ONE friend in the 117...Please God?

[wolfe_girl87]

I wish I had a person i could talk to right now who  I could truat and I know Wouldn't bite my face off like the rents.  I know I have a lot of people who care and I am thankful but alot of it is internal.  I have a hard tome sharing something with people because I am afraid of being judged.  I worry everyone judges me.  Therapy has made me very aware of that.  I am constantly thinking about what people are thinking about me so that is a hard thing to do when all you want to do is let your guard down and cry.  I really only have one person right now I can do that with and that is Geoff.  I really care about him and he care about me but not to much.  What I mean is I feel like i can talk to him and he can forget about what I say when the phone hangs up and just go on with his life.  I need that a lot right now.  I worry that people won't be able to drop what I say after I say it.  I am not sure how to describe it more then that.

Maybe that is why I like having my mystery first so much.  a Ghost can't worry about me too much,  or something like that.  I donno.  I wish we were still plaing our guessing game.

I find out soon if I got into Santa Cruz. I am still working on the USF app.  who knows where I will wind up.

I need to redecorate again...I need to change my life.  things are too complicated.....