Thouught on Friendship started at 4 AM
I started this at 4AM when i couldn't sleep:
I have had some interesting times with friendships these days. Right before Dickens I got in to a VERY stupid fight with my Best Friend of 9 years. I admit the beginning of the fight was my fault (I was having a bad day) and I am also stating that it takes 2 to fight and he has made it worse by hanging up on me and hasn’t returned one call or text pretty much since then (he responded to one saying he didn’t want our friendship to end and another saying he wanted my wife and I to have a good time Dickens and was sorry he didn’t get the call early enough to join us. I have called him and texted him more then three times asking him to please contact me so we can talk and I haven’t heard anything. I am hurt and at the same time I just don’t care anymore. You can’t accomplish anything if you refuse to talk. Our fight…mainly…was about his feeling that I (and his other friends) only call him when I (or they) are upset. I felt this was untrue. Yes, I do call him often when I am upset, but I have also been calling him a lot to just hang out and I feel he has been reluctant to accept my invitations. There are a number of potential reasons for this. I remember one group exercise we had to do was come up with all these reason for why someone may have done something to hurt us, and not negative things, sweetdarkness87 what was that called? So maybe he is sad because he doesn’t have a job, or embarrassed he can’t really afford to go out, or is busy with a new love her hasn’t told me about yet because he is afraid or something. I donno, but my main beef right now is this refusal to talk. I am just fed up with people and their passive aggressive BS. If someone doesn’t like me or is mad or something please just fess up to it. Don’t avoid my phone calls or defriend me on all the social network site and all that stuff. I say this for a few reasons. First off, I am usually too fucking stupid or busy to notice that you have done this and will continue to call and just assume you are busy. Second noting is accomplished by not talking and I feel that is we ever were close enough to be considered friends then you at least owe me an explanation of what I have done to offend you. Whether I can change you mind or not is irrelevant.
Now, on the flip side I understand needing to distance yourself while you work through you emotions, but if you need to distance yourself to the point that you can talk to me or see me then please tell me, if you can be social or civil in social occasions that is nice and perfered, but I understand needing distance, but usually you get the distance so you can talk things over, and you never know what you will discover by talking to someone. Also, I occasional remove FB friends because I am like “I met them once, talked with then for 20 minutes and have spoken to them in a year” and I just don’t see a point in giving them access to my life. I would like my FB friends to mean something. Maybe that is silly but that is how I feel.
That said I am giving myself a project. I am trying to reconnect with people OUTSIDE of our usual event. I am trying to call all of my friends, my ladies in particular, and see if you wish to hang out. If I don’t call or email you it might be because I don’t have your contact infor so please feel free to call me. I am pretty free until January 26th when I go back to school. I work 2 days a week but have the afternoons free. I am up for anything, shopping, movies, hanging out, whatever. I can meet you somewhere or you can meet me. If it is out side of SF I need directions or and address so I can mapquest.
Right now I am just over people and their passive aggressive BS. Clearly there was something about me that you liked once and I have a hard time believe that either of us has change so much or that I have done something so horrid that you want me out of your life. If I have change I accept that, if I offended you I am sorry and I didn’t meant to (odds are). If it was just the fact that I am nice and you felt you could use me then I am glad you are out of my life but I like to think that most of the people who have made me wonder if I am being taken advantage of didn’t mean too. Maybe that is why I get hurt so much, I am not sure.
I will say this once: Not likeing someone because of who they associate with is just fucking stupid in my opinion. You are entightled to like and not like whoever but if you like me and I like someone you don’t that is fine, but I will not stop liking them for you. I will make sure not to mention them too much to you (If you are clear that you don’t want to ever THINK about them) but you also have to not diss them in front of me because if I feel you are wrong I will defend them. PEROID. If you introduce me to you significant other and we become friends to the point where we hang out with out you, then I maybe continue to hang with them after you guys break up. Again, I will be there for you when you break up and do what I can, but I will not stop being their friend. I will not prade my hanging out with them in front of you and if you are REALLY uncomfortable please talk to me and I will try and understand. I can’t say I will always agree but I will try to see things from your point of view.
Now on the flip side of that, if you introduce me to a friend or a significant other or something, I will try as hard as I can if we hit it off to include you, that is just polite and I would expect the same from you. If I introduce you to a friend and you like them, why can’t we all hang out? The more the merrier right? If you and the other person are an item or me and the person are and item and we are getting in to a “3rd wheel” situation then bring someone else or tell me and I will and it can be a fun group thing. Or you or I may just have to make more of an effort not to be all “couply” in front of the other.
I don’t think any of this is unreasonable and please tell me if it seems so and I will try and clarify. Just be cool people, there is enough BS in the world right now.
The world doesn’t get better as you get older, your pain threshold does.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
You might feel under pressure this week, but if you step back and look at each event separately, you'll notice that most of the pressure is self-imposed. You can relax by organizing tasks into manageable segments and only looking as far forward as you can comfortably go. If you need to deal with a larger event, solicit help so you won't be the only one involved. After meeting a lot of new people, it's nice to spend some time alone with a loved one. That person knows your character so well that you can be completely at ease around them, and that's very useful for helping you rest and recharge. Your financial situation is far better than you think it is, but it's fine to pull a few dollars out of your savings if you need to cover various odds and ends.
