I can't believe it...
Well, holy crap... I followed the procedure laid out in the employee handbook, talked it over with a manager... and I go back to work on Wednesday. I GOT MY JOB BACK!!!! They actually admitted to me that they were wrong (that blew my mind), and offered me my old position. Now, of course, I realize that I am on final warning until Feb. so I can't miss anything, but still, it just pulled my ass out of the fire.