Facebook woes
Okay, this is why I -hate- networking sites. Facebook, myspace, yadda yadda. Atleast with myspace it sticks with JUST your friends and what they post on their own noteboards and such. Yet, Facebook tells you EVERY SINGLE THING YOUR FRIENDS DO, including posting something on someone else's wall. You get your feed covered in some douchebag's misinformed, ignorant opinion simply because your friend either liked it or commented on it. And this special douchebag really ticked me off.
So, to save Jodi's friends page from being hit by a wall of text, this is going under a cut. :P
I'm posting my reaction here because I'm not willing to friend this shithead JUST to comment on his ignorance.
Okay, first off, let me start by saying that this "kid" was born in March 1990. Yes, that means he is 20. Let me spell this out for him, HE IS NOT A CHILD. He may be "young", but he is not a kid. He stopped being a kid the moment he turned 18.
Now I'm going to go through his posts. Mind you, all the "pros" for his argument are contributed by men. (Except for my friend's comment at the top. But she dropped off after her comment.) Not that men don't what it's like to be a single parent, but you have to admit the number of single responsible mothers out weights the fathers.
I agree with the girl defending herself. Who are YOU to assess her financial situation? You can work at McDonalds and fend for a child. (Before anyone harps, yes you can. I've seen it done. Mind, you're not living in the lap of luxury.) As long as that child has a roof over it's head, clothes on it's back, food in it's belly that is all she legally has to do to provide for that child. If she does more, that is her own doing. NOT YOURS. She probably understand her financial situation alot better than you do about yours. So, instead of buying that new PS3 YOU want, she buys diapers, food, clothes, toys. What do you care? It's not YOUR money. What do you honestly care if some girl your own age gets pregnant? Oh, another girl you can't party and plug with? Because that is the only reason I'm seeing for your ignorant outburst.
Another thing, the only protection that is 100% is abstinence or a complete removal of the reproductive organs. More one this in a moment.
In her second response, she says "i know i didn't do things according to society's norm". Okay, hold it. Maybe today's day and age is she straying from the path. Lets face it guys, our generation is full of a bunch of PUSSIES. We are so cushioned because our parents either A. won't let go; B. provide for us whether we want it or not; C. don't want to sever the parenting ties sooner because they don't want us to go through the "hardships" their parents and they had to go through. Look at all of the people between the ages of 20-30 that still live with their parents! Look at all of the people in College that have their parents send them money throughout the year because they went off and blew their own paychecks on crap they didn't need or alcohol. Now, don't get me wrong. I know alot of people on my friends list and people out there than fend for themselves. That don't rely on their parents for a single thing. But, you can not deny that this trend of whiny pussies isn't the majority now, that it isn't inclining steadily day by day. It is only OUR generation that is expected to wait until our late 20s early 30s before we start establishing families. Our parents generation started that trend and they EXPECT us to live by it. Lets stop and think about our grandparents generation, and the generations before that. Having a child by 20 meant you are OLD DIRT. Teenagers were auctioned off by 14 in some cases. Most of our grandparents were married by 18! And having their first child within that same year. This "young parent" business is nothing new! It's just been hidden behind some veil that our generation wants to hide and beaten down to be taboo because our generation is turning into the "career first" type of people.
My mother was 35 when she had me and divorced by the time I was six. I grew up in that "career first" family. And you know what? It sucks. Yes, my mother provided for me, and I do appreciate everything she's done for me. But, the job always came first. I'll be damned if I do that with my children.
His second response irks me. "i'm sure you're a good mother", Bullshit, you're just hiding your hide now. Your passive aggressive remarks are simply showing you what an ass you truely are. Who are you to tell her she's too young? If she can hold a job and provide for herself, and boyfriend in that case, she is fully capable of raising a child. Granted, money will be tight, she'll probably have to give up some comfort expenses. But I guarantee that child will learn to respect money, which to me it seems like YOU don't. You respect the glorification of it. You don't NEED money to be happy.
