(no subject)
I have moved from feeling one strong emotion to two. Every time I think about the good stuff we did and were planning to do, of how amazing he was to me (and as a person) for those first 3 months, it rips a huge hole in my heart. However, I think about the last month and how he changed so much and treated me so very appallingly- especially in comparison to how he was before- and I get really angry and confused. It still doesn't make sense how you can be so sure of someone and then a few weeks later want nothing to do with them.
But I am moving forward. School has been an absolute blessing by keeping me so busy I didn't have time to dwell on anything. That's one of the wonderful things about teaching- once you hit your stride a few minutes into class, nothing exists but you and the kids. I managed to cry so hard Tuesday night that I pulled a muscle in my neck- I'm even impressed by that one- and it still hurts like a bitch but I can at least move it now, which is improvement. To summarize, life continues on. I was so sure for a while that it wouldn't.
But I am moving forward. School has been an absolute blessing by keeping me so busy I didn't have time to dwell on anything. That's one of the wonderful things about teaching- once you hit your stride a few minutes into class, nothing exists but you and the kids. I managed to cry so hard Tuesday night that I pulled a muscle in my neck- I'm even impressed by that one- and it still hurts like a bitch but I can at least move it now, which is improvement. To summarize, life continues on. I was so sure for a while that it wouldn't.