(no subject)
Dear spider,
I am not an arachnaphobe. When I saw you crawling on the overhead light's chains last night I did not kill you because hey you weren't bothering me so why should I bother you? Plus, you eat other bugs like the house centipedes that definitely do creep my out big time.
So how do you repay me?
By crawling all over my blankets and me and my laptop while I lie in bed with the lights off and FREAKING BITING ME.
Actually the order was crawling on my blankets, biting me then crawling on my computer which is when I saw you and realized what that little sharp pain on my leg had been.
At which point I yelled, flailed, turned on the light and blew you off the top of my laptop because I did not want to touch you and wanted you OFF OF MY COMPUTER NOW OKAY THANKS.
Which may have been a mistake because I quickly lost track of you on the carpet. I then went and got my cat and plopped her down at the approximate spot I last saw you (because hey, predator and another pair of eyes), but she is the worst hunter ever so I don't know if you made yourself scarce or she just couldn't find you.
I was about five minutes away from turning off my laptop and going to sleep. Now I am WIDE AWAKE with the LIGHTS ON because I need to be able to verify that there is NOTHING CRAWLING ON ME.
If you know what's good for you spider you will STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME because if I see you again I WILL SQUISH YOU FLAT.
No love,
Me
Seriously, I usually go out of my way not to kill spiders because I feel guilty when I do, but this one has crossed a line with the biting.
...and I bet I'm not even going to get any cool spider powers out of it.
I am not an arachnaphobe. When I saw you crawling on the overhead light's chains last night I did not kill you because hey you weren't bothering me so why should I bother you? Plus, you eat other bugs like the house centipedes that definitely do creep my out big time.
So how do you repay me?
By crawling all over my blankets and me and my laptop while I lie in bed with the lights off and FREAKING BITING ME.
Actually the order was crawling on my blankets, biting me then crawling on my computer which is when I saw you and realized what that little sharp pain on my leg had been.
At which point I yelled, flailed, turned on the light and blew you off the top of my laptop because I did not want to touch you and wanted you OFF OF MY COMPUTER NOW OKAY THANKS.
Which may have been a mistake because I quickly lost track of you on the carpet. I then went and got my cat and plopped her down at the approximate spot I last saw you (because hey, predator and another pair of eyes), but she is the worst hunter ever so I don't know if you made yourself scarce or she just couldn't find you.
I was about five minutes away from turning off my laptop and going to sleep. Now I am WIDE AWAKE with the LIGHTS ON because I need to be able to verify that there is NOTHING CRAWLING ON ME.
If you know what's good for you spider you will STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME because if I see you again I WILL SQUISH YOU FLAT.
No love,
Me
Seriously, I usually go out of my way not to kill spiders because I feel guilty when I do, but this one has crossed a line with the biting.
...and I bet I'm not even going to get any cool spider powers out of it.