Also, a child does not negate ANYONE from having a life, it just put some classifications to it. What can you as a mother do that your child can not accompany you with? The list isn't that high:
Go to a drinking college party,
do drugs around the child,
watch a scary movie in a theater,
go to a fancy sit down restaurant (you can do this with a child, most people just chose NOT to),
go into a sex store (actually, you can do this, but it's just taboo),
have wild sex parties
I don't know about you guys, but how much of that is actually appealing? And even then, having a child doesn't STOP you from doing any of that. It's called a baby-sitter, day care, yadda yadda. The child does not negate the parent from having a life, the PARENT negates it. Using your child as an excuse is just that, an excuse. I have a friend from Guymon on facebook, she's the same age I am, maybe a year older. She has two BEAUTIFUL boys. Every day she seems to post pictures of them doing things. These boys have active lives and so does their mother. I personally live a boring life, but that is not my daughter's fault. If my daughter had control of everything I did, I would be at the park 24/7 with her. I would be out shopping with her, walking around downtown, going swimming in the bay, going fishing, going and visiting friends and family. I am a lazy bitch, and if you ever hear some person making an excuse that "i can't, i have the kids", the kids aren't stopping them, the lazy parent is! Yes, there are things that your children should not be involved in, but if you sit back and think about it, should YOU be involved in it too? If it's a harmless yes, there is nothing stopping you from finding someone to watch your child/children. If it is a one night/one time deal, chances are you've known about it for a while (like a concert or performance), you'll have PLENTY of time to find someone to watch your kid. It's not irresponsible to want to have some adult time. It only becomes irresponsible when you leave the child to defend for themselves or bring them into an environment that would harm them, but that brings you back to, if the child shouldn't be there, should you? And this also brings into consideration, what do you care what she does with HER time? Are we getting back to the point that you're losing numbers of how many girls you can party and plug? Well that isn't her fault.
And now, back to the protection argument. This is where he is truly miss informed. -NOTHING-, when it comes to contraceptive, -NOTHING- is 100%. There is ALWAYS the chance. Granted, contraceptive decreases that chance, but the chance is still there none the less. I didn't go to "normal" High School. I went to that special alternative school for the bad kids, outcasts (me) that couldn't take the crowds, and pregnant girls. 99% of all the girls in that school WERE PREGNANT. (No, I was graduated by the time I was pregnant) Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR of the probably ten high school pregnant girls ended up pregnant not only with a condom, but with birth control aswell. There are women that take the morning after pill that -still- end up pregnant. Same with the depo shot. Nothing is 100% beyond not having sex, or getting rid of your reproductive organs. Tying your tubes isn't even 100% as they can become untied. As long as you are going to have sex, you are taking that chance. And if you are not going to be responsible enough to take care of that child, you shouldn't be doing the deed in the first place. It's the same as if you are deadly afraid of drowning, you shouldn't go swimming, if you are deadly afraid of car crashes, you shouldn't be driving a car.
Now, I know there is the "well not everyone is responsible!" Yes, I will agree. There are young mothers and fathers that neglect their children, that the need of the parent is higher than the need of the child. This is why DHS is there. And yes, I know, DHS is a flawed system, but it's still there. It's also why there is adoption. If you are not willing to ask for help, these systems are there. More than not, these girls that, if they haven't already worked out what will happen with the child, be it adoption or fostering, they WANT to take the initiative to be parents. Maybe it wasn't planned, but most times than not, it corrects things in people's lives. For me, it set me straight. I was on a down hill spiral of laziness and addiction. And I'm sure most of these girls are getting initiative to work to provide for their families. Whether it be providing as a stay at home mom or getting a job, working through college. The rewards are so much sweeter when you have something to provide for. So you go to college and you get that big paying job, yet you're alone with the expensive shit you bought. And I bet you don't respect that money that bought it all. It's like they say, money doesn't buy happiness, and it's the truth. It helps it along, but it'll probably cause more problems than it's worth.
And I know, not all people are "children" people. I don't deny that and I wouldn't force children on someone that didn't want them to begin with. But don't chastise and criticize those that DO want them. Regardless of age.(granted, if you aren't old enough to provide, you shouldn't to begin with.) Being 20 years old and a mother doesn't make you irresponsible. It makes you aware. It gives you purpose if you are willing and want to be responsible.
If he had narrowed it down, he wouldn't be so ignorant in my opinion. If he were to say "why are girls my age getting pregnant out of wedlock", I'd be a little more understanding. Mind you, I'm not saying that in the sense of "i'm an evil bible thumper, sex before marriage is a sin, BLAFLFHAGLAH", but more in the fact that with marriage, there are TWO adults in that relationship to provide rather than a single mom. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for single moms. I was one for four years, my mother was a single mom nearly all my life. BUT, with two parents, it's much easier, for you, for the kid, for your spouse. It doesn't even have to be marriage but a long term committed relationship. And with marriage, there is a more expectation that there will be children at some point. I'm more apt to lean towards marriage rather than just a committed relationship simply because there is a little more legality behind it, it's a little more concrete. Again, don't get me wrong. I know there are relationships that people have for YEARS and it's just like a marriage, but there is abit more to marriage than just a committed relationship. Until you hit the common law, there isn't much legality behind it. (Blame the government for that one).
We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I do agree that there is an incline in irresponsible mothers. But simply because someone is "young", don't chastise them simply because they start a family, whether planned or not. If she can support that child, difficulties or not, she has my support. And for the d-bags that think their entitled opinion is the "right", you'll never know what it is like until you are in that position. So instead of getting huffy and defensive when a "young" mother comes and defends herself, just shut the fuck up and realize that your sense of superiority is flawed and ignorant.
