Saying Goodbye to the Mountain
So I guess I must tell you about my weekend. It was magic..pure magic.
Saturday I woke to a dreary Korea day. My Korean friend picked me up and we headed out of town about twenty minutes. As we leave the city I am surrounded by the mountains..against the grey of the day they are emerald green..dark....beautiful. A gentle mist is rising from them..ghosts..of my past or maybe the illusions of the day. We go to a restaurant nestled in these mountains..we eat my favorite chicken dish..I walk by a beautiful stream.
We leave for coffee after at this beautiful art gallery. But beauty too is an illusion. There are various dogs chained up around the outside of the gallery. No food, no water...nothign. I see one..he is a Chow..his face is so swollen that he cannot see anymore. Then the next dog..I see he is so thin..they are all so thin. I feel angry..so angry...I want to love them. As I am giving one love I say to my Korean friend Please say something..she does..but they don't care. I am so angry. I sit down to give another love, as I pull six large fat ugly old woodticks off this poor thing...I begin to cry ..I feel my heart want to come out and lather itself upon this innocent creature..I understand it you know..I understand it.... My Korean friend says.. "Candice your heart is weak"...I say : " Weak? You think being open to seeing the Truth is weak? Then I think you are ridiculous." I am pissed..I don't speak to her for twenty minutes and tell her I am ready to go. I ask her to pull the car over: " This is the second time you've called me weak. I am tired of it," I say," You might think I should stay here and put up with the shit from my director, which is idiotic in my own eyes, or that seeing the truth behind that posh snotty gallery and having it really sink in to me is weak..but I think it is strong..It is strong for me to leave...and it is strong of me to accept the Truths I see..." She replies hasitly about not speaking English well..I reply..in a low voice.."Bullshit. You may not know all English..but you know what weak means and you CHOSE to use it" She agrees..." I tell her that she is welcome to her opinion of me and my life, but that I would rather that from now on she kept it to herself." I hug her tightly and she cries a little telling me her heart is the same as mine. I state:" Then I think you are strong and this may be where the two of us will always disagree"
Later that night I celebrated my friend Sarah's b-day....only dinner, the monontany of drinking is tiresome to me.
Early Sunday I head to the mountain. As I sit viewing from the peak for one last time a Korean woman approaches me and wants to accompany me to where ever on this earth I might be going..it seems to me anyway. I say okay I'm going to visit the temple.
As approach the temple..my husband comes and greets me. He is so happy and wants to kiss me..I decline for now. The female monk comes out she is so happy to see me too..and of course I am in love with her so seeing her clears my chest a little. I hand her a pin from Canada..cheezy I know..haha...She smiles...Barum wants attention from me so I give it. The Korean woman I brought translates for me that I am leaving for Canada soon. The monk says wait a minute. She returns with a beautiful bracelet. I am astounded. She tells the Korean She feels she is losing an old friend and that my connection with Barum is strong and true. I thank her and tell her I feel the same. We enjoy the sweetest watermelon I have ever tasted. Barum will not drink from his water bowl. He approaches my bag..he tips it over..he knows.. I take the water bottle out and begin to pour, as I have done so many times now..and he drinks from my hand..again and again we drink together..he suddenly kisses me...I smile and hug him tightly. I am crying..I am saying goodbye to these two special beings. The monk shouts; "See you again" I wonder this life or the next?
I return home, shower and join my friend Sarah in a traditional teahouse. I enjoy gorgeous tea, persimmon, and talk about life my favorite subject really.
I realize my heart is sometimes to big for this world. It is for that reason it is time to learn to cherish and protect it. It is my vow.