fic: Mystery Spot Misunderstanding - 5/? PG-13
Title: Mystery Spot Misunderstanding
Author: wolfish_willow
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13 this part, NC-17 overall
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Spoilers: Anything up to and including 5.14
Warnings: angsty/confused!Sam, confused!Dean (what? That's totally a warning)
Word Count: 2400 or so
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just using them for a bit of fun. They belong to Kripke.
Summary: Gabriel goes all angsty, and Sam suffers for it. (AU from 5.14 - so all episodes after My Bloody Valentine are being totally and utterly disregarded. *nodnod*)
Chapter Summary: Sam thinks about what's been going on with him...
A/N 1: beta'd by ladyeternal Thanks so much, bb! Any remaining mistakes are my own.
A/N 2: Would have finished the editing and posted when I got this back from my beta, but I only just finished part 8, like, an hour ago. I'll be working on part 9 this week. So hopefully I'll be posting again sometime next week. *hugs*
Masterpost
Sam was more than ready to just sink into the lumpy mattress of the motel they were using this week. After that hunt he felt even more on edge. How could a pair of ghosts read him well enough to know something was wrong? He knew he wasn’t masking his issues as well as he’d wanted to, but it was a little difficult to act normal in waking life when you weren’t sure if it was the Devil messing with your head in your sleep or your former Trickster ex-boyfriend who thinks you’re pathetic. So, sure he’d been a little shaky and nervous - that was just his body’s way of reacting to very little restful sleep. But the spirits seemed as though they’d figured it all out with just one look. And what was he supposed to do with that?
He shook his head as the Impala kept up its steady rumbling on the drive to their motel. Dean hadn’t said anything about his change in behavior so far, even though Sam could tell that his silence was annoying his brother. Dean may not be very talkative over emotions, but he wasn’t one for quiet on multi-hour drives across the country. Even when their relationship had been rocky, Dean liked to talk about random topics just to pass the time. Unfortunately, Sam just hadn’t been up for much talking unless it was about whatever case they were looking into. If he started talking, he was afraid he’d let slip what was going on, and he really didn’t need to bother Dean with more of his crap. His brother put up with enough from him as it was. And it wasn’t like there was anything Dean could do about Gabriel breaking up with his little brother. Or about the strange nightmares that had been going on since. If Sam couldn’t figure out if they were real when he was the one experiencing them, how could he expect Dean to do any different?
So he tried to push all of his problems aside, brush them off. It wasn’t working very well, but he hoped since Dean wasn’t saying anything, maybe it was enough for his brother to pass off as ‘brooding’ or however Dean loved to describe his behavior. But the ghosts had seen right through him; the woman had even put her hand on his shoulder. It had been almost comforting, in a way, to have someone care enough to show that bit of reassurance, but it also brought forward everything he’d been trying to push back - his memories of every night since Gabriel broke up with him.
Before, he would have just gone to Gabriel when something was bothering him, weighing on him this much. But with that no longer being an option, it felt nice to have someone notice him; pay him attention without hurting him or putting him down (and without being the devil). The whole situation just made his head hurt. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window beside him and closed his eyes.
Sam took another step back when Lucifer started towards him. He was in a nightmare, that much was clear - and really, it was a relief, because that meant that maybe it wasn’t actually Gabriel who was hurting him before. His mind couldn’t wrap around everything; he wasn’t sure what was going on. Everything felt off and he didn’t know what to make of what had just happened.
What Sam was sure of was that Gabriel had broken up with him - didn’t want to have to put up with someone like Sam, who was just a screw-up that never listened, never learned. Why did he think things would be any different with Gabriel, really? When had things ever gone the way Sam wanted them to go? Never. Everything ended - and not just ended, but ended miserably.
Sam paced back and forth slowly as he thought about how he could fix this. Fix everything. He would have kept pacing right until he woke up had Lucifer not stood in front of him, reminding Sam of his presence. And really? Things weren’t bad enough in his waking life? Now somehow Lucifer had found a way back into his head, too? It was just one more thing to remind him of how horrible he really was.
Sam was just so tired of messing things up, tired of people leaving him and hurting him, just tired. He ignored the devil in front of him and found a wall in his dreamscape - that looked like pretty much every motel the Winchesters had ever stayed in - and leaned back into it, sliding to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his legs and laid his forehead against his knees. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, Sam hoped to be able to just ignore the devil - he snorted a laugh at himself with that thought - and just rest after his encounter with Gabriel. Because he really needed to rest, he wasn’t sure how much longer his body and mind could take all the stress.
