Making Arrangements
Fortunately, the past few days seem to have been relatively more kind and tranquil than those I have seen in previous weeks. That's not to say they have been entirely without tedious incident. I didn't much need, for instance, being followed down the street by a man who could barely stand insisting I share the most amazing drugs he had in his possession. I was rather glad when he did eventually leave me along but it took a fair while of repeatedly stating of how I unfortunately needed to be on my way as he doggedly staggered down the street, leaning on my vaguely to stay upright whilst making various efforts at forming coherent sentences. I had vaguely begun to fear that he might continue to follow me all the way back to my flat, and I started worrying quite what I was to do to get on my way but as luck would have it he eventually gave up on his pursuit when I began making my way up hill, the effort of climbing proving more than my company might have been worth so eventually he let me go. It was a little while of sitting when I got back to my flat before I could return my brains to some more reasonable sense of order. I can only wonder what happened to him but assume he must eventually have gone back to wherever he came from on the return bus ticket he seemed to think he needed to show me. Really though he needs to work on his sales pitch. I mean if I've learned anything from my time at the shop it's that the hard sell is particularly unappealing and indeed even more so from someone who would seem incapable of standing on one spot for more than a few seconds. Heh, most of the time the kinds of drug dealers my long hair attracts are of a far more amenable disposition but I find it hard to imagine this man will have found many takers for whatever it may have been he was actually offering. It wasn't altogether perfectly clear to discern quite what he was going on about. Still, it wasn't exactly the sort of shake up I really required at the time (although in fairness, when would it be?) as I was then in the midst of making arrangements with the job centre to shift the date I was next due to sign on so as to make the space in my schedule to allow for travel down to Sheffield and the family gathering that has been arranged for step-mother's 60th birthday. Asking for stuffs from authority folks is an unnerving business at the best of times without the addition of random idiots.
Ah well, that was but a brief moment that hopefully won't have left any lasting impression on my subconscious. Heh, well I doubts I could be rendered much more socially nervous than I already am in any case. Of rather more note were my visits down to the job centre offices on my day off after I had somewhat belatedly realised that getting back on time that Monday would perhaps not prove the most particularly straightforward task. I suppose potentially it could have been manageable but it would have meant a decidedly early departure after the celebrations and of course the trains would have needed to be on time which is not something I would have a great deal of faith in happening. Anywho, arrangements were made at least after a first visit to make an appointment to see a man about the appointment which then gave me an hour or so free time to fill before I went back. On my return the business of moving my appointment from the Monday to the Tuesday proved relatively pointless with just a little form to fill in though it was interesting to watch the sensations of my nerves throughout the process which remained consistently on edge just in case at any point the man behind the desk chose to release the tigers. Heh, as it turned out of course the world chose to release its own somewhat addled tiger after the event, but it's something to wonder that I should feel such a tense puppy during a process which, if tedious, I knew not to be in any way really threatening. Still, I don't suppose any of this really teaches me anything I didn't already know about myself. Mayhap it's also not so abnormal to to have some sense of apprehension when it comes to any vaguely official sort of appointment, these days of course it is perhaps a not unimportant factor that I don't really have the clearest of perspectives on what most other people generally tend to feel in whatever situations they find themselves. I don't imagine many would enjoy a trip to the job centre or being accosted in the street but on the other hand I do still guess that my broader experiences of the world are yet not quite on the same level as the majority of folk I see passing by around me and find myself pondering quite what they might be pondering as they shuffle past me. What they're probably not doing is spending half their time wondering what everyone else around them is thinking but sadly I don't find my world quite so straightforward to just get on with. Someday though I hope I may yet actually feel that the things I think I want and should be doing are actually good things that I actually positively desire. So much of the things I think I have to do seem through some twisted reason to go against my nature, so living continues to be decidedly more effort than it need. Hm, I don't suppose my continued complaining is going to get me very far or change that depressing circumstance however so I shall shamble on and yet hopes that I may manufacture some positive change somewhere along the line.