Compatibility
Excellent - Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Good - Aries, Leo, Virgo, Pisces
Fair - Gemini, Scorpio, Capricorn
I have had some interesting times with friendships these days. Right before Dickens I got in to a VERY stupid fight with my Best Friend of 9 years. I admit the beginning of the fight was my fault (I was having a bad day) and I am also stating that it takes 2 to fight and he has made it worse by hanging up on me and hasn’t returned one call or text pretty much since then (he responded to one saying he didn’t want our friendship to end and another saying he wanted my wife and I to have a good time Dickens and was sorry he didn’t get the call early enough to join us. I have called him and texted him more then three times asking him to please contact me so we can talk and I haven’t heard anything. I am hurt and at the same time I just don’t care anymore. You can’t accomplish anything if you refuse to talk. Our fight…mainly…was about his feeling that I (and his other friends) only call him when I (or they) are upset. I felt this was untrue. Yes, I do call him often when I am upset, but I have also been calling him a lot to just hang out and I feel he has been reluctant to accept my invitations. There are a number of potential reasons for this. I remember one group exercise we had to do was come up with all these reason for why someone may have done something to hurt us, and not negative things, sweetdarkness87 what was that called? So maybe he is sad because he doesn’t have a job, or embarrassed he can’t really afford to go out, or is busy with a new love her hasn’t told me about yet because he is afraid or something. I donno, but my main beef right now is this refusal to talk. I am just fed up with people and their passive aggressive BS. If someone doesn’t like me or is mad or something please just fess up to it. Don’t avoid my phone calls or defriend me on all the social network site and all that stuff. I say this for a few reasons. First off, I am usually too fucking stupid or busy to notice that you have done this and will continue to call and just assume you are busy. Second noting is accomplished by not talking and I feel that is we ever were close enough to be considered friends then you at least owe me an explanation of what I have done to offend you. Whether I can change you mind or not is irrelevant.
Now, on the flip side I understand needing to distance yourself while you work through you emotions, but if you need to distance yourself to the point that you can talk to me or see me then please tell me, if you can be social or civil in social occasions that is nice and perfered, but I understand needing distance, but usually you get the distance so you can talk things over, and you never know what you will discover by talking to someone. Also, I occasional remove FB friends because I am like “I met them once, talked with then for 20 minutes and have spoken to them in a year” and I just don’t see a point in giving them access to my life. I would like my FB friends to mean something. Maybe that is silly but that is how I feel.
That said I am giving myself a project. I am trying to reconnect with people OUTSIDE of our usual event. I am trying to call all of my friends, my ladies in particular, and see if you wish to hang out. If I don’t call or email you it might be because I don’t have your contact infor so please feel free to call me. I am pretty free until January 26th when I go back to school. I work 2 days a week but have the afternoons free. I am up for anything, shopping, movies, hanging out, whatever. I can meet you somewhere or you can meet me. If it is out side of SF I need directions or and address so I can mapquest.
Right now I am just over people and their passive aggressive BS. Clearly there was something about me that you liked once and I have a hard time believe that either of us has change so much or that I have done something so horrid that you want me out of your life. If I have change I accept that, if I offended you I am sorry and I didn’t meant to (odds are). If it was just the fact that I am nice and you felt you could use me then I am glad you are out of my life but I like to think that most of the people who have made me wonder if I am being taken advantage of didn’t mean too. Maybe that is why I get hurt so much, I am not sure.
I will say this once: Not likeing someone because of who they associate with is just fucking stupid in my opinion. You are entightled to like and not like whoever but if you like me and I like someone you don’t that is fine, but I will not stop liking them for you. I will make sure not to mention them too much to you (If you are clear that you don’t want to ever THINK about them) but you also have to not diss them in front of me because if I feel you are wrong I will defend them. PEROID. If you introduce me to you significant other and we become friends to the point where we hang out with out you, then I maybe continue to hang with them after you guys break up. Again, I will be there for you when you break up and do what I can, but I will not stop being their friend. I will not prade my hanging out with them in front of you and if you are REALLY uncomfortable please talk to me and I will try and understand. I can’t say I will always agree but I will try to see things from your point of view.
Now on the flip side of that, if you introduce me to a friend or a significant other or something, I will try as hard as I can if we hit it off to include you, that is just polite and I would expect the same from you. If I introduce you to a friend and you like them, why can’t we all hang out? The more the merrier right? If you and the other person are an item or me and the person are and item and we are getting in to a “3rd wheel” situation then bring someone else or tell me and I will and it can be a fun group thing. Or you or I may just have to make more of an effort not to be all “couply” in front of the other.
I don’t think any of this is unreasonable and please tell me if it seems so and I will try and clarify. Just be cool people, there is enough BS in the world right now.
The world doesn’t get better as you get older, your pain threshold does.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
You might feel under pressure this week, but if you step back and look at each event separately, you'll notice that most of the pressure is self-imposed. You can relax by organizing tasks into manageable segments and only looking as far forward as you can comfortably go. If you need to deal with a larger event, solicit help so you won't be the only one involved. After meeting a lot of new people, it's nice to spend some time alone with a loved one. That person knows your character so well that you can be completely at ease around them, and that's very useful for helping you rest and recharge. Your financial situation is far better than you think it is, but it's fine to pull a few dollars out of your savings if you need to cover various odds and ends.
Compatibility
Excellent - Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Good - Aries, Leo, Virgo, Pisces
Fair - Gemini, Scorpio, Capricorn