On days like today...

[womangirlchild]

...I just feel like banging my head hard against the wall, or smacking it into the computer monitor just because the pain would be a great distraction from the frustration, anger and hatred that I experience at times like these. I find myself wondering today if I really should be concerned about my well being, or if I just need to find a

Comments

[emilypuff]

Awww. Sorry I have no helpful advice. Being 14 and a boy is probably tough--hormones, changes, anger and frustration and feelings of powerlessness. Not to excuse him being a little jerk to you!

I'm sure it IS hard, since he can always come back with, "You're not my REAL mother" or something equally hurtful. Kids that age are so ego-centric I don't think they have much empathy for others, nor do they realize how much hurt they can inflict.

I know when I was that age, and for most of my childhood and young-adulthood, for that matter, I was sure my father hated me. We had a very poor relationship (and I will say that most of that was his fault, not mine, especially when I was a young child.) Now that I'm older, I realize that he did love me but there was other stuff going on.

I would wager your step-son has no idea that you love him. Not that it's your fault! Whatever is going on in his head, I'm sure some of it is him feeling unlovable, not loving himself, and taking it out on others.

I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. I guess just step back and maybe ignore him for a while (if you can). Divert your attention with something else. Four years can go by pretty fast!

[womangirlchild]

I'm sure it IS hard, since he can always come back with, "You're not my REAL mother" or something equally hurtful.

Luckily for me, this sentence has never been uttered, and because all parents involved have a good relationship, I'm counting on it not being said. I can only imagine how I'd want to responsd if he did say that...

I would wager your step-son has no idea that you love him

I tell him, but I admit it is occasionally rather than often. God point and it's something I can work on. thanks :)

-A

[emilypuff]

I didn't mean it to sound like I was chiding you! I think it's more about him and less about what you do. His feelings and perceptions are probably more powerful to him than anything you do or say. It's part of his adolescence.