Life
I handled it pretty well for about an hour.
For the last 24~25, I've lapsed into a state ranging from confused depression to near hysteria at the merest drop of a hat. When I tried to say goodbye, when I heard Black Water on the radio, various 'uplifting' Calvin & Hobbes strips, animals in general, changing my MySpace status to single, I just wasn't prepared for this. I saw it coming, tried to deny it I guess, knew it was the only thing to do, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
Using that road analogy, I see not the fog, but that the asphalt just disappeared entirely.
I can't sleep, I can't eat, at least not until I get to the point where my body won't take no for an answer. It's just something I've never really faced on this level before. I'm unsure of how to act or react, it's like being told to act, not only without a script (because that's just real life), but without any sense of plot or theme or character developement.
Being living the way I have since last November is not an option, and I've no desire to live the way I was before then, I really am forced to start over. And I do feel blind. I hide it behind an attitude and short temper, but I'm such a willfully frail and easily intimidated individual.
I am proudly thankful, however, that my (rather short) list of real friends did not lose a member.
For the last 24~25, I've lapsed into a state ranging from confused depression to near hysteria at the merest drop of a hat. When I tried to say goodbye, when I heard Black Water on the radio, various 'uplifting' Calvin & Hobbes strips, animals in general, changing my MySpace status to single, I just wasn't prepared for this. I saw it coming, tried to deny it I guess, knew it was the only thing to do, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
Using that road analogy, I see not the fog, but that the asphalt just disappeared entirely.
I can't sleep, I can't eat, at least not until I get to the point where my body won't take no for an answer. It's just something I've never really faced on this level before. I'm unsure of how to act or react, it's like being told to act, not only without a script (because that's just real life), but without any sense of plot or theme or character developement.
Being living the way I have since last November is not an option, and I've no desire to live the way I was before then, I really am forced to start over. And I do feel blind. I hide it behind an attitude and short temper, but I'm such a willfully frail and easily intimidated individual.
I am proudly thankful, however, that my (rather short) list of real friends did not lose a member.