I'm a "young" mom and I support this message. *nod*
So, to save Jodi's friends page from being hit by a wall of text, this is going under a cut. :P
I'm posting my reaction here because I'm not willing to friend this shithead JUST to comment on his ignorance.
Okay, first off, let me start by saying that this "kid" was born in March 1990. Yes, that means he is 20. Let me spell this out for him, HE IS NOT A CHILD. He may be "young", but he is not a kid. He stopped being a kid the moment he turned 18.
Now I'm going to go through his posts. Mind you, all the "pros" for his argument are contributed by men. (Except for my friend's comment at the top. But she dropped off after her comment.) Not that men don't what it's like to be a single parent, but you have to admit the number of single responsible mothers out weights the fathers.
I agree with the girl defending herself. Who are YOU to assess her financial situation? You can work at McDonalds and fend for a child. (Before anyone harps, yes you can. I've seen it done. Mind, you're not living in the lap of luxury.) As long as that child has a roof over it's head, clothes on it's back, food in it's belly that is all she legally has to do to provide for that child. If she does more, that is her own doing. NOT YOURS. She probably understand her financial situation alot better than you do about yours. So, instead of buying that new PS3 YOU want, she buys diapers, food, clothes, toys. What do you care? It's not YOUR money. What do you honestly care if some girl your own age gets pregnant? Oh, another girl you can't party and plug with? Because that is the only reason I'm seeing for your ignorant outburst.
Another thing, the only protection that is 100% is abstinence or a complete removal of the reproductive organs. More one this in a moment.
In her second response, she says "i know i didn't do things according to society's norm". Okay, hold it. Maybe today's day and age is she straying from the path. Lets face it guys, our generation is full of a bunch of PUSSIES. We are so cushioned because our parents either A. won't let go; B. provide for us whether we want it or not; C. don't want to sever the parenting ties sooner because they don't want us to go through the "hardships" their parents and they had to go through. Look at all of the people between the ages of 20-30 that still live with their parents! Look at all of the people in College that have their parents send them money throughout the year because they went off and blew their own paychecks on crap they didn't need or alcohol. Now, don't get me wrong. I know alot of people on my friends list and people out there than fend for themselves. That don't rely on their parents for a single thing. But, you can not deny that this trend of whiny pussies isn't the majority now, that it isn't inclining steadily day by day. It is only OUR generation that is expected to wait until our late 20s early 30s before we start establishing families. Our parents generation started that trend and they EXPECT us to live by it. Lets stop and think about our grandparents generation, and the generations before that. Having a child by 20 meant you are OLD DIRT. Teenagers were auctioned off by 14 in some cases. Most of our grandparents were married by 18! And having their first child within that same year. This "young parent" business is nothing new! It's just been hidden behind some veil that our generation wants to hide and beaten down to be taboo because our generation is turning into the "career first" type of people.
My mother was 35 when she had me and divorced by the time I was six. I grew up in that "career first" family. And you know what? It sucks. Yes, my mother provided for me, and I do appreciate everything she's done for me. But, the job always came first. I'll be damned if I do that with my children.
His second response irks me. "i'm sure you're a good mother", Bullshit, you're just hiding your hide now. Your passive aggressive remarks are simply showing you what an ass you truely are. Who are you to tell her she's too young? If she can hold a job and provide for herself, and boyfriend in that case, she is fully capable of raising a child. Granted, money will be tight, she'll probably have to give up some comfort expenses. But I guarantee that child will learn to respect money, which to me it seems like YOU don't. You respect the glorification of it. You don't NEED money to be happy.
Also, a child does not negate ANYONE from having a life, it just put some classifications to it. What can you as a mother do that your child can not accompany you with? The list isn't that high:
Go to a drinking college party,
do drugs around the child,
watch a scary movie in a theater,
go to a fancy sit down restaurant (you can do this with a child, most people just chose NOT to),
go into a sex store (actually, you can do this, but it's just taboo),
have wild sex parties
I don't know about you guys, but how much of that is actually appealing? And even then, having a child doesn't STOP you from doing any of that. It's called a baby-sitter, day care, yadda yadda. The child does not negate the parent from having a life, the PARENT negates it. Using your child as an excuse is just that, an excuse. I have a friend from Guymon on facebook, she's the same age I am, maybe a year older. She has two BEAUTIFUL boys. Every day she seems to post pictures of them doing things. These boys have active lives and so does their mother. I personally live a boring life, but that is not my daughter's fault. If my daughter had control of everything I did, I would be at the park 24/7 with her. I would be out shopping with her, walking around downtown, going swimming in the bay, going fishing, going and visiting friends and family. I am a lazy bitch, and if you ever hear some person making an excuse that "i can't, i have the kids", the kids aren't stopping them, the lazy parent is! Yes, there are things that your children should not be involved in, but if you sit back and think about it, should YOU be involved in it too? If it's a harmless yes, there is nothing stopping you from finding someone to watch your child/children. If it is a one night/one time deal, chances are you've known about it for a while (like a concert or performance), you'll have PLENTY of time to find someone to watch your kid. It's not irresponsible to want to have some adult time. It only becomes irresponsible when you leave the child to defend for themselves or bring them into an environment that would harm them, but that brings you back to, if the child shouldn't be there, should you? And this also brings into consideration, what do you care what she does with HER time? Are we getting back to the point that you're losing numbers of how many girls you can party and plug? Well that isn't her fault.
