what have i done? what the fuck am i doing?
series of events over the past week or so.
i think i finally "gave up" on navy girl, she confessed her feelings that she still had for someone else, and i realized that she was just too stubborn to give in to me no matter how much she likes me...i still like her..i'm still attracted to her..but i cant keep fighthing a battle i wont win...maybe she'll come around some day..
thursday at work...nikky and i walked down to the cafeteria..per her request that i walk down with her. (this is the first time she has asked me to do this) while standing in line at the grill..we're cracking jokes about something..and i busted on her for something she said..so she told me "to go away..you're mean..i dont like you anymore" ...so i said "ok" and started to walk away...she then chased after me ..wrapped her arms around me from behind ..and walked me back over to grill..she rested her chin on my shoulder while still standing behind me and said " you know what? i would really like to NOT like you right now." i just looked at her and said "alright" ...she then seemed a little embarrassed and uncomfortable for a few minutes...strange girl..i hope she doesnt like me..she's cute..she's nice..but i dont dip my pen in the company ink.
a week ago today i met the paramedic in person..after talking to her online for only a few days before..we talked here at my apt til 2:30am..she left..and kissed me before she walked away.
the next night she brought me dinner at school ...and came over afterward...we hung out til 4:30am..she was too tired to drive home..so i let her sleep here.
we hung out again tues night.
wednesday i get an email from navy girl full of excuses as to why i havent heard from her over the past few weeks..along with an apology. this rips open my heart open a little.
thurs night..i let the paramedic end my almost 2 yr long dry spell..why?? .she's a good girl..and it was a 2 yr long dry spell!
friday morning text msg from ex---"i miss you...is it ok to say that??" ....hoy
friday night..while babysitting my brothers kids..i almost flood his house...in the middle of this flood...i'm talking with jolie ..in what was probably the best conversation we've ever had...she wasn't feeling well..i of course had to call her back later...i did..she was sleeping..she asked that i call her back the next day..i said 'of course'...she said 'thank you baby'...?????? i'm telling you ..i absolutely adore that girl....
saturday...i talked with jolie again...another good convo..but the more interesting part was a text msg convo...i sent her a text msg that said..."i just fell asleep and had a dream...and you there! i smiled, looked at you and said "what are you doing here?" and you smiled, and said "i dont know silly, its your dream" ....she responded to my text msg and said " i was coming to molest you!" ...so i responded and said "excellent, i'm going back to sleep to finish that dream! :-)" she replys "u do that :), maybe i'll go have a dream of my own" ...."
1:45 am saturday/sunday - i get another email from navy girl that says she has something to tell me.... "i still think about you alot" ..of course she also mentions that she is still scared of getting hurt...that she will regret sending the email..and that she was buzzed when she typed it.
*sigh*
i think i finally "gave up" on navy girl, she confessed her feelings that she still had for someone else, and i realized that she was just too stubborn to give in to me no matter how much she likes me...i still like her..i'm still attracted to her..but i cant keep fighthing a battle i wont win...maybe she'll come around some day..
thursday at work...nikky and i walked down to the cafeteria..per her request that i walk down with her. (this is the first time she has asked me to do this) while standing in line at the grill..we're cracking jokes about something..and i busted on her for something she said..so she told me "to go away..you're mean..i dont like you anymore" ...so i said "ok" and started to walk away...she then chased after me ..wrapped her arms around me from behind ..and walked me back over to grill..she rested her chin on my shoulder while still standing behind me and said " you know what? i would really like to NOT like you right now." i just looked at her and said "alright" ...she then seemed a little embarrassed and uncomfortable for a few minutes...strange girl..i hope she doesnt like me..she's cute..she's nice..but i dont dip my pen in the company ink.
a week ago today i met the paramedic in person..after talking to her online for only a few days before..we talked here at my apt til 2:30am..she left..and kissed me before she walked away.
the next night she brought me dinner at school ...and came over afterward...we hung out til 4:30am..she was too tired to drive home..so i let her sleep here.
we hung out again tues night.
wednesday i get an email from navy girl full of excuses as to why i havent heard from her over the past few weeks..along with an apology. this rips open my heart open a little.
thurs night..i let the paramedic end my almost 2 yr long dry spell..why?? .she's a good girl..and it was a 2 yr long dry spell!
friday morning text msg from ex---"i miss you...is it ok to say that??" ....hoy
friday night..while babysitting my brothers kids..i almost flood his house...in the middle of this flood...i'm talking with jolie ..in what was probably the best conversation we've ever had...she wasn't feeling well..i of course had to call her back later...i did..she was sleeping..she asked that i call her back the next day..i said 'of course'...she said 'thank you baby'...?????? i'm telling you ..i absolutely adore that girl....
saturday...i talked with jolie again...another good convo..but the more interesting part was a text msg convo...i sent her a text msg that said..."i just fell asleep and had a dream...and you there! i smiled, looked at you and said "what are you doing here?" and you smiled, and said "i dont know silly, its your dream" ....she responded to my text msg and said " i was coming to molest you!" ...so i responded and said "excellent, i'm going back to sleep to finish that dream! :-)" she replys "u do that :), maybe i'll go have a dream of my own" ...."
1:45 am saturday/sunday - i get another email from navy girl that says she has something to tell me.... "i still think about you alot" ..of course she also mentions that she is still scared of getting hurt...that she will regret sending the email..and that she was buzzed when she typed it.
*sigh*