He meant to move away from the fingers that started softly carding through his hair, he really did. But his body was exhausted and Sam couldn’t deny that it felt good to have someone soothe away the soreness of his scalp left from Gabriel’s tight grip. Instead of pulling away, he found himself leaning into the fingers that slowly slid down his head to rest gently, a welcome weight at his neck.
Then everything started coming back to him. Sam wasn’t sure why it took him so long to get over the disorientation he felt after Lucifer got Gabriel to let him go, but it did. Every night so far, even though he knew before he went to sleep where his mind would end up, he still reacted like he had the first night. Only now, Sam didn’t push Lucifer away and avoid him until he finally woke up. It just wasn’t worth the effort. Unfortunately, it all served to further confuse Sam, especially when he started pushing back against Lucifer’s hand at his neck or in his hair. Apparently his body was so starved of physical contact, the kind that didn’t hurt, that he was willing to take it even if it came from the devil.
He wanted to believe more than anything that this was all some trick of Lucifer’s to get him to say ‘yes’. But the devil never said more than a few murmured words of comfort into his ear while Sam stayed curled into himself against the wall. Nothing made sense when he was here. He knew he needed to get as far from Lucifer as possible, he really did know that. And he knew that it had to be some sort of trick. But how Gabriel kept ripping at him, spouting out how pathetic Sam was, how he was worth so little? How Gabriel mocked Sam’s desire to have been marked by the archangel? Well, all that made it harder and harder to believe that it wasn’t Gabriel doing all of this to him. Made it harder to believe that Lucifer wasn't chasing Gabriel off, protecting Sam. And okay, that was weird. Didn’t it used to be the other way around?
Eventually it all became too much and Sam yanked his head out of Lucifer's grasp, once more convincing himself that it had to be a trick. And even if Gabriel was in on it, he couldn't let himself be comforted by Lucifer. No matter how much more disturbingly tempting it was becoming after each night of torment. And it was tempting, to have someone caring, someone to go to when everything got to be too much for him once again. Then, just when he feared he might give in to that horrible need for comfort, feared that he might not be able to wake up this time, just like he'd feared every night, he woke with a start...
It didn’t take them long to get to the motel after Sam closed his eyes. When he opened them and saw the neon sign blinking he couldn’t help but be relieved, even if the light did aggravate his headache some. But they were finally parked in front of their room and he could go and burrow into the old mattress. At this point, he wasn’t even nervous about whatever nightmares he might have to face, he just needed sleep. Sam had to try and act normal at breakfast that morning with Gabriel sitting right next to him. And on top of dealing with compassionate ghosts who freaked him out, the archangel had decided to ‘tag along’.
After being watched by the angel the whole time he worked with Dean, he was pretty much ready to believe, as much as the idea hurt, that maybe it was Gabriel messing with him every night. He’d been holding out, convincing himself that maybe Lucifer broke past the defenses Gabriel had set up, was trying to mess with his head by trying to comfort him every night after Gabriel hurt him. But if that were the case, then wouldn’t Gabriel have had to lower the defenses himself somehow? The thought alone made him shiver.
Thankfully, Dean had already made his way to the motel room and didn’t notice. Sam shook himself. He only needed to act like he wasn’t freaking out for a couple more minutes. Just long enough for him and Dean to get ready for bed. Then he’d be able to sink into his bed and try to have a peaceful sleep.
***
The silence on the drive back to their motel bothered Dean more than he cared to admit. Sam was locked somewhere in his head again - Dean had learned earlier in the week that trying to strike up a conversation with Sam did nothing but make him crazy and frustrated. So he was stuck driving with no one to talk to. He wasn’t even in the mood to deal with his music. He’d thought that with the hunt being easier than anything they’d had to deal with, even before the whole Apocalypse debacle, that maybe Sam would have been shaken out of whatever weird funk he’d been in the last week. Because Dean had been able to ignore it - allowed himself to be distracted by Castiel and this hunt - but he had nothing to take his attention away from it now. If Dean didn’t know his brother the way he did, he’d think Sam was just in one of his bitchy, emo moods. But he did know his brother better. And as much as he’d wanted to be annoyed with Sam for acting that way, he couldn’t deny that his brother was messed up over something. He just wished he could figure out what it was.
When they’d finally made it to the motel and Dean stepped out of the Impala, he noticed Sam didn’t follow him out of the car immediately. Dean looked back once to see Sam just sitting there. He’d never admit that trying to deal with Sam’s new moodiness tired him out - but it did. He was looking forward to getting ready for bed, because even though their hunt wasn’t all that difficult, especially compared to the Apocalypse, his brother’s attitude was stressing him out. And as much as he wanted to help Sam, he wouldn’t be any good to him strung out. That would just cause Dean to snap at Sam and cause his little brother to clam up even further.
