Social Commentary
I have realized something this week. I almost feel ashamed to admit this because I've spent the better portion of my life studing sociology and psychology, both formally and informally, in the class room and in the real world. As a woman, I occasionally get approached by men whom, I can only assume are interested in me. Rarely ever do I get approached by someone I would not immediatly "friend zone" or immediately write off as creepy. Inversely, the men I'm attracted to rarely reciprocate. (wow, revealing!) so this got me thinking. Since Jost was near by, I asked him if he ever experienced the same thing....women coming up to him being labled "creepy" and the girls he's interested in usually not reciprocating. He said yes, and said that in a guy's mind, a woman who approaches a man falls into one of 3 categories....
1. Is-going-to-steal-a-lock-of-your-hair-and-make-a-voodoo-doll
2. Is pathetic or desperate for male attention
3. (I was on the prescipesce of sleep so Im foggy on the last one, but it was undesireable as well)
Hmm. Okay, so basically when either gender approaches the other one, your chances of getting shot down are very high. So, what about the men too shy to approach a woman? Or maybe he is thinking about it, not sure if he should or not, and she comes up to him? Wouldn't that end well for both parties? I know that attractiveness and personality comes into play here too-if you are a good looking man/woman, this almost doesn't apply to you...or if you make up for your lack of beauty with an attractive personality, that weighs in your favor when trying to impress the opposite sex. Like they discuss in How I Met Your Mother, in every relationship there is a "reacher" and a "settler"...someone who is "reaching" for someone out of their league and someone who is "settling" for someone below them. An attractive woman may seek out a man who is less attractive than herself because her self esteem is lower and she thinks hes as hot as she can get.
Without naming names or pointing fingers, I saw an exchange occur this past week where an older, exotically beautiful woman slinked off into the darkness on the arm of a much younger, less experienced man. (no, Im not saying that to be mean....people talk...) From the outside,she was so far out of his league, I was surprised she was allowing herself to be swayed by him. They were both attractive people,but on different levels This made me question her motives for sleeping with him...or at least vanishing for a while with him. I figured her self esteem wasn't where it should be, she just wanted some easy action, or he lied about his age. Are women who fall below the bracket of what's considered physically "hot/beautiful" (and therefore in the "very pretty", "pretty" and "reasonably attractive" categories) doomed and at the mercy of hoping that the guy she wants to get to know better comes up and talks to her? Are guys who fall into similar categories at the mercy of a simple "no" from a woman he finds attractive?
Of course, most of this is based on the thought of meeting a new person for the first time, or seeing someone at a party that you find attractive, whom you want to get to know better, and don't want to risk passing up an opportunity for conversation when in reality, you don't know if you'll see that person again.
I'm sure Joel can appreicate this thought train as I know he thinks about things like this as often as I do.
1. Is-going-to-steal-a-lock-of-your-hair-and-make-a-voodoo-doll
2. Is pathetic or desperate for male attention
3. (I was on the prescipesce of sleep so Im foggy on the last one, but it was undesireable as well)
Hmm. Okay, so basically when either gender approaches the other one, your chances of getting shot down are very high. So, what about the men too shy to approach a woman? Or maybe he is thinking about it, not sure if he should or not, and she comes up to him? Wouldn't that end well for both parties? I know that attractiveness and personality comes into play here too-if you are a good looking man/woman, this almost doesn't apply to you...or if you make up for your lack of beauty with an attractive personality, that weighs in your favor when trying to impress the opposite sex. Like they discuss in How I Met Your Mother, in every relationship there is a "reacher" and a "settler"...someone who is "reaching" for someone out of their league and someone who is "settling" for someone below them. An attractive woman may seek out a man who is less attractive than herself because her self esteem is lower and she thinks hes as hot as she can get.
Without naming names or pointing fingers, I saw an exchange occur this past week where an older, exotically beautiful woman slinked off into the darkness on the arm of a much younger, less experienced man. (no, Im not saying that to be mean....people talk...) From the outside,she was so far out of his league, I was surprised she was allowing herself to be swayed by him. They were both attractive people,but on different levels This made me question her motives for sleeping with him...or at least vanishing for a while with him. I figured her self esteem wasn't where it should be, she just wanted some easy action, or he lied about his age. Are women who fall below the bracket of what's considered physically "hot/beautiful" (and therefore in the "very pretty", "pretty" and "reasonably attractive" categories) doomed and at the mercy of hoping that the guy she wants to get to know better comes up and talks to her? Are guys who fall into similar categories at the mercy of a simple "no" from a woman he finds attractive?
Of course, most of this is based on the thought of meeting a new person for the first time, or seeing someone at a party that you find attractive, whom you want to get to know better, and don't want to risk passing up an opportunity for conversation when in reality, you don't know if you'll see that person again.
I'm sure Joel can appreicate this thought train as I know he thinks about things like this as often as I do.