*sprints across the country, leaps through the air, and POUNCEHUGS!!!*
Well, okay, I've never been known for being subtle.
It is so nice to hear from you again, and I'm so glad to hear that you've had a special man in your life for the past six months. I guess I can then excuse you from your lack of LJ posts because you've been otherwise occupied! (almost...) :-)
I'm sorry to hear it has lost it's initial effervescence. I agree with everything firelove said, so I won't repeat that. The Pepsi analogy is really good. I'll remember that.
Do you feel like you and your boyfriend can really talk and communicate openly about things? Because now is the time when you need to be doing that. If it seems like there are certain things that you just can't talk about and share openly, then you have a problem. You might consider counseling.
Early in every relationship, the relationship is fueled by sexual desire, the thrill of having a special person in your life, and the process of discovering each other. After awhile that is bound to subside. When the sparkly stuff starts to wear off and you see that you have a solid foundation of love, partnership, and open communication, then you know you've really got something.
Maybe you just need to inject something fresh. Go somewhere for the weekend! Compare now to when you first started dating; do you go out as often as you used to? Surprise him with flowers or candy, or cook him a special dinner. Do you say "I love you" often? Do you still compliment him on his fine points? Try some of those (whatever works for you and him) and see if you start getting it back.
Even if this doesn't work out, I know that you will look back on your relationship with this guy as a great way to have spent six months of the journey of your life. It was fun, you learned some things, and it's always nice to have the reinforcement that somebody thinks you're real special and that you're still date-able.
Of course, I can tell you that! *hugs ya real tight*
I hope things work out for the best for you, whatever that ends up being.
Thanks for pouncing across the country and the hug. Hmmmmm the pounce sounds a bit erotic ...*wink* Geesh ! I am suppose to be upset and look where my mind is at !!! But that is great isn't it ?!
Seriously though, thanks for the excellent advice. I don't have anyone "live" here that I can discuss these things with, so I was happy to listen to your perspective. That perspective obviously comes from a wise and gentle heart with just a dash of realism which is great ! As far as the communication it seems when I address concerns his voice would raise and it would lead to an argument. If I catch him on the raised voice sometimes we could have honest discussion
As I told Firelove, last night I chose the Merlot over the Pepsi. I called him and he was curt and said he and his room mate were going out. The call was quick on his part. I didn't apologize because I think I was right in my comments about lack of affection. But I did open the door to more discussion. I also had time to look a bit more at the whole thing and I am sad that there is a possibility of this ending. Yet, I also see where maybe I am just caught up in my first real relationship and afraid to maybe see the negative objectively. I have always been a hopeless romantic and see mostly the good in people.
Today will be a day of more reflection yet a bit more active then yesterday. A more "wait and see" day.
It is awesome here weather wise so that will help my spirits. I also did my yoga and meditation. If it does fail then I really like your advice of where you said..........
"Even if this doesn't work out, I know that you will look back on your relationship with this guy as a great way to have spent six months of the journey of your life. It was fun, you learned some things, and it's always nice to have the reinforcement that somebody thinks you're real special and that you're still date-able."
Dave, I know what you said is true ! It is a wonder-filled journey and I have always taken the good from things and hopefully learned. Thanks once more for your friendship and concern.
*sprints across the country, leaps through the air, and POUNCEHUGS!!!*
Well, okay, I've never been known for being subtle.
It is so nice to hear from you again, and I'm so glad to hear that you've had a special man in your life for the past six months. I guess I can then excuse you from your lack of LJ posts because you've been otherwise occupied! (almost...) :-)
I'm sorry to hear it has lost it's initial effervescence. I agree with everything firelove said, so I won't repeat that. The Pepsi analogy is really good. I'll remember that.
Do you feel like you and your boyfriend can really talk and communicate openly about things? Because now is the time when you need to be doing that. If it seems like there are certain things that you just can't talk about and share openly, then you have a problem. You might consider counseling.
Early in every relationship, the relationship is fueled by sexual desire, the thrill of having a special person in your life, and the process of discovering each other. After awhile that is bound to subside. When the sparkly stuff starts to wear off and you see that you have a solid foundation of love, partnership, and open communication, then you know you've really got something.
Maybe you just need to inject something fresh. Go somewhere for the weekend! Compare now to when you first started dating; do you go out as often as you used to? Surprise him with flowers or candy, or cook him a special dinner. Do you say "I love you" often? Do you still compliment him on his fine points? Try some of those (whatever works for you and him) and see if you start getting it back.
Even if this doesn't work out, I know that you will look back on your relationship with this guy as a great way to have spent six months of the journey of your life. It was fun, you learned some things, and it's always nice to have the reinforcement that somebody thinks you're real special and that you're still date-able.
Of course, I can tell you that! *hugs ya real tight*
I hope things work out for the best for you, whatever that ends up being.
Dave
Reply
Hmmmmm the pounce sounds a bit erotic ...*wink*
Geesh !
I am suppose to be upset and look where my mind is at !!! But that is great isn't it ?!
Seriously though, thanks for the excellent advice.
I don't have anyone "live" here that I can discuss these things with, so I was happy to listen to your perspective. That perspective obviously comes from a wise and gentle heart with just a dash of realism which is great !
As far as the communication it seems when I address concerns his voice would raise and it would lead to an argument. If I catch him on the raised voice sometimes we could have honest discussion
As I told Firelove, last night I chose the Merlot over the Pepsi. I called him and he was curt and said he and his room mate were going out. The call was quick on his part. I didn't apologize because I think I was right in my comments about lack of affection. But I did open the door to more discussion. I also had time to look a bit more at the whole thing and I am sad that there is a possibility of this ending. Yet, I also see where maybe I am just caught up in my first real relationship and afraid to maybe see the negative objectively. I have always been a hopeless romantic and see mostly the good in people.
Today will be a day of more reflection yet a bit more active then yesterday. A more "wait and see" day.
It is awesome here weather wise so that will help my spirits. I also did my yoga and meditation.
If it does fail then I really like your advice of where you said..........
"Even if this doesn't work out, I know that you will look back on your relationship with this guy as a great way to have spent six months of the journey of your life. It was fun, you learned some things, and it's always nice to have the reinforcement that somebody thinks you're real special and that you're still date-able."
Dave, I know what you said is true !
It is a wonder-filled journey and I have always taken the good from things and hopefully learned.
Thanks once more for your friendship and concern.
Now about that "pouncing"........
he he he
John
Reply
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