Dean waited until Sam got out of the car before turning the key in the lock. He let Sam walk past him and into the room - the faster Sam got to sleep, the better in his opinion. The kid looked dead on his feet. He walked in right after Sam, shutting the door behind him and locking it. He didn’t feel like dealing with anyone else. But when he turned, his shoulders sagged at the sight of one Trickster-turned-Archangel sitting on the edge of his brother’s bed. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair. Even though he didn’t want to deal with any more crap, he hoped that the presence of Sam’s angel could help bring him out of his funk. But when his gaze shifted from Gabriel to Sam he finally noticed how tense his brother had gotten. And how he was standing only a step ahead of Dean. If Dean had decided to walk all the way into the room, he would have barreled straight into his Sasquatch of a little brother.
Brows furrowed, Dean looked from Sam to Gabriel - who hadn’t taken his eyes off the youngest Winchester - back to Sam. Finally, he decided that his brother could wait until later and turned once more to the archangel. “Whatever it is, can’t it wait until tomorrow? We need sleep sometime, dude,” he asked tiredly.
Gabriel’s focus finally turned to Dean. He stood from the bed, opened his mouth and Dean really hoped he would be quick about whatever the hell he needed to tell them because he just wanted to sleep and deal with the world in the morning. But before any words passed the archangel’s lips Sam spoke, though Dean couldn’t help but be surprised at how small his little brother’s voice sounded.
“I’m… just… gonna… bathroom…” he muttered, his words barely audible before he practically ran into the bathroom, his movements as tense as Dean had ever seen as he passed Gabriel. Dean braced himself for the slam of the door, with how fast his brother had run in there. Dean thought it might have been worse that Sam closed it with no more than a soft ‘snick’.
Dean closed his mouth when he realized he’d been gaping at the door and turned back to Gabriel. It took him a moment to notice that Gabriel looked as confused as he felt when Sam locked himself into the bathroom. He took a step back from the angel - didn’t even realize he’d been practically nose-to-nose with him - and tried to control his breathing. Freaking out and losing his temper, with an archangel especially, wasn’t going to get him anywhere. And really, he needed to focus and try to figure out what the hell was going on with everyone this week.
“What the hell did you do to my brother?” he growled.
Chapter Four Chapter Six
Author: wolfish_willow
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG-13 this part, NC-17 overall
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Spoilers: Anything up to and including 5.14
Warnings: angsty/confused!Sam, confused!Dean (what? That's totally a warning)
Word Count: 2400 or so
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just using them for a bit of fun. They belong to Kripke.
Summary: Gabriel goes all angsty, and Sam suffers for it. (AU from 5.14 - so all episodes after My Bloody Valentine are being totally and utterly disregarded. *nodnod*)
Chapter Summary: Sam thinks about what's been going on with him...
A/N 1: beta'd by ladyeternal Thanks so much, bb! Any remaining mistakes are my own.
A/N 2: Would have finished the editing and posted when I got this back from my beta, but I only just finished part 8, like, an hour ago. I'll be working on part 9 this week. So hopefully I'll be posting again sometime next week. *hugs*
Masterpost
Sam was more than ready to just sink into the lumpy mattress of the motel they were using this week. After that hunt he felt even more on edge. How could a pair of ghosts read him well enough to know something was wrong? He knew he wasn’t masking his issues as well as he’d wanted to, but it was a little difficult to act normal in waking life when you weren’t sure if it was the Devil messing with your head in your sleep or your former Trickster ex-boyfriend who thinks you’re pathetic. So, sure he’d been a little shaky and nervous - that was just his body’s way of reacting to very little restful sleep. But the spirits seemed as though they’d figured it all out with just one look. And what was he supposed to do with that?
He shook his head as the Impala kept up its steady rumbling on the drive to their motel. Dean hadn’t said anything about his change in behavior so far, even though Sam could tell that his silence was annoying his brother. Dean may not be very talkative over emotions, but he wasn’t one for quiet on multi-hour drives across the country. Even when their relationship had been rocky, Dean liked to talk about random topics just to pass the time. Unfortunately, Sam just hadn’t been up for much talking unless it was about whatever case they were looking into. If he started talking, he was afraid he’d let slip what was going on, and he really didn’t need to bother Dean with more of his crap. His brother put up with enough from him as it was. And it wasn’t like there was anything Dean could do about Gabriel breaking up with his little brother. Or about the strange nightmares that had been going on since. If Sam couldn’t figure out if they were real when he was the one experiencing them, how could he expect Dean to do any different?
