(no subject)
It has been a while since I wrote in you. Sorry about that. Alot has happened but I am not sure exactly what that "lot" was. I am working alot. Waiting to the application to go up for my fellowship. Took the Frenchman away for his birthday which was nice and relaxing, oh and I really need to get my act together on planning mine if it is going to happen, WIFE!!!!!.
I saw a comedy show Wednesday night with my sister that left me laughing so hard my sides hurt. Fags and Hags. REALLY funny. Some of it wasn't exactly my taste but alot of it was. :-) I am glad I got to have fun with her. I need to send her a thank you letter for getting us the tickets.
Was Working on a new Hubba Routine that I am feeling pretty damn good about, p[articularly since so many people last night told me how goof it was. I was nervous at first that the music choice was a mistake but I am trying to remain confident in my choices and say "Hey, I'M the artist and if you are going to judge me then FUCK OFF!" or something like that. That said i still wanted to throw up 2 seconds before I got on stage. Still what a great show
A few of my friends sadly had some breakups. I feel bad that there is nothing I can do for them. One took me kinda completely off guard. That is the person I wish I could help the most because they have done so much for me over the years. I know all I can do is be here and offer a shoulder to cry on. It just sucks. I did make them something that i need to mail out so that they know I am thinking of them. As for the other relationship....It is hard for me not to think "Knew it would happen", I know this person is my friend and all but they really should have known better. I mean seriously....God I feel like a bitch for writing that but I would like to know that my journal can be honest
Both of these though have made me feel more than a little insecure about my relationship, which kinda sucks when it happen right when we were heading off on his Birthday weekend but he tried to calm my frazeled nerves and we still had a nice time down south, the highlight of the trip being Point Lobos where we say Whales, Sea Lions, Deer, a Hawk and a Bunny. I am still worried honestly, It is just that we keep talking about moving in together which brings it's own mess. I mean, if I get accepted to BR but I DON'T get housing (which is a possibility I guess) then what do I do? He has said he would move to Berkeley with me, he is always talking about how much he wants to live with me, but my options then are having him pay the rent, having my parents pay my part of the rent, or draining my trust fund to do so. And I am not sure if I want to ask him to move for me for just 11 months. There is just so much uncertainty right now and it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like everyone expects me to have a plan but when i tell them my plan they don't think it is good enough.
Other then that I am feeling kinda dead this AM because of the show last night. I just feel slow. Like I am moving in jello. It doesn't help that my job doesn't give me much stimulation, but I need all the shifts I can to pay for this vacation. I have a feeling my outings will not be very extravagant for the next few weeks etc.
I saw a comedy show Wednesday night with my sister that left me laughing so hard my sides hurt. Fags and Hags. REALLY funny. Some of it wasn't exactly my taste but alot of it was. :-) I am glad I got to have fun with her. I need to send her a thank you letter for getting us the tickets.
Was Working on a new Hubba Routine that I am feeling pretty damn good about, p[articularly since so many people last night told me how goof it was. I was nervous at first that the music choice was a mistake but I am trying to remain confident in my choices and say "Hey, I'M the artist and if you are going to judge me then FUCK OFF!" or something like that. That said i still wanted to throw up 2 seconds before I got on stage. Still what a great show
A few of my friends sadly had some breakups. I feel bad that there is nothing I can do for them. One took me kinda completely off guard. That is the person I wish I could help the most because they have done so much for me over the years. I know all I can do is be here and offer a shoulder to cry on. It just sucks. I did make them something that i need to mail out so that they know I am thinking of them. As for the other relationship....It is hard for me not to think "Knew it would happen", I know this person is my friend and all but they really should have known better. I mean seriously....God I feel like a bitch for writing that but I would like to know that my journal can be honest
Both of these though have made me feel more than a little insecure about my relationship, which kinda sucks when it happen right when we were heading off on his Birthday weekend but he tried to calm my frazeled nerves and we still had a nice time down south, the highlight of the trip being Point Lobos where we say Whales, Sea Lions, Deer, a Hawk and a Bunny. I am still worried honestly, It is just that we keep talking about moving in together which brings it's own mess. I mean, if I get accepted to BR but I DON'T get housing (which is a possibility I guess) then what do I do? He has said he would move to Berkeley with me, he is always talking about how much he wants to live with me, but my options then are having him pay the rent, having my parents pay my part of the rent, or draining my trust fund to do so. And I am not sure if I want to ask him to move for me for just 11 months. There is just so much uncertainty right now and it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like everyone expects me to have a plan but when i tell them my plan they don't think it is good enough.
Other then that I am feeling kinda dead this AM because of the show last night. I just feel slow. Like I am moving in jello. It doesn't help that my job doesn't give me much stimulation, but I need all the shifts I can to pay for this vacation. I have a feeling my outings will not be very extravagant for the next few weeks etc.