Anywho, sorting out things with the job centre is sadly not the end of the awkward when it comes to my schedule as, having moved that appointment, it is now necessary to see if I can move the date for my next appointment in Scarborough for the mock interview. Funny perhaps how these things can't be worked out together but such is how the world is currently structured. Still, hopefully it shouldn't prove too traumatic to work all these kinks out but I suppose I shall see what sort of reply I may gets to my emails after the weekend. Then mayhap I can start looking at the event itself, a happy family celebration which of course I ought to look forward to and be entirely excited by and which naturally I find my nerves cringing away from and pulling me back to avoid. As I find myself thinking about it now I feels a whole bunch of awkward sensations tugging at me from within and I sense my detached brain watching these all jump around perfectly aware of them being unnecessary nonsense. Still it doesn't stop feeling uncomfortable and it's just a little depressing that it does. Ah well, I don't suppose there's really much more I can think to say on the subject right now that I haven't already in previous posts but hopefully anyways my schedule can be worked out ok and and I can yet has me an enjoyable little weekend ahead, staying with big sister and spending time with little nephews before we all goes for whatever entertainments have been arranged for the birthday bash. Doubtless things will looks and feel rather different when I'm there than they do from the current perspective my nervous system be inhabiting and hopefully those looks and feels will be pleasant ones. Still, speaking of family, I shall be shortly wandering round the corner myself to visit the other half of it as I am due to be fed mother's nourishing stew this evening. Hopefully my mother and her man will prove to be in amenable mood and that will turn out to be a reasonably reasonable time too. I seems to have found myself feeling a little stiff and fuzzy today but as things have been lately I find myself thinking I'd quite like to be holding on to as much of my strengths as I can for the doing of potential things, so hopefully the world isn't going to be throwing any more unnecessary shenanigans that may drain me any further. Well, I shall be finding out shortly I suppose but in the meanwhile is doubtless best I tries to thinks as possitively about that and all my other prospective prospects as I finds that I can manage.
In the meanwhile of course I will yet have the fun of the shop on Sunday though I'm thinking that should be a reasonable day I should be enjoying the company of our good manager and we has a bunch of work scheduled to do together. After spending a week struggling to herd my little flock of books into some reasonable shape that also fits in with the ridiculous new orders that have come down from head office, manager has apparently had words with her superior and managed to gain official approval to remove one row of shelving from the book department. I spent Friday sorting through the small selection of new stock we had come in and then clearing out the bottom shelf which actually allowed me to make those above it look reasonably full and pretty, but not without pretty much using up all the spare stock we had. It's not without something of a heavy heart that I finds myself somewhat reducing the capacity of my little book department but it would seem to be a sadly necessary task if we are going to have any hope of keeping up with new orders that no book should be on the shelves for more than two weeks, and yet keep everything looking reasonably attractive and presentable. Even so we still find ourselves pondering that may just have to forego following these new orders to the letter and, so long as no one else is looking, just have to be a little selectively judicious in quite what books we do allow to leave our tender care. Well, work on that will continue on Sunday and we shall see where we stands from there. Heh, it might seem though that voluntary work is something of my destiny since in my adventures outside of the real world in Guild Wars 2 I has been entertaining myself with elements of the new living story that they have begun introducing to the world. At the moment this has involved assisting streams of refugees escaping a threat in the mountains, the precise nature of which has yet to be revealed as the story unfolds and the game world evolves. Engaging in these various new in-game activites has however allowed my character to gain his first title which, coincidentally enough, is that of 'Volunteer'! Heh, surely the point of fantasy is doing stuffs you would never otherwise be able to do in the real world? As it is in both I find myself spending a good deal of my time on my own, struggling to acheive anything particularly significant or that I can actually feel some concrete value and satisfaction in. Oh, the irony. Ahem. Well, maybe yet I shall somehow manage to make the arrangements necessary to my world, and my brains, that I may be able to go about things in rather more reasonable manner. I'll keep trying anyways. For now though I suppose I must prepare to be off and around the corner for my feast of stew but in the meanwhile I hopes everyone out there be enjoying and enjoyable weekend and that the world be cooperative in whatever arrangements you all might be trying to make. I shares out all the best and sparkliest wishes I can for all that might wants to make use of them.
Ah well, that was but a brief moment that hopefully won't have left any lasting impression on my subconscious. Heh, well I doubts I could be rendered much more socially nervous than I already am in any case. Of rather more note were my visits down to the job centre offices on my day off after I had somewhat belatedly realised that getting back on time that Monday would perhaps not prove the most particularly straightforward task. I suppose potentially it could have been manageable but it would have meant a decidedly early departure after the celebrations and of course the trains would have needed to be on time which is not something I would have a great deal of faith in happening. Anywho, arrangements were made at least after a first visit to make an appointment to see a man about the appointment which then gave me an hour or so free time to fill before I went back. On my return the business of moving my appointment from the Monday to the Tuesday proved relatively pointless with just a little form to fill in though it was interesting to watch the sensations of my nerves throughout the process which remained consistently on edge just in case at any point the man behind the desk chose to release the tigers. Heh, as it turned out of course the world chose to release its own somewhat addled tiger after the event, but it's something to wonder that I should feel such a tense puppy during a process which, if tedious, I knew not to be in any way really threatening. Still, I don't suppose any of this really teaches me anything I didn't already know about myself. Mayhap it's also not so abnormal to to have some sense of apprehension when it comes to any vaguely official sort of appointment, these days of course it is perhaps a not unimportant factor that I don't really have the clearest of perspectives on what most other people generally tend to feel in whatever situations they find themselves. I don't imagine many would enjoy a trip to the job centre or being accosted in the street but on the other hand I do still guess that my broader experiences of the world are yet not quite on the same level as the majority of folk I see passing by around me and find myself pondering quite what they might be pondering as they shuffle past me. What they're probably not doing is spending half their time wondering what everyone else around them is thinking but sadly I don't find my world quite so straightforward to just get on with. Someday though I hope I may yet actually feel that the things I think I want and should be doing are actually good things that I actually positively desire. So much of the things I think I have to do seem through some twisted reason to go against my nature, so living continues to be decidedly more effort than it need. Hm, I don't suppose my continued complaining is going to get me very far or change that depressing circumstance however so I shall shamble on and yet hopes that I may manufacture some positive change somewhere along the line.
