Full Stop.
So theferrett linked to this comic the other day, and I thought it was really beautiful, because it talks about a post-breakup outcome that doesn't seem to ever really be acknowledged. For those of you who don't want to click through, it starts out: "I know we haven't seen each other, or even really talked, in a long time... but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I want you to know that I miss you. Not like, "I regret what happened," or even, "I want to see you again." Just... "I miss you." Full stop."
I like it so much because usually you only see two acceptable reactions to a breakup, once the initial shock and sorrow have passed: either you regret the break-up and want to get back together, or the other person is a villain, to be hated and scorned.
Does that idea come from the whole "omnia vincet amor" catch phrase? Don't forget, that phrase was passed down to us from Virgil, who also wrote a famous story about a prince who stole a queen for love and got the heck conquered out of himself for his troubles. Love sure doesn't conquer them Greeks.
Really, love doesn't conquer anything, it just gives you some motivation, some wiggle room, extra tolerance and forgiveness. Which are vital to a relationship. But two people can love each other, and not be able to "conquer all" because they just want different things you of life. And getting what you want out of life is important.
In the "love conquers all" outlook, there's not a whole lot of room for missing someone but not wanting something from them. If you miss them, you must have made a mistake with the breakup. You must want them back. And how many of those incredibly painful yo-yo relationships have happened because of that?
But it's totally possible to miss someone and be OK with that. To wish them well. To think of them now and then, and to still think they're awesome, even if they're not in your life. To be grateful that they were in your life for a while, and for the way that the positive ways that being with them changed you still ripple down today.
It's hard to even find the language to express that, since that reality is so rarely articulated. Until you stumble across a random comic one day, and just feel happy.
I like it so much because usually you only see two acceptable reactions to a breakup, once the initial shock and sorrow have passed: either you regret the break-up and want to get back together, or the other person is a villain, to be hated and scorned.
Does that idea come from the whole "omnia vincet amor" catch phrase? Don't forget, that phrase was passed down to us from Virgil, who also wrote a famous story about a prince who stole a queen for love and got the heck conquered out of himself for his troubles. Love sure doesn't conquer them Greeks.
Really, love doesn't conquer anything, it just gives you some motivation, some wiggle room, extra tolerance and forgiveness. Which are vital to a relationship. But two people can love each other, and not be able to "conquer all" because they just want different things you of life. And getting what you want out of life is important.
In the "love conquers all" outlook, there's not a whole lot of room for missing someone but not wanting something from them. If you miss them, you must have made a mistake with the breakup. You must want them back. And how many of those incredibly painful yo-yo relationships have happened because of that?
But it's totally possible to miss someone and be OK with that. To wish them well. To think of them now and then, and to still think they're awesome, even if they're not in your life. To be grateful that they were in your life for a while, and for the way that the positive ways that being with them changed you still ripple down today.
It's hard to even find the language to express that, since that reality is so rarely articulated. Until you stumble across a random comic one day, and just feel happy.