Leaving - Prologue
Something was on his mind, but Wooyoung ignored it and poked Khun’s cheek. “Ya, wake up.”
“Let me sleep a bit longer Wooyoungie.” He licked his lips. What are you trying to do to me?
“Don’t call me that, I don’t like it.”
“But I like it.” Nichkhun rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Your cheeks are red. It’s really hot in this damn classroom, huh?”
“Yes, it’s sweltering. Now can we leave?” Wooyoung fidgeted and began putting stuff in his book bag. He could hear girls outside the classroom. Sometime between when Khun was sleeping and when he woke up, something drastic had changed.
“Wooyoungie, do you want to go somewhere?!” Khun whispered excitedly, getting close to Wooyoung’s face. His breath grazed Wooyoung’s neck and suddenly it was cold. Wooyoung sighed and widened his eyes.
“Um, like where?” To be alone with Khun, Wooyoung admitted to himself, was bliss. The attention never diverted; Khun’s eyes always on his. He was selfish, he knew.
“School’s out. It’s summer. Let’s go get drunk.”
Somewhere in Seoul, someone had to know that these two teenage boys were somehow doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. It was late at night when Khun and Wooyoung finally decided on where they would go. They sat on a bus, alone. The bus went over bumps each time and Wooyoung’s shoulders touched Nichkhun. Khun was smiling for no reason. Happy to be alive, perhaps? But that certain something was on Wooyoung’s mind.
Oh yes, of course, he would never see Khun after this night. His parents were transferred to Pusan. He had to move. This was the end. No, Wooyoung felt the pain in his chest again. Something gripped at his heart and it hurt to breathe. He grasped for air and held his hand against his chest; a subconscious reaction that prevented his feelings from pouring onto the floor for everyone to see. He had mistaken jealously and friendship as his feelings for Khun, when he knew very well it was love. I mean, of course, I love him. He’s my best friend. Wooyoung shook his head, noting his denial.
If there had ever been anything Wooyoung knew for a fact, apart from that he was a dedicated student and good son was that he was in love. He longed to see Khun’s face on days when they couldn’t meet. When Khun’s friendly affection had become questionable, such as hugging Wooyoung for extended periods of time for absolutely no reason, Wooyoung’s heart hurt and his head reeled. Wooyoung hated the girls because he envied their courage and their opportunities with Khun. He reveled at the fact that he would never be able to look Khun in his endless eyes and say to him as well, “I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you.” There was their friendship as well, that prevented Wooyoung from being risky. What if he decided to confess? God forbid Khun’s expression would tear him apart. Would he be disgusted? Would he run away? Would he ignore him for the rest of his life? Wooyoung would rather spend an eternity in the purgatory of never knowing where their relationship would go as opposed to knowing, and it being a terrible ending where he and Khun no longer speak. He loved him so much, that speaking to him, was equivalent to making love.
Khun noticed his friend struggling for air. He pulled the cord to stop the bus and helped him up.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Khun asked softly. He held Wooyoung’s hand in his, his fingertips like cotton candy.
“Nothing, let’s just get to that hotel or wherever.” Wooyoung held on tighter.
“You aren’t going to drink tonight. I don’t want you getting worse.” I need to be intoxicated right now.
Stumbling into the bedroom, Wooyoung threw himself on the water bed and looked at the room. Were they in a cheap motel? What kind of place was this? Khun placed the drinks on the night stand and jumped on the bed next to Wooyoung. Wooyoung’s heart raced. The bed moved as the water flowed inside of it. It was making Wooyoung nauseous.
Drink after drink after drink Khun laughed about their high school experiences together: skipping school (Khun made Wooyoung do it), hitting on girls (well, not really), and all the moments as friends in which they enjoyed each other’s company. There was more than one time when Wooyoung’s eyes would tear up; it was semi-torturous listening to Khun’s voice talk of only the past.
Wooyoung decided he really did need a drink.
Reaching for a bottle of soju that Khun held in his hand, Wooyoung leaned over Khun whom was relaxed on the bed, his heart beating rapidly. Khun smirked and scoffed.
“You’re not going to have ANNNNYYYY drinks!” Khun said, his words slurred since he was slightly buzzed. He swung the bottle away from Wooyoung, causing him to be chest to chest with his younger friend. Oh my god, heart slow down, damn it. Khun laughed as Wooyoung continued to reach for the bottle.
“Give me a little bit, c’mon! Why do you have to get to have all the fun?”
“No, n-n-no! Wooyoungie, you weren’t feeling w-well.” Wooyoung ignored him and continued to struggle for the bottle. “No.” Khun pushed Wooyoung onto the bed, his arms over his head. The bed swayed again.
“This isn’t fair.” He wasn’t talking about Khun’s ability to fight Wooyoung for alcohol. He was talking about Khun’s upper-hand, and of course, their compromising position which rendered Wooyoung helpless. He wanted to die. No, he wanted to grab Khun’s face and kiss him. Desperately.
“I honestly don’t careeee~.” Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something in reply but it was too late. Khun had bent down to kiss his lower lip, which now quivered in excruciating pain. Wooyoung whimpered and prayed for the courage to stop him, though in honesty he didn’t want to. Khun lifted his head in a moment of consciousness. He looked at Wooyoung’s face and for a second, it seemed as if he was going to stop, as if he realized that what he was doing was out of the ordinary. Wooyoung’s breaths were hitched and he was ready to ask Khun not to stop. He didn’t have to.
Khun kissed him again, this time more passionately, taking both his lips into his mouth. Wooyoung ignored the smell of the alcohol and ignored the fact that he didn’t understand what was going on and let Khun do whatever he wanted.
Khun lowered his lips to Wooyoung’s neck this time. He looked straight at Wooyoung, never closing his eyes. Wooyoung had his eyes shut, nervous and shaking, took his released hands from above his head and covered his face. Khun licked his neck and kissed it again. He parted his lips and breathed hot air onto Wooyoung’s neck. Khun let his hands run down Wooyoung’s arms and down to the hem of his shirt. He pulled Wooyoung’s tucked shirt out of his pants and slid his hands under Wooyoung’s shirt. Khun caressed his skin and continued to kiss him. Wooyoung let out a soft moan. Khun’s hand drifted back down to Wooyoung’s waist line and the zipper of his pants and then stopped.
“Are you m-mad at me?” Khun asked Wooyoung suddenly. His intoxication still apparent. Wooyoung was furious. He was confused. This is how Khun was going to act when he was drunk? Do random inexplicable acts? At the same time it was perpetual heaven…all except for the fact that he would never see Nichkhun again.
“No.” Wooyoung replied, his voice faltering. He tried hard not to cry. Suddenly, he felt weight on him and looked to see that Nichkhun had fallen asleep. He looked so innocent when he was asleep but Wooyoung knew better, or at least he did now.
Wooyoung was still confused. Why in the world would Khun do that? Eventually, because he really could not think of any other reasonable explanation, he summed it up to Khun being drunk. Within hours, he was so passed out that Wooyoung lifted him off his chest and put the covers over him. He got up and took a look at his best friend, his Nichkhun.
And he left. He ran.
He ran to the bus station, ran to his house, and ran to his room. For what seemed like years, he ran from everything. Until time began to run with him and 7 years passed.