or u wont be able to take care of others. i spent too much time caring for another and not getting an equal amount in return. waste of time? no. i learned from that experience. absolutely no regrets. none. fuck u. asshole. not u. u. yeah u. u think im talking to u but im not. im talking to THAT one. so stupid. hope thats a good memory. doesnt matter anymore. oh well. lets see...lets see what happens and where things go.
sorry to those who had to read this confusing jumble of thoughts. ; )