So he tried to push all of his problems aside, brush them off. It wasn’t working very well, but he hoped since Dean wasn’t saying anything, maybe it was enough for his brother to pass off as ‘brooding’ or however Dean loved to describe his behavior. But the ghosts had seen right through him; the woman had even put her hand on his shoulder. It had been almost comforting, in a way, to have someone care enough to show that bit of reassurance, but it also brought forward everything he’d been trying to push back - his memories of every night since Gabriel broke up with him.
Before, he would have just gone to Gabriel when something was bothering him, weighing on him this much. But with that no longer being an option, it felt nice to have someone notice him; pay him attention without hurting him or putting him down (and without being the devil). The whole situation just made his head hurt. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window beside him and closed his eyes.
Sam took another step back when Lucifer started towards him. He was in a nightmare, that much was clear - and really, it was a relief, because that meant that maybe it wasn’t actually Gabriel who was hurting him before. His mind couldn’t wrap around everything; he wasn’t sure what was going on. Everything felt off and he didn’t know what to make of what had just happened.
What Sam was sure of was that Gabriel had broken up with him - didn’t want to have to put up with someone like Sam, who was just a screw-up that never listened, never learned. Why did he think things would be any different with Gabriel, really? When had things ever gone the way Sam wanted them to go? Never. Everything ended - and not just ended, but ended miserably.
Sam paced back and forth slowly as he thought about how he could fix this. Fix everything. He would have kept pacing right until he woke up had Lucifer not stood in front of him, reminding Sam of his presence. And really? Things weren’t bad enough in his waking life? Now somehow Lucifer had found a way back into his head, too? It was just one more thing to remind him of how horrible he really was.
Sam was just so tired of messing things up, tired of people leaving him and hurting him, just tired. He ignored the devil in front of him and found a wall in his dreamscape - that looked like pretty much every motel the Winchesters had ever stayed in - and leaned back into it, sliding to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his legs and laid his forehead against his knees. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, Sam hoped to be able to just ignore the devil - he snorted a laugh at himself with that thought - and just rest after his encounter with Gabriel. Because he really needed to rest, he wasn’t sure how much longer his body and mind could take all the stress.
He meant to move away from the fingers that started softly carding through his hair, he really did. But his body was exhausted and Sam couldn’t deny that it felt good to have someone soothe away the soreness of his scalp left from Gabriel’s tight grip. Instead of pulling away, he found himself leaning into the fingers that slowly slid down his head to rest gently, a welcome weight at his neck.
Then everything started coming back to him. Sam wasn’t sure why it took him so long to get over the disorientation he felt after Lucifer got Gabriel to let him go, but it did. Every night so far, even though he knew before he went to sleep where his mind would end up, he still reacted like he had the first night. Only now, Sam didn’t push Lucifer away and avoid him until he finally woke up. It just wasn’t worth the effort. Unfortunately, it all served to further confuse Sam, especially when he started pushing back against Lucifer’s hand at his neck or in his hair. Apparently his body was so starved of physical contact, the kind that didn’t hurt, that he was willing to take it even if it came from the devil.
He wanted to believe more than anything that this was all some trick of Lucifer’s to get him to say ‘yes’. But the devil never said more than a few murmured words of comfort into his ear while Sam stayed curled into himself against the wall. Nothing made sense when he was here. He knew he needed to get as far from Lucifer as possible, he really did know that. And he knew that it had to be some sort of trick. But how Gabriel kept ripping at him, spouting out how pathetic Sam was, how he was worth so little? How Gabriel mocked Sam’s desire to have been marked by the archangel? Well, all that made it harder and harder to believe that it wasn’t Gabriel doing all of this to him. Made it harder to believe that Lucifer wasn't chasing Gabriel off, protecting Sam. And okay, that was weird. Didn’t it used to be the other way around?
Eventually it all became too much and Sam yanked his head out of Lucifer's grasp, once more convincing himself that it had to be a trick. And even if Gabriel was in on it, he couldn't let himself be comforted by Lucifer. No matter how much more disturbingly tempting it was becoming after each night of torment. And it was tempting, to have someone caring, someone to go to when everything got to be too much for him once again. Then, just when he feared he might give in to that horrible need for comfort, feared that he might not be able to wake up this time, just like he'd feared every night, he woke with a start...
It didn’t take them long to get to the motel after Sam closed his eyes. When he opened them and saw the neon sign blinking he couldn’t help but be relieved, even if the light did aggravate his headache some. But they were finally parked in front of their room and he could go and burrow into the old mattress. At this point, he wasn’t even nervous about whatever nightmares he might have to face, he just needed sleep. Sam had to try and act normal at breakfast that morning with Gabriel sitting right next to him. And on top of dealing with compassionate ghosts who freaked him out, the archangel had decided to ‘tag along’.
