100 truths - much delayed
Well...here is a warning:
UBER DEPRESSING. I didn't post it when i filled it out because It was too god damned depressing and so i promiced myself that i'd post it when i was out of said "funk". and while i'm not completely done with it, i'm on the right road. Still not sure if i'm going to do the teaching thing or the pharmasist thing. But with current events changing so much...i'm pulling out of it. I just stagnated for a long time. And everything was the same. And it drove me nuts. THAT and the people i'm around every day. That and it's been a few years since i've been around someone i can FUCKING INTELLECTUALLY RELATE TO. But this is going to change. I'm moving out of las vegas sometime next year. move on with life. etc. But....here it is. The '100 truths' of my "not cool" times here in vegas:
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: A glass of water
2. Last phone call: To my own phone. I was trying to LOCATE it...
3. Last text message: to my sister. While i may have indeed left my heart in San Francisco (i'm living there one of these days), I also left my GPS.
4. Last song you listened to: A tale of the Tribe of Timothy Leary by Allen Ginsberg
5. Last time you cried: Ahh....the 13th of June. Upon sitting down and spending time with the memoryless and eternal pacific ocean. I didn't cry. I wept......and for the first time in months, felt something REAL.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Yes
7. Been cheated on: Yes...but i didn't care.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Every one except the one's with my family and in dreams...
9. Lost someone special: Yes. Including myself.
10. Been depressed: I think i am now...but yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up: Oh yeah...
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Sage
13. Green
14. Yellow
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Not really. Unless you count life. I'm no longer excited by anything. It's kind of sad...and it needs to change.
17. Laughed until you cried: Still havn't lost my sense of humor though! Hells yeah!
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes. His name is Truc....and he may have convinced me to shoot my idealist teacher dreams in the head and take the money...
19. Found out who your true friends are: I've forgotten what true friendship is. It's very lonely. This is all my own fault....i need to get out there and reboot my life...but i always seem to be busy...
20. Found out someone was talking about you: That's retail for you. Everyone talks about everyone else. and I don't care...
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: All but one or two...
23. How many kids do you want to have: A lot. No...seriously. A lot. If not by love (which i think i've ruled out.....), then by adoption.
25. Do you want to change your name: I like my names...made-up and Legal.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Went to drive to work to find out my car was dead. took a taxi to work. Worked. Bought my traditional birthday angel.....it was a car decoration. Came home. Called dad. Jumped car. Went out to dinner.....went home, got drunk, played video games, went to bed.
27. What time did you wake up today: 12:45pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: looking through the "strictly platonic" list on craig's list.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Feeling LOVE. aka: when my mom get's into town. When my neices and nephews are here...
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Last week in San Francisco. Before that, it was christmas.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Experincing real emotions. I've lost my sense of purpose and creativity. Seriously not cool.
32. What are you listening to right now: Speed Racer (porn mix)....it's a techno song. wow. bad timing...
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: He's one of my overnight pharmasists...
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Not having my room clean. Republicans. Stupid people.
35. Most visited webpage: www.fark.com
36. What's your real name: Alton
37. Nicknames: Wombat
38. Relationship Status: I don't think i'll ever find love. People are insane and have serious co-dependancy issues. Being not interested in vaginas, it's going to be even harder. So i've come to peace with being single for the rest of my life. If i managed to find a woman who could deal with my asexuality and who wouldn't be absolutly emotionally insane....then great. not counting on it.
39. Zodiac sign: Libra
40. Male or female: Male....albeit not a very good one. I'm very passive and not "testosterone" driven.
41. Elementary School: Vegas Verdes and Trailwood
42. Middle School: Indian Woods
43. High school/college: Shawnee Mission South, Warren Wilson College
44. Hair colour: Dirty Brown
45. Long or short: Short. Simple
46. Height: 6'1"
47. Do you have a crush on someone: That would require a social network....thus no.
48: What do you like about yourself: My sense of humor. Easy goingness...
49. Piercings: Never
50. Tattoos: When I'm ready...my entire back.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty
FIRSTS
52. First surgery: 16. Sublexing Perineal Tendon (one of the rarest injuries in the world)
53. First piercing: Never
54. First best friend: Nathaniel Olsen
55. First sport you joined: Football (fighting kids in elementry school with a stick doesn't count)
56. First vacation: Disneyland
58. First pair of trainers: What?! Is this a brit writing this? I have no clue what shoes i first wore were...
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: my own insecurities. I'm reaching a kind of crecendo for this funk i'm in.
