My Forever Search.... The possibilities are few..
My endless search for a soul mate continues. Just when I believe there is hope. There is none. The days go by faster and faster and my future grows slim. I'm too obsessed with this search, when I should better my situation. I don't feel like I'm living. It's a weird feeling but I have noticed some things about myself. Things that I couldn't do before I can do now. My singing voice has become 50 times superior to it's predecessor. I have the will to get up and actually exercise and eat right. Eat right, or just eat much much less.. I'm confused with things lately. I still feel the sadness and loneliness I have before. Instead of being sad and depressed, I embrace it with a smile. Things are becoming too weird... I can't stop myself from being happy, yet I can't stop myself from being sad. This leads to rage and fury. I have become more volatile, more edgy and uneasy..... I guess I just need someone to balance my feelings out. Someone that has so much in common with me. I just can't find her.... I can't find anybody to relate these feelings to... No one can understand them or me. No one tries to..... It's so hard to keep going. It's so lonely, when you don't even know yourself. :(