And now, back to the protection argument. This is where he is truly miss informed. -NOTHING-, when it comes to contraceptive, -NOTHING- is 100%. There is ALWAYS the chance. Granted, contraceptive decreases that chance, but the chance is still there none the less. I didn't go to "normal" High School. I went to that special alternative school for the bad kids, outcasts (me) that couldn't take the crowds, and pregnant girls. 99% of all the girls in that school WERE PREGNANT. (No, I was graduated by the time I was pregnant) Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR of the probably ten high school pregnant girls ended up pregnant not only with a condom, but with birth control aswell. There are women that take the morning after pill that -still- end up pregnant. Same with the depo shot. Nothing is 100% beyond not having sex, or getting rid of your reproductive organs. Tying your tubes isn't even 100% as they can become untied. As long as you are going to have sex, you are taking that chance. And if you are not going to be responsible enough to take care of that child, you shouldn't be doing the deed in the first place. It's the same as if you are deadly afraid of drowning, you shouldn't go swimming, if you are deadly afraid of car crashes, you shouldn't be driving a car.
Now, I know there is the "well not everyone is responsible!" Yes, I will agree. There are young mothers and fathers that neglect their children, that the need of the parent is higher than the need of the child. This is why DHS is there. And yes, I know, DHS is a flawed system, but it's still there. It's also why there is adoption. If you are not willing to ask for help, these systems are there. More than not, these girls that, if they haven't already worked out what will happen with the child, be it adoption or fostering, they WANT to take the initiative to be parents. Maybe it wasn't planned, but most times than not, it corrects things in people's lives. For me, it set me straight. I was on a down hill spiral of laziness and addiction. And I'm sure most of these girls are getting initiative to work to provide for their families. Whether it be providing as a stay at home mom or getting a job, working through college. The rewards are so much sweeter when you have something to provide for. So you go to college and you get that big paying job, yet you're alone with the expensive shit you bought. And I bet you don't respect that money that bought it all. It's like they say, money doesn't buy happiness, and it's the truth. It helps it along, but it'll probably cause more problems than it's worth.
And I know, not all people are "children" people. I don't deny that and I wouldn't force children on someone that didn't want them to begin with. But don't chastise and criticize those that DO want them. Regardless of age.(granted, if you aren't old enough to provide, you shouldn't to begin with.) Being 20 years old and a mother doesn't make you irresponsible. It makes you aware. It gives you purpose if you are willing and want to be responsible.
If he had narrowed it down, he wouldn't be so ignorant in my opinion. If he were to say "why are girls my age getting pregnant out of wedlock", I'd be a little more understanding. Mind you, I'm not saying that in the sense of "i'm an evil bible thumper, sex before marriage is a sin, BLAFLFHAGLAH", but more in the fact that with marriage, there are TWO adults in that relationship to provide rather than a single mom. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for single moms. I was one for four years, my mother was a single mom nearly all my life. BUT, with two parents, it's much easier, for you, for the kid, for your spouse. It doesn't even have to be marriage but a long term committed relationship. And with marriage, there is a more expectation that there will be children at some point. I'm more apt to lean towards marriage rather than just a committed relationship simply because there is a little more legality behind it, it's a little more concrete. Again, don't get me wrong. I know there are relationships that people have for YEARS and it's just like a marriage, but there is abit more to marriage than just a committed relationship. Until you hit the common law, there isn't much legality behind it. (Blame the government for that one).
We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I do agree that there is an incline in irresponsible mothers. But simply because someone is "young", don't chastise them simply because they start a family, whether planned or not. If she can support that child, difficulties or not, she has my support. And for the d-bags that think their entitled opinion is the "right", you'll never know what it is like until you are in that position. So instead of getting huffy and defensive when a "young" mother comes and defends herself, just shut the fuck up and realize that your sense of superiority is flawed and ignorant.
I'm a "young" mom and I support this message. *nod*