60. Drinking: Uhm...not.
61. I'm about to: clean my room
62. Listening to: The Big Rock Candy Mountain (O brother where ought though?)
63. Waiting on: My ass to get into gear and clean my room...
YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids: When I'm ready...
65. Get Married: If love finds me. I doubt it.
66. Career: Recent Change. Something that will pay me a lot of money. Probably a Pharmasist.
WHICH IS BETTER?
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Either
70. Older or Younger: Younger.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romance is over rated. Spontaneous.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: For women, stomach. I loves me a hot stomach in more ways than one.
73. Sensitive or loud: Senstive people need to let go. Loud.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant....but only because they always think before acting. I'm down with the trouble makers. I'm all about the Fred and George Weasley's of this world. They think out their trouble makingness. That's the best kind…
HAVE YOU EVER
76. Kissed a stranger: Yes
77. Drank hard liquor: All the time...
78. Lost glasses/contacts: No glasses!
79. Sex on first date: No.
80. Broken someone's heart: Yes....but it wasn't a relationship where i was in. I just let her know that she and her crush wern't going to work. She took it rather badly.
82. Been arrested: Hehe...Guilty!
83. Turned someone down: No.
84. Cried when someone died: Tears of beauty. I never cry out of grief when it comes to death...
85. Fallen for a friend: Nope.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
86. Yourself: I used to. But that's coming back
87. Miracles: The power of the human mind does produce miricles. But in the literal sense, no.
88. Love at first sight: It's for the foolish. For fools, yes. For the wise, no.
89. Heaven: Every night when i dream. and a few minutes everyday when I think it's fun to imagine it. and each time I think of the different places/concepts of "heaven" I use in my book. But....sadly....no. There is no heaven but what we dream. Although, I despiratly want their to be one and I'm obsessed with angels. And also despite the fact that I have seen that tunnel of light and what's beyond (this was my brain short circuiting. however, it was still amazing) But short answer: NO.
90. Santa Claus: Yes. In the sense it's an idea that continues to have physical affects in our world. But literally...No.
91. Kiss on the first date: Sure. If that's your nature...
92. Angels: I love angels. But no.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today: Several times. Last time, i sang along with STING singing "russians".
96. Ever cheated on somebody: No.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: The sixties. That or if i could survive, the pool of complex molecules that gave birth to life here...and study/record what the fuck happened.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: Christmas...
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: In all honesty......yes.
100. Posting this as 100 truths: Sure...
UBER DEPRESSING. I didn't post it when i filled it out because It was too god damned depressing and so i promiced myself that i'd post it when i was out of said "funk". and while i'm not completely done with it, i'm on the right road. Still not sure if i'm going to do the teaching thing or the pharmasist thing. But with current events changing so much...i'm pulling out of it. I just stagnated for a long time. And everything was the same. And it drove me nuts. THAT and the people i'm around every day. That and it's been a few years since i've been around someone i can FUCKING INTELLECTUALLY RELATE TO. But this is going to change. I'm moving out of las vegas sometime next year. move on with life. etc. But....here it is. The '100 truths' of my "not cool" times here in vegas:
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: A glass of water
2. Last phone call: To my own phone. I was trying to LOCATE it...
3. Last text message: to my sister. While i may have indeed left my heart in San Francisco (i'm living there one of these days), I also left my GPS.
4. Last song you listened to: A tale of the Tribe of Timothy Leary by Allen Ginsberg
5. Last time you cried: Ahh....the 13th of June. Upon sitting down and spending time with the memoryless and eternal pacific ocean. I didn't cry. I wept......and for the first time in months, felt something REAL.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Yes
7. Been cheated on: Yes...but i didn't care.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Every one except the one's with my family and in dreams...
9. Lost someone special: Yes. Including myself.
10. Been depressed: I think i am now...but yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up: Oh yeah...
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Sage
13. Green
14. Yellow
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Not really. Unless you count life. I'm no longer excited by anything. It's kind of sad...and it needs to change.
17. Laughed until you cried: Still havn't lost my sense of humor though! Hells yeah!
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes. His name is Truc....and he may have convinced me to shoot my idealist teacher dreams in the head and take the money...
19. Found out who your true friends are: I've forgotten what true friendship is. It's very lonely. This is all my own fault....i need to get out there and reboot my life...but i always seem to be busy...
20. Found out someone was talking about you: That's retail for you. Everyone talks about everyone else. and I don't care...
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: All but one or two...
23. How many kids do you want to have: A lot. No...seriously. A lot. If not by love (which i think i've ruled out.....), then by adoption.
25. Do you want to change your name: I like my names...made-up and Legal.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Went to drive to work to find out my car was dead. took a taxi to work. Worked. Bought my traditional birthday angel.....it was a car decoration. Came home. Called dad. Jumped car. Went out to dinner.....went home, got drunk, played video games, went to bed.
