(no subject)
so it's the fourth of july and i'm at home by choice. it seems that i choose to stay home a lot these days. it's just the mood i'm in. i'll be out of it soon. i feel really strange today. i was thinking a lot about the past. life was so carefree back then. there are a few people from back then in my life now. such as jessica who calls and asks me to hang out all the time. i'll be up for hanging out again soon. i promise. jared will come visit soon. we get to go to a wedding. talking to those people makes me think of how things used to be when we were first friends. i also saw a few people the other night that i used to see on a daily basis. i was told how much i was missed and loved and it was a shock but made me feel so nice. i could tell it was genuine. the most important people from back then aren't in my life anymore. but who knows, maybe they will be someday. that's all i can hope for. i was standing in my living room just a minute ago, looking into a huge mirror that my mother has on the wall. i was thinking of how i wish i could take a picture of what i see in the mirror. there i was with a big mug of hot cocoa. the mug made me think of savannah. back when she always talked about opening up her own coffee shop. i had bought her the same exact mug to start her collection. in the background was my sewing machine. i was working on a quilt. then there was my record player with yo la tengo setting the mood. what i saw and heard seemed to capture my mood perfectly. i feel like there is about to be a big change in my life. i welcome it, whatever it might be.