well?
To everyone, I know this is more of the same old shit I have been talking to you all, save for one exception, but, I must continue to ramble. I guess the more I get angry, the more I get sad. I am trying very hard to organize my thoughts into a cohesive singular focus. I am too scared to hate her, but I do have every right. What if during this time she declares me the "one", and I hate her? What if I wait, being that I would marry her in a heartbeat, and she decide that I am not the one? She asked me what I wanted ten years from now. Well, being that I am dedicated to her, I may not get what I want in ten years, her. She says that she has done a lot of thinking about herself, and what she wants in a husband. But, only going on a year, and two weeks, before I had ralized what stupidity I had done to her, of actually being with each other, how can she say for sure that I am not the one for her. She was strong enough to put up with my stupididty, and after I vowed not to be stupid to her anymore, re-dedicate my life to her, wait for her, and not question our relationship, why am I now not the one? Why wait so long, when I told her before she left, that this would very well happen? There is so much for me to sort out, and I know this must be very tiring for all of you, my friends, and yes, even you Christine, to deal with. But, please have patience with me. This is such a dark time for the one formerly known as "The Chad". I am relying on you, my friends, to be at least some measurable ammount of comfort, Christine used to give me.
One another note. Geez, would anyone ever think of me going to a play? I know I am going because Travis and Megan are in it, but hell, it beats doing nothing on a Friday night. Besides, if they mess up, they both know that they are in for a razzing. Not too bad though...I respect them for it...They are the ones who are getting up in front of a audience...not me. HMMM. Idea. Wondering if I could do it? As long as there were no singing, maybe.
Talk to you guys later. Again, I am hurting, so please, bear with me. I may get over it, I may never. I may still yet take her back, if she comes back to me. This shit is rough.
One another note. Geez, would anyone ever think of me going to a play? I know I am going because Travis and Megan are in it, but hell, it beats doing nothing on a Friday night. Besides, if they mess up, they both know that they are in for a razzing. Not too bad though...I respect them for it...They are the ones who are getting up in front of a audience...not me. HMMM. Idea. Wondering if I could do it? As long as there were no singing, maybe.
Talk to you guys later. Again, I am hurting, so please, bear with me. I may get over it, I may never. I may still yet take her back, if she comes back to me. This shit is rough.