Anywho, sorting out things with the job centre is sadly not the end of the awkward when it comes to my schedule as, having moved that appointment, it is now necessary to see if I can move the date for my next appointment in Scarborough for the mock interview. Funny perhaps how these things can't be worked out together but such is how the world is currently structured. Still, hopefully it shouldn't prove too traumatic to work all these kinks out but I suppose I shall see what sort of reply I may gets to my emails after the weekend. Then mayhap I can start looking at the event itself, a happy family celebration which of course I ought to look forward to and be entirely excited by and which naturally I find my nerves cringing away from and pulling me back to avoid. As I find myself thinking about it now I feels a whole bunch of awkward sensations tugging at me from within and I sense my detached brain watching these all jump around perfectly aware of them being unnecessary nonsense. Still it doesn't stop feeling uncomfortable and it's just a little depressing that it does. Ah well, I don't suppose there's really much more I can think to say on the subject right now that I haven't already in previous posts but hopefully anyways my schedule can be worked out ok and and I can yet has me an enjoyable little weekend ahead, staying with big sister and spending time with little nephews before we all goes for whatever entertainments have been arranged for the birthday bash. Doubtless things will looks and feel rather different when I'm there than they do from the current perspective my nervous system be inhabiting and hopefully those looks and feels will be pleasant ones. Still, speaking of family, I shall be shortly wandering round the corner myself to visit the other half of it as I am due to be fed mother's nourishing stew this evening. Hopefully my mother and her man will prove to be in amenable mood and that will turn out to be a reasonably reasonable time too. I seems to have found myself feeling a little stiff and fuzzy today but as things have been lately I find myself thinking I'd quite like to be holding on to as much of my strengths as I can for the doing of potential things, so hopefully the world isn't going to be throwing any more unnecessary shenanigans that may drain me any further. Well, I shall be finding out shortly I suppose but in the meanwhile is doubtless best I tries to thinks as possitively about that and all my other prospective prospects as I finds that I can manage.
In the meanwhile of course I will yet have the fun of the shop on Sunday though I'm thinking that should be a reasonable day I should be enjoying the company of our good manager and we has a bunch of work scheduled to do together. After spending a week struggling to herd my little flock of books into some reasonable shape that also fits in with the ridiculous new orders that have come down from head office, manager has apparently had words with her superior and managed to gain official approval to remove one row of shelving from the book department. I spent Friday sorting through the small selection of new stock we had come in and then clearing out the bottom shelf which actually allowed me to make those above it look reasonably full and pretty, but not without pretty much using up all the spare stock we had. It's not without something of a heavy heart that I finds myself somewhat reducing the capacity of my little book department but it would seem to be a sadly necessary task if we are going to have any hope of keeping up with new orders that no book should be on the shelves for more than two weeks, and yet keep everything looking reasonably attractive and presentable. Even so we still find ourselves pondering that may just have to forego following these new orders to the letter and, so long as no one else is looking, just have to be a little selectively judicious in quite what books we do allow to leave our tender care. Well, work on that will continue on Sunday and we shall see where we stands from there. Heh, it might seem though that voluntary work is something of my destiny since in my adventures outside of the real world in Guild Wars 2 I has been entertaining myself with elements of the new living story that they have begun introducing to the world. At the moment this has involved assisting streams of refugees escaping a threat in the mountains, the precise nature of which has yet to be revealed as the story unfolds and the game world evolves. Engaging in these various new in-game activites has however allowed my character to gain his first title which, coincidentally enough, is that of 'Volunteer'! Heh, surely the point of fantasy is doing stuffs you would never otherwise be able to do in the real world? As it is in both I find myself spending a good deal of my time on my own, struggling to acheive anything particularly significant or that I can actually feel some concrete value and satisfaction in. Oh, the irony. Ahem. Well, maybe yet I shall somehow manage to make the arrangements necessary to my world, and my brains, that I may be able to go about things in rather more reasonable manner. I'll keep trying anyways. For now though I suppose I must prepare to be off and around the corner for my feast of stew but in the meanwhile I hopes everyone out there be enjoying and enjoyable weekend and that the world be cooperative in whatever arrangements you all might be trying to make. I shares out all the best and sparkliest wishes I can for all that might wants to make use of them.