I don't remember being told that it would be like this, but quite honestly, I don't remember hardly anything from about ninth grade to eleventh, maybe even twelfth, grade. My memories are still hazy even after I had the surgery, but I do remember asking about it. Dr. HouseDetweiler said it made sense that it caused me a lot of pain; he said that having a tube forcibly shoved from my brain to stomach was bound to cause it, but there was not much that could be done about it. It's harsh, but at least he was honest about it. As for getting an appointment, I don't have insurance, and the Indian hospitals--well, an appointment to a neurosurgeon who is the only person who knows what is up with shunts in adults, as it is apparently a rare thing since it is usually a common surgery only among infants with hydrocephalus, is a high-tier doctor's visit that they cannot provide. I would have to get a referral, a follow-up, another referral, another follow-up, and then, if I was extraordinarily lucky, they would have the funds to let me visit my neurosurgeon. I was going to bring all this crap up at my not-in-my-birth-month-like-those-liars-claimed-it-would-be diabetic yearly appointment, but, well, yeah. That's not happening as that is tomorrow, and I still cannot escape our house. I am still attempting to reschedule that, though, so here's hoping I can bring it up eventually. :|
Why do you feel selfish for that? I think your posts are anything but melodramatic. I think they are as equally necessary as this post was for me. Venting is a good thing, even if it is just to a journal. I just do it this way because it's hard to talk to my mom, and my dad is out of the question. He just doesn't understand my issues with my shunt, although he tries. Sometimes I want to talk to you about stuff like this, but it's kind of hard bringing up such a topic; it's one of those "it's not you, it's me" things, haha. Aside from that, it's a constant in my life; after a while, I just get irritated with it to the point when I need to vent. When I have trouble with my shunt because of the weather, I also get super irritable and emotional--a complete one-eighty from my normal personality, or so I've been told by Mom. It's apparently a common reaction when a shunt acts up; I actually learned quite a bit about shunts in my Intro to Educating Exceptional Children class a few semesters back. That being said, there's nothing to forgive. You didn't do anything wrong. ♥ Just, if I ever seem to space out around you, I'm probably not feeling too hot because of my shunt, even if I inadvertently lie and try to pass it off as something else. If I do that, please don't take offense. It's more force of habit than anything else. >_>;;
Motivation is a necessity. I feel like I'm on winter break. Thus, I keep procrastinating. D: Help with my van would be appreciated, but I don't want to ask for it. I can take care of it, honestly, but it would put me in a financial bind, and I would once again have no money to make it through the semester with--like the situation last semester. I can't do that again; that much stress is really not good for my blood pressure, blood sugar, or shunt. XD;; Ugh. Mom and Dad are going to let me use their car for a while until my OTAG comes in, and we're going to see if maybe we can work something out with Travis. I mean, if I could pay half of the bill this semester and half next, that would be doable, but I don't know if he would go for it. The necessary parts for my van total about $250, but it's the amount of work any mechanic has to put in that costs. I was told it takes three to four hours for part installation, and that, quite frankly, just sucks for a college student's bank account. :x
The papers are only supposed to be two pages each. I'm having trouble writing them, though, because they are not enough of a challenge; if they were papers for Dr. Enright, I would definitely have them written by now, but he was an awesome teacher and challenged me by making the minimum six or seven pages for a paper. Papers of 300-500 words I can write in thirty minutes or less. No challenge provided, no motivation necessary--procrastination runs wild. :/
As for SAFE, it stands for Student Advocates For Equality, but honestly, I just see SAFE as the rape crisis program from Help-in-Crisis. I'm not the only one, either. I mean, I tried to reason with everyone involved in the name change that "SAFE" not only gets rid of the basis of YAG ("equality" groups in Tahlequah generally don't include equality in sexual orientation, from what I've noticed), but well, it has negative connotations to anyone with any knowledge of Help-in-Crisis, which is most of the people in Tahlequah. No one listens to me, though, so I'm not surprised they didn't heed my arguments. It's to the point where I've given up on it. I just don't care. I'm the treasurer for SAFE, but I don't consider myself a part of the group any longer. *stubborn* :/
How frequently I add to my deviantART account depends on how much free/procrastination time I find for myself. Even then, I will probably be switching back and forth between writing and drawing. I miss writing, honestly. I nearly have another chapter of that one story o' mine written, although it's not chapter two. >_>;; Fail.
♥ I love you, too, Sarah. I always will.
Also, I exceeded the LJ comment character limit with this response. What. D:
Why do you feel selfish for that? I think your posts are anything but melodramatic. I think they are as equally necessary as this post was for me. Venting is a good thing, even if it is just to a journal. I just do it this way because it's hard to talk to my mom, and my dad is out of the question. He just doesn't understand my issues with my shunt, although he tries. Sometimes I want to talk to you about stuff like this, but it's kind of hard bringing up such a topic; it's one of those "it's not you, it's me" things, haha. Aside from that, it's a constant in my life; after a while, I just get irritated with it to the point when I need to vent. When I have trouble with my shunt because of the weather, I also get super irritable and emotional--a complete one-eighty from my normal personality, or so I've been told by Mom. It's apparently a common reaction when a shunt acts up; I actually learned quite a bit about shunts in my Intro to Educating Exceptional Children class a few semesters back. That being said, there's nothing to forgive. You didn't do anything wrong. ♥ Just, if I ever seem to space out around you, I'm probably not feeling too hot because of my shunt, even if I inadvertently lie and try to pass it off as something else. If I do that, please don't take offense. It's more force of habit than anything else. >_>;;
Motivation is a necessity. I feel like I'm on winter break. Thus, I keep procrastinating. D: Help with my van would be appreciated, but I don't want to ask for it. I can take care of it, honestly, but it would put me in a financial bind, and I would once again have no money to make it through the semester with--like the situation last semester. I can't do that again; that much stress is really not good for my blood pressure, blood sugar, or shunt. XD;; Ugh. Mom and Dad are going to let me use their car for a while until my OTAG comes in, and we're going to see if maybe we can work something out with Travis. I mean, if I could pay half of the bill this semester and half next, that would be doable, but I don't know if he would go for it. The necessary parts for my van total about $250, but it's the amount of work any mechanic has to put in that costs. I was told it takes three to four hours for part installation, and that, quite frankly, just sucks for a college student's bank account. :x
The papers are only supposed to be two pages each. I'm having trouble writing them, though, because they are not enough of a challenge; if they were papers for Dr. Enright, I would definitely have them written by now, but he was an awesome teacher and challenged me by making the minimum six or seven pages for a paper. Papers of 300-500 words I can write in thirty minutes or less. No challenge provided, no motivation necessary--procrastination runs wild. :/
Reply
How frequently I add to my deviantART account depends on how much free/procrastination time I find for myself. Even then, I will probably be switching back and forth between writing and drawing. I miss writing, honestly. I nearly have another chapter of that one story o' mine written, although it's not chapter two. >_>;; Fail.
♥ I love you, too, Sarah. I always will.
Also, I exceeded the LJ comment character limit with this response. What. D:
Reply
Leave a comment