A hail to agony.
I am a strange animal. I have thoughts in my head. Some things seem funny to me, I like the way an orgasm feels, and when prodded by hunger I drool and try to devour things. I think humanity is so taken with it's own romanticized notion of what constitutes 'being human' that it doesn't typically percolate to mass consciousness just what,... strange,.. creatures humans are.
When someone points accusingly and squeals in a desperate tone. “It isn't human!” everyone around them gasps and draws back a pace. If there is a surly demagogue within ear shot then the pitchforks and torches get pulled out. (trust me on this one its an ugly sight) You can see this at work in propaganda when Washington wants Americans to murder one group of foreign nationals or another.
At the other end of the spectrum there is this cherished concept of 'Humanity' as a virtue all its own. Its spoken in that same tone of angels floating around on cloud serenely. Crimes against humanity are a class of social behavior deemed so in violation of the basic tenants of thinking mortal creatures to be abhorrent in a manner that requires show trial executions and media coverage for the whole planet to see. (well,.. not the execution itself,.. just the fanfare at the gates and anyone who happens to sneak a cell phone in) Those bastards should have known better just by possessing a human perspective themselves to not have used mass starvation / chemical / biological / radiation / robotics to decimate civilian populations. And thus they must be made to pay!
But what even defines humanity? Looking at history through the ages it doesn't seem to be quite the same thing popularly held to be pseudo sacred by modern conventions. Our ancestors were bloody handed bastards who left a wake of atrocity behind the progress of their culture. You can paint pretty pictures over the function of a sword,.. but its primary purpose is that when called upon to do so its a device that renders people into flinchy gobbets of steaming unhappiness.
That makes sense to me. I could see how one group of people with swords could convince another group without swords to follow the same invisible man in the sky, great rulers back home, or to hand over the valuables. I don't really want to die a painful death,.. and thus tend to have that factor into my decision making. I think anyone who has ever gotten a decent taste of agony knows at a bone deep level to avoid it.
It's a truth that amid all the psychological acrobatics common sense seems to involve, stands out as distinctly genuine. In my own personal answer to the question of what constitutes humanity,.. that would factor into it considerably. Agony is a pretty good teacher,.. and if we claim any kind of intelligence,.. applied thought process to strategically avoid injury is a pretty useful survival trait.
The other side of Agony is bliss though and here in I think my own perspective begins to substantially divulge from the herd. I think bliss is not the same thing as pleasure,.. though pleasure can certainly bring about a bliss state. I think the opposite of pain is comfort,.. feeling in the moment with no pressure to react to changes or be concerned with anything. I think meditation is also a form of bliss (this is speculation however,.. still unsure what exactly other people do in their heads when they are 'meditating')
So,.. my whole wide meandering point was to share my basic views of what I think motivates the strange creatures we are. If I look at humans as a set of trained behaviors and instinctual programming then I can see myself as having been crafted much more by Agony than bliss. Whether emotional or physical when I experience it I pay close attention to my thoughts and surroundings, my thinking kicks in, and I learn about who I am.
The single instance of greatest Agony that comes to mind was being BETRAYED by a friend I named Melek. No other event in my life changed how I interacted with other people both known to me and strangers. It hurt worse than kidney stones,.. it hurt worse than having my eye lid torn in half, it hurt worse than landing on a bicycle seat wrong, it hurt more than my step dad trying to rape my sister, it hurt more than Sheeeba dying,.. it hurt worse than killing Harrrly, It hurt worse than being someones abandoned dog. It hurt so much that an echo of it is always in my thoughts.
While I am averse to Agony,.. pain I actually kind of like. I live a rough and tumble life. I get nicked, bruised, cut, clawed, banged, bitten, bonked, and burned on a semi regular basis. It just happens in the normal course of doing stuff and having rowdy dogs. I think in part what a person is able to tolerate and why, and what utterly and totally a person cannot abide. So while I dread you friend Agony,.. I do recognize your influence in how I see the world,.. and who I am to people.
When someone points accusingly and squeals in a desperate tone. “It isn't human!” everyone around them gasps and draws back a pace. If there is a surly demagogue within ear shot then the pitchforks and torches get pulled out. (trust me on this one its an ugly sight) You can see this at work in propaganda when Washington wants Americans to murder one group of foreign nationals or another.
At the other end of the spectrum there is this cherished concept of 'Humanity' as a virtue all its own. Its spoken in that same tone of angels floating around on cloud serenely. Crimes against humanity are a class of social behavior deemed so in violation of the basic tenants of thinking mortal creatures to be abhorrent in a manner that requires show trial executions and media coverage for the whole planet to see. (well,.. not the execution itself,.. just the fanfare at the gates and anyone who happens to sneak a cell phone in) Those bastards should have known better just by possessing a human perspective themselves to not have used mass starvation / chemical / biological / radiation / robotics to decimate civilian populations. And thus they must be made to pay!
But what even defines humanity? Looking at history through the ages it doesn't seem to be quite the same thing popularly held to be pseudo sacred by modern conventions. Our ancestors were bloody handed bastards who left a wake of atrocity behind the progress of their culture. You can paint pretty pictures over the function of a sword,.. but its primary purpose is that when called upon to do so its a device that renders people into flinchy gobbets of steaming unhappiness.
That makes sense to me. I could see how one group of people with swords could convince another group without swords to follow the same invisible man in the sky, great rulers back home, or to hand over the valuables. I don't really want to die a painful death,.. and thus tend to have that factor into my decision making. I think anyone who has ever gotten a decent taste of agony knows at a bone deep level to avoid it.
It's a truth that amid all the psychological acrobatics common sense seems to involve, stands out as distinctly genuine. In my own personal answer to the question of what constitutes humanity,.. that would factor into it considerably. Agony is a pretty good teacher,.. and if we claim any kind of intelligence,.. applied thought process to strategically avoid injury is a pretty useful survival trait.
The other side of Agony is bliss though and here in I think my own perspective begins to substantially divulge from the herd. I think bliss is not the same thing as pleasure,.. though pleasure can certainly bring about a bliss state. I think the opposite of pain is comfort,.. feeling in the moment with no pressure to react to changes or be concerned with anything. I think meditation is also a form of bliss (this is speculation however,.. still unsure what exactly other people do in their heads when they are 'meditating')
So,.. my whole wide meandering point was to share my basic views of what I think motivates the strange creatures we are. If I look at humans as a set of trained behaviors and instinctual programming then I can see myself as having been crafted much more by Agony than bliss. Whether emotional or physical when I experience it I pay close attention to my thoughts and surroundings, my thinking kicks in, and I learn about who I am.
The single instance of greatest Agony that comes to mind was being BETRAYED by a friend I named Melek. No other event in my life changed how I interacted with other people both known to me and strangers. It hurt worse than kidney stones,.. it hurt worse than having my eye lid torn in half, it hurt worse than landing on a bicycle seat wrong, it hurt more than my step dad trying to rape my sister, it hurt more than Sheeeba dying,.. it hurt worse than killing Harrrly, It hurt worse than being someones abandoned dog. It hurt so much that an echo of it is always in my thoughts.
While I am averse to Agony,.. pain I actually kind of like. I live a rough and tumble life. I get nicked, bruised, cut, clawed, banged, bitten, bonked, and burned on a semi regular basis. It just happens in the normal course of doing stuff and having rowdy dogs. I think in part what a person is able to tolerate and why, and what utterly and totally a person cannot abide. So while I dread you friend Agony,.. I do recognize your influence in how I see the world,.. and who I am to people.