What constitutes a friendship...
A year ago this month I had a row with my friend of ten years at the time I was really angry with her but in a couple of days I relented realised I had been unfair on her and sort her forgiveness. However she wouldn't talk to me she just totally ignored me no matter how I tried to sort things out, this infuriated me we are two adult women why couldn't we talk things out and sort the matter, but no she wouldn't talk to me. I got more annoyed the more she ignored me and emailed and texted things I didn't mean because I was so frustrated by her refusal to communicate with me in any way.
Finally she did contact me and she told me the only way she wanted me as a friend was that if I didn't email or phone or text her without her first contacting me her reason being I expected too much of her she didn't want to answer emails, she didn't want to answer texts etc if she didn't feel like it. I was so contrite about my behaviour I agreed to this and waited till she contacted me. Nothing, she didn't contact me, finally I sent her an email basically for her to confirm the fact that we were no longer friends. She replied finally saying that she didn't want me out of her life but unless I could accept that she was not going to keep in touch unless she felt like it then she couldn't be friends with me.
I am left wondering what constitutes a friendship? Am I mad in expecting someone to reply to an email or text within a reasonable amount of time, especially if you have asked how are you? in said email or text. I am really stupid apparently because I thought it was normal that we would Skype once a week, given she was in the USA and I was in the UK. But apparently friends don't do that even when said friends have traveled all over the world together been to one another's house and at one point so called friend was spending most weekends living at my house when she was working in Prague because she was lonely. Oh and the other thing I did wrong was offer her a home when it looked like she was going to be homeless (all at my expense)
So Iam at loss what is a friendship exactly, what is it made of, because the examples I have seen in my life don't run along the lines that my ex-friend things a friendship should run along.
The sad thing in all this is that if I look at it honestly I was used for ten years for cheap holidays etc that in truth she was never my friend and I was just too stupid to see her for what she is someone who uses someone and gives little to nothing in return.
Finally she did contact me and she told me the only way she wanted me as a friend was that if I didn't email or phone or text her without her first contacting me her reason being I expected too much of her she didn't want to answer emails, she didn't want to answer texts etc if she didn't feel like it. I was so contrite about my behaviour I agreed to this and waited till she contacted me. Nothing, she didn't contact me, finally I sent her an email basically for her to confirm the fact that we were no longer friends. She replied finally saying that she didn't want me out of her life but unless I could accept that she was not going to keep in touch unless she felt like it then she couldn't be friends with me.
I am left wondering what constitutes a friendship? Am I mad in expecting someone to reply to an email or text within a reasonable amount of time, especially if you have asked how are you? in said email or text. I am really stupid apparently because I thought it was normal that we would Skype once a week, given she was in the USA and I was in the UK. But apparently friends don't do that even when said friends have traveled all over the world together been to one another's house and at one point so called friend was spending most weekends living at my house when she was working in Prague because she was lonely. Oh and the other thing I did wrong was offer her a home when it looked like she was going to be homeless (all at my expense)
So Iam at loss what is a friendship exactly, what is it made of, because the examples I have seen in my life don't run along the lines that my ex-friend things a friendship should run along.
The sad thing in all this is that if I look at it honestly I was used for ten years for cheap holidays etc that in truth she was never my friend and I was just too stupid to see her for what she is someone who uses someone and gives little to nothing in return.