How to Brag at womanly_arts
While reading through Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts, I was particularly struck by the concept of intentional bragging. MG writes: "Bragging about the goodness in your life, especially your pleasurable accomplishments, unearths your desires and fans the flames of desire in other women." (Chapter 2, exercise 2, pg. 50 in my book.)
In Mama Gena's Owner's & Operator's Guide to Men,(Chapter 2, exercise #7, pgs. 51 & 53,)
MG further elaborates: "[Women] have an unspoken agreement to bond with each other in the negative. It's going to be up to you ... to change the tide and go on tone patrol." She goes on to say, "What happens to a Sister Goddess once she begins to brag, instead of gripe, is that her pleasure begins to expand very rapidly."
I definitely see this dynamic in my own life. My regular journal is chock full of complaints and whinings. To be fair to myself, I make a deliberate effort to write about the good things in life too. I write about people and things that bring me pleasure. (There, I call them gratitudes.) My regular-journal persona, however, is unlikely to brag about my personal conquests and achievements. That persona fears that boasting will make me appear conceited.
Bragging should feature prominently here at womanly_arts. I believe that the concept is so alien to most women that some examples might be in order:
I must be on my game; I inspired my husband to bring me flowers.
NOT
My wonderful husband brought me flowers even though I didn't do anything to deserve them.
I looked fantastic when I went out ... and my girlfriends are gorgeous too.
NOT
I thought I looked pretty good when I went out ... even though my girlfriends are thinner than me.
I built a bookcase today.
NOT
I tried to build a bookcase today. It's a little crooked but I think it's serviceable.
Last night, I savored a dinner of lasagna, garlic bread and a nice wine. (It was clever of me to stop at the local Italian restaurant so I wouldn't have to cook.) After dinner, I took my glass of wine along as I relaxed in a hot bath with jasmine-scented bath oil. When the water started to cool, I set my book aside and shaved my legs. I wrapped up in my favorite robe, slathered my legs with a luxurious lotion and slipped into a warm pair of socks. I padded out to the living room and popped a new romantic comedy into the DVD player. When the movie was over, I considered tending to some home-keeping but I decided that I'd rather turn in. I slept like a baby. I love having an evening to myself.
NOT
Last night, I didn't feel like cooking for myself so I picked up some fast food on the way home. I took a hot shower, shaved my legs and put some over-priced lotion on. I wrapped up in a ratty robe and curled up to watch a chick-flick. When the movie was over, even though I really should have spent some time cleaning the apartment, I just went to bed. I need a boyfriend.
Get it? Now try it. Post a brag to womanly_arts. It can be short and succinct or poetically long and dripping with sensory details. Each brag should be its own entry ... don't hide your accomplishment or experience in a comment to another entry.
When you read the brag of another woman, consider commenting. If you catch her using self-deprecatory language, tell her. If you've had a similar experience, tell her. If her post gave you a good idea, tell her. If you just think she sounds like a cool person, tell her. If you feel that her post is too self-indulgent or silly or twisted, keep your comment to yourself.
In Mama Gena's Owner's & Operator's Guide to Men,(Chapter 2, exercise #7, pgs. 51 & 53,)
MG further elaborates: "[Women] have an unspoken agreement to bond with each other in the negative. It's going to be up to you ... to change the tide and go on tone patrol." She goes on to say, "What happens to a Sister Goddess once she begins to brag, instead of gripe, is that her pleasure begins to expand very rapidly."
I definitely see this dynamic in my own life. My regular journal is chock full of complaints and whinings. To be fair to myself, I make a deliberate effort to write about the good things in life too. I write about people and things that bring me pleasure. (There, I call them gratitudes.) My regular-journal persona, however, is unlikely to brag about my personal conquests and achievements. That persona fears that boasting will make me appear conceited.
Bragging should feature prominently here at womanly_arts. I believe that the concept is so alien to most women that some examples might be in order:
I must be on my game; I inspired my husband to bring me flowers.
NOT
My wonderful husband brought me flowers even though I didn't do anything to deserve them.
I looked fantastic when I went out ... and my girlfriends are gorgeous too.
NOT
I thought I looked pretty good when I went out ... even though my girlfriends are thinner than me.
I built a bookcase today.
NOT
I tried to build a bookcase today. It's a little crooked but I think it's serviceable.
Last night, I savored a dinner of lasagna, garlic bread and a nice wine. (It was clever of me to stop at the local Italian restaurant so I wouldn't have to cook.) After dinner, I took my glass of wine along as I relaxed in a hot bath with jasmine-scented bath oil. When the water started to cool, I set my book aside and shaved my legs. I wrapped up in my favorite robe, slathered my legs with a luxurious lotion and slipped into a warm pair of socks. I padded out to the living room and popped a new romantic comedy into the DVD player. When the movie was over, I considered tending to some home-keeping but I decided that I'd rather turn in. I slept like a baby. I love having an evening to myself.
NOT
Last night, I didn't feel like cooking for myself so I picked up some fast food on the way home. I took a hot shower, shaved my legs and put some over-priced lotion on. I wrapped up in a ratty robe and curled up to watch a chick-flick. When the movie was over, even though I really should have spent some time cleaning the apartment, I just went to bed. I need a boyfriend.
Get it? Now try it. Post a brag to womanly_arts. It can be short and succinct or poetically long and dripping with sensory details. Each brag should be its own entry ... don't hide your accomplishment or experience in a comment to another entry.
When you read the brag of another woman, consider commenting. If you catch her using self-deprecatory language, tell her. If you've had a similar experience, tell her. If her post gave you a good idea, tell her. If you just think she sounds like a cool person, tell her. If you feel that her post is too self-indulgent or silly or twisted, keep your comment to yourself.