And visions of vibrating monkeys danced in their heads...
We had our family Christmas today and I had a good time! I explored new cheeses and there were many inappropriate laughs to be had!
For the past few years, we've dropped the buying-everybody-gifts thing since there are no little kids in the family anymore. Instead, we all get together and play dirty Santa.
This year, it involved a pillow neck massager shaped like a monkey.
You can guess where that went.
Fast.
Also included were 'man chocolates' and a 'box of meat'. I'll let you make those ones up for yourselves. I was unoriginal and bought batteries.
However earlier than that came the best laugh of the day.
Scene: My nephew Derrik is like...sixteen or seventeen now or something and they were opening stockings. My sister Pam (his aunt) had given him a giftcard he could use at the gas station and things like this, however Tina (his mother) did not know it. The scene plays out as follows:
Derrik: Ooh, goody *tears paper off a cleverly-disgusied crystal light box that the card was taped in* What is it?
Pam: :3 It's something every teenaged boy needs!
Tina: *gets this really big-eyed 'did she really get him what I thought she got him' momma look* >8C
Pam: 8(...what?....D8 NO!
Me: *no longer able to breathe*
>8I GAS CARD CAN PREVENT STD'S!
THE END.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!
For the past few years, we've dropped the buying-everybody-gifts thing since there are no little kids in the family anymore. Instead, we all get together and play dirty Santa.
This year, it involved a pillow neck massager shaped like a monkey.
You can guess where that went.
Fast.
Also included were 'man chocolates' and a 'box of meat'. I'll let you make those ones up for yourselves. I was unoriginal and bought batteries.
However earlier than that came the best laugh of the day.
Scene: My nephew Derrik is like...sixteen or seventeen now or something and they were opening stockings. My sister Pam (his aunt) had given him a giftcard he could use at the gas station and things like this, however Tina (his mother) did not know it. The scene plays out as follows:
Derrik: Ooh, goody *tears paper off a cleverly-disgusied crystal light box that the card was taped in* What is it?
Pam: :3 It's something every teenaged boy needs!
Tina: *gets this really big-eyed 'did she really get him what I thought she got him' momma look* >8C
Pam: 8(...what?....D8 NO!
Me: *no longer able to breathe*
>8I GAS CARD CAN PREVENT STD'S!
THE END.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!