27. What time did you wake up today: 12:45pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: looking through the "strictly platonic" list on craig's list.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Feeling LOVE. aka: when my mom get's into town. When my neices and nephews are here...
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Last week in San Francisco. Before that, it was christmas.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Experincing real emotions. I've lost my sense of purpose and creativity. Seriously not cool.
32. What are you listening to right now: Speed Racer (porn mix)....it's a techno song. wow. bad timing...
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: He's one of my overnight pharmasists...
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Not having my room clean. Republicans. Stupid people.
35. Most visited webpage: www.fark.com
36. What's your real name: Alton
37. Nicknames: Wombat
38. Relationship Status: I don't think i'll ever find love. People are insane and have serious co-dependancy issues. Being not interested in vaginas, it's going to be even harder. So i've come to peace with being single for the rest of my life. If i managed to find a woman who could deal with my asexuality and who wouldn't be absolutly emotionally insane....then great. not counting on it.
39. Zodiac sign: Libra
40. Male or female: Male....albeit not a very good one. I'm very passive and not "testosterone" driven.
41. Elementary School: Vegas Verdes and Trailwood
42. Middle School: Indian Woods
43. High school/college: Shawnee Mission South, Warren Wilson College
44. Hair colour: Dirty Brown
45. Long or short: Short. Simple
46. Height: 6'1"
47. Do you have a crush on someone: That would require a social network....thus no.
48: What do you like about yourself: My sense of humor. Easy goingness...
49. Piercings: Never
50. Tattoos: When I'm ready...my entire back.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty
FIRSTS
52. First surgery: 16. Sublexing Perineal Tendon (one of the rarest injuries in the world)
53. First piercing: Never
54. First best friend: Nathaniel Olsen
55. First sport you joined: Football (fighting kids in elementry school with a stick doesn't count)
56. First vacation: Disneyland
58. First pair of trainers: What?! Is this a brit writing this? I have no clue what shoes i first wore were...
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: my own insecurities. I'm reaching a kind of crecendo for this funk i'm in.
60. Drinking: Uhm...not.
61. I'm about to: clean my room
62. Listening to: The Big Rock Candy Mountain (O brother where ought though?)
63. Waiting on: My ass to get into gear and clean my room...
YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids: When I'm ready...
65. Get Married: If love finds me. I doubt it.
66. Career: Recent Change. Something that will pay me a lot of money. Probably a Pharmasist.
WHICH IS BETTER?
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Either
70. Older or Younger: Younger.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romance is over rated. Spontaneous.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: For women, stomach. I loves me a hot stomach in more ways than one.
73. Sensitive or loud: Senstive people need to let go. Loud.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant....but only because they always think before acting. I'm down with the trouble makers. I'm all about the Fred and George Weasley's of this world. They think out their trouble makingness. That's the best kind…
HAVE YOU EVER
76. Kissed a stranger: Yes
77. Drank hard liquor: All the time...
78. Lost glasses/contacts: No glasses!
79. Sex on first date: No.
80. Broken someone's heart: Yes....but it wasn't a relationship where i was in. I just let her know that she and her crush wern't going to work. She took it rather badly.
82. Been arrested: Hehe...Guilty!
83. Turned someone down: No.
84. Cried when someone died: Tears of beauty. I never cry out of grief when it comes to death...
85. Fallen for a friend: Nope.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
86. Yourself: I used to. But that's coming back
87. Miracles: The power of the human mind does produce miricles. But in the literal sense, no.
88. Love at first sight: It's for the foolish. For fools, yes. For the wise, no.
89. Heaven: Every night when i dream. and a few minutes everyday when I think it's fun to imagine it. and each time I think of the different places/concepts of "heaven" I use in my book. But....sadly....no. There is no heaven but what we dream. Although, I despiratly want their to be one and I'm obsessed with angels. And also despite the fact that I have seen that tunnel of light and what's beyond (this was my brain short circuiting. however, it was still amazing) But short answer: NO.
90. Santa Claus: Yes. In the sense it's an idea that continues to have physical affects in our world. But literally...No.
91. Kiss on the first date: Sure. If that's your nature...
92. Angels: I love angels. But no.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today: Several times. Last time, i sang along with STING singing "russians".
96. Ever cheated on somebody: No.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: The sixties. That or if i could survive, the pool of complex molecules that gave birth to life here...and study/record what the fuck happened.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: Christmas...
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: In all honesty......yes.
100. Posting this as 100 truths: Sure...