Das OPI Ekzamenn
So I took the Oral Proficiency Exam today. It actually went really well, given that I had Japanese right before then (and in class, she decided to do a review and make us talk as much as possible for a simulated OPI that I'm going to have to take on Monday) and had to switch my mind to Russian. Now, Zhenya and I are like besties, so I spoke to her before the start of the exam to sort of warm up my Russian.
So the exam itself was pretty durn good. But take note: I wish to extol my genius and curse my idiocy. One of the topics was politics in Russia, which meant I used a lot of "безвыходное положение" (inescapable position) "замкнутый круг" (vicious circle) "справиться с коррупцией" (deal with corruption). One of the OTHER topics was my family, and what word did I forget? UNCLE. Fucking UNCLE. I was saying that "Only my parents and one of my uncles live here in the States," so I said "В Америке живут только мои родители и.... и.... и.... брат моего отца." (the brother of my father). OMFG, ДЯДЯ! I had to look it up in Lingvo just now to see what it was... Dude, Uncle Vanya, Wilson, how could you forget???
Whatever, then I saw her shuffle through her cards and saw that she was picking a card for role playing from the "Superior" portion. Holy shit. I be crappin' in my pants. And then she gave the card to me to read and it was "Explain to your colleague how to "log on" to a computer to access his/her e-mail account." Holy. Effin'. Doodie. I can't even explain that to my own mother! AND SHE'S MY MOTHER! Literally, dealing with technically illiterate people is such a pain, though I love my mom... so this is what followed...
"Хорошо, компьютер включите, а на экране будут иконы. Щелкните мышу на иконе, и там открывается окно. Напишите адрес www.yahoo.com на баре, и чтобы доступить до своего аккаунта, напишите имя, пароль, и щелкните Enter."
Translation:
"Ok, turn on the computer, and on the screen will be icons (this word in Russian actually means like religious icons). Click the armpit (I eventually said mouse correctly) on the icon, and a window will open (to which the teacher said "A window!? A window will open and I will see icons!?" Yeah, haha, sounds like a bad acid trip). Write the address www.yahoo.com on the bar (but this bar means like a pub), and to access (this verb form of "access" does not exist in Russian) your account, write your name, password, and click Enter."
So yeah... a Russian will understand what I meant and just assume I was drunk or high or something. And a foreigner.
Oh, btw, yesterday I was confused for both a Russian AND a gymnast! Yaaay! My life is complete :)
So the exam itself was pretty durn good. But take note: I wish to extol my genius and curse my idiocy. One of the topics was politics in Russia, which meant I used a lot of "безвыходное положение" (inescapable position) "замкнутый круг" (vicious circle) "справиться с коррупцией" (deal with corruption). One of the OTHER topics was my family, and what word did I forget? UNCLE. Fucking UNCLE. I was saying that "Only my parents and one of my uncles live here in the States," so I said "В Америке живут только мои родители и.... и.... и.... брат моего отца." (the brother of my father). OMFG, ДЯДЯ! I had to look it up in Lingvo just now to see what it was... Dude, Uncle Vanya, Wilson, how could you forget???
Whatever, then I saw her shuffle through her cards and saw that she was picking a card for role playing from the "Superior" portion. Holy shit. I be crappin' in my pants. And then she gave the card to me to read and it was "Explain to your colleague how to "log on" to a computer to access his/her e-mail account." Holy. Effin'. Doodie. I can't even explain that to my own mother! AND SHE'S MY MOTHER! Literally, dealing with technically illiterate people is such a pain, though I love my mom... so this is what followed...
"Хорошо, компьютер включите, а на экране будут иконы. Щелкните мышу на иконе, и там открывается окно. Напишите адрес www.yahoo.com на баре, и чтобы доступить до своего аккаунта, напишите имя, пароль, и щелкните Enter."
Translation:
"Ok, turn on the computer, and on the screen will be icons (this word in Russian actually means like religious icons). Click the armpit (I eventually said mouse correctly) on the icon, and a window will open (to which the teacher said "A window!? A window will open and I will see icons!?" Yeah, haha, sounds like a bad acid trip). Write the address www.yahoo.com on the bar (but this bar means like a pub), and to access (this verb form of "access" does not exist in Russian) your account, write your name, password, and click Enter."
So yeah... a Russian will understand what I meant and just assume I was drunk or high or something. And a foreigner.
Oh, btw, yesterday I was confused for both a Russian AND a gymnast! Yaaay! My life is complete :)