(no subject)
I was reading an aritcle about student motivation for my education class last night. It was interesting. One point is that, some of the things that we would think would help kids try harder don't work whent he kids have low confidence. When they think that effort is not correlated with success because they lack ability, they will avoid effort because it is better than trying really hard and failing. That is a very interesting point and is related to this post on my recent most favorite blog (sorry female science professor), where I learned about learned helplessness and thus, learned optimism, which is supposed to counteract the helplessness. I've been thinking that maybe this is my problem with motivation lately. I just can't get myself to care. On the one hand, I'm kind of tired of this project, it's not really that interesting and I've already been working on it for several years. On the other hand, I also am tired of trying and trying and never feeling like I'm really succeeding. I had an especially failure of a summer, really trying to get this data taken (which I'd already taken and was actually happy with my results, but my adviser wanted me to take it with a broader spectrum to get more information). I tried for months. Still haven't succeeded. For now I'm working on something else, but it's very disheartening to fail. I guess I just never got used to it and I always felt that if I really tried hard enough, I could do whatever I set my mind too. Now I know that is not necessarily true. It makes me sad.
But, the paper recommended for students with the above-mentioned problem that setting short-term goals and working on strategies is the best way to counteract this feeling. So I'm going to work on that again. I was doing good but then I fell out of the habit. Now I'm going to recommit myself. Baby steps.
Why do I bother telling my friends or family when I think they are making bad decisions for themselves? Why do I bother giving them information that I am privy to that they don't have which SHOULD sway their decision when they never act on it? I have had to have conversations like this with some friends and family recently. I really hate those kind of conversations. I don't like confrontations. I'd much rather talk about bunnies or the weather or whatever. The fact that I'm being confrontational-ish should be considered a BIG DEAL. People who know me should know that it is hard for me and thus should take what I say seriously. But no one ever does. I guess I keep doing it for me, because, I know if I didn't tell them, I would feel much worse when they end up hurt. This happened to me before, where I didn't give a good friend some information I had because I thought she already knew, and boy, did I regret it. So I will keep on with my freedom of information policy, despite the fact that it makes me uncomfortable and doesn't do a hint of good EVER. DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THEIR FRIENDS!!!!????????????? I'm doing it because I care, not because I like it. I don't want to see them hurt ever. Honestly, it doesn't help that much if my friends get hurt in the end if I told them the information and they ignored it. It doesn't make me feel any better, really, just not as guilty...although, I always wonder if I should be more insistent, but I don't want to alienate my friends either. This is always so hard. I hate watching people I care about make decisions I think are going to cause them pain. I guess I just don't think happiness is worth gamling over and me telling you that it is a bad idea, means it is a gamble.
But, on the other hand, I didn't listen to my friend when she told me a bad story about DJN because I didn't know the person who was the lead in the story at the time so I didn't take it seriously. So, if you ever want to warn me off of a bad decision, remind me of that story. Note to self, LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY, they care.