After being watched by the angel the whole time he worked with Dean, he was pretty much ready to believe, as much as the idea hurt, that maybe it was Gabriel messing with him every night. He’d been holding out, convincing himself that maybe Lucifer broke past the defenses Gabriel had set up, was trying to mess with his head by trying to comfort him every night after Gabriel hurt him. But if that were the case, then wouldn’t Gabriel have had to lower the defenses himself somehow? The thought alone made him shiver.
Thankfully, Dean had already made his way to the motel room and didn’t notice. Sam shook himself. He only needed to act like he wasn’t freaking out for a couple more minutes. Just long enough for him and Dean to get ready for bed. Then he’d be able to sink into his bed and try to have a peaceful sleep.
***
The silence on the drive back to their motel bothered Dean more than he cared to admit. Sam was locked somewhere in his head again - Dean had learned earlier in the week that trying to strike up a conversation with Sam did nothing but make him crazy and frustrated. So he was stuck driving with no one to talk to. He wasn’t even in the mood to deal with his music. He’d thought that with the hunt being easier than anything they’d had to deal with, even before the whole Apocalypse debacle, that maybe Sam would have been shaken out of whatever weird funk he’d been in the last week. Because Dean had been able to ignore it - allowed himself to be distracted by Castiel and this hunt - but he had nothing to take his attention away from it now. If Dean didn’t know his brother the way he did, he’d think Sam was just in one of his bitchy, emo moods. But he did know his brother better. And as much as he’d wanted to be annoyed with Sam for acting that way, he couldn’t deny that his brother was messed up over something. He just wished he could figure out what it was.
When they’d finally made it to the motel and Dean stepped out of the Impala, he noticed Sam didn’t follow him out of the car immediately. Dean looked back once to see Sam just sitting there. He’d never admit that trying to deal with Sam’s new moodiness tired him out - but it did. He was looking forward to getting ready for bed, because even though their hunt wasn’t all that difficult, especially compared to the Apocalypse, his brother’s attitude was stressing him out. And as much as he wanted to help Sam, he wouldn’t be any good to him strung out. That would just cause Dean to snap at Sam and cause his little brother to clam up even further.
Dean waited until Sam got out of the car before turning the key in the lock. He let Sam walk past him and into the room - the faster Sam got to sleep, the better in his opinion. The kid looked dead on his feet. He walked in right after Sam, shutting the door behind him and locking it. He didn’t feel like dealing with anyone else. But when he turned, his shoulders sagged at the sight of one Trickster-turned-Archangel sitting on the edge of his brother’s bed. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair. Even though he didn’t want to deal with any more crap, he hoped that the presence of Sam’s angel could help bring him out of his funk. But when his gaze shifted from Gabriel to Sam he finally noticed how tense his brother had gotten. And how he was standing only a step ahead of Dean. If Dean had decided to walk all the way into the room, he would have barreled straight into his Sasquatch of a little brother.
Brows furrowed, Dean looked from Sam to Gabriel - who hadn’t taken his eyes off the youngest Winchester - back to Sam. Finally, he decided that his brother could wait until later and turned once more to the archangel. “Whatever it is, can’t it wait until tomorrow? We need sleep sometime, dude,” he asked tiredly.
Gabriel’s focus finally turned to Dean. He stood from the bed, opened his mouth and Dean really hoped he would be quick about whatever the hell he needed to tell them because he just wanted to sleep and deal with the world in the morning. But before any words passed the archangel’s lips Sam spoke, though Dean couldn’t help but be surprised at how small his little brother’s voice sounded.
“I’m… just… gonna… bathroom…” he muttered, his words barely audible before he practically ran into the bathroom, his movements as tense as Dean had ever seen as he passed Gabriel. Dean braced himself for the slam of the door, with how fast his brother had run in there. Dean thought it might have been worse that Sam closed it with no more than a soft ‘snick’.
Dean closed his mouth when he realized he’d been gaping at the door and turned back to Gabriel. It took him a moment to notice that Gabriel looked as confused as he felt when Sam locked himself into the bathroom. He took a step back from the angel - didn’t even realize he’d been practically nose-to-nose with him - and tried to control his breathing. Freaking out and losing his temper, with an archangel especially, wasn’t going to get him anywhere. And really, he needed to focus and try to figure out what the hell was going on with everyone this week.
“What the hell did you do to my brother?” he growled.
Chapter Four Chapter Six