I must confess --- I'm in love with my own sins
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
1.) Yet again, I’m awesome. Be aware of this.
2.) Even just a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to say that. Not because I’m not, but because I wouldn’t have had the self-confidence or esteem.
3.) I’m the only person in my circle of friends that has actual, serious daddy issues that I know of.
4.) If it wasn’t for Abi, I’d probably have slipped and be dead by now.
5.) I used to look forward to the possibilities of new relationships and entering those relationships. Nowadays, the person has to be pretty fucking special - especially since I’m constantly comparing them to Abi in my mind. Only one person has ever made the cut, and there are complications there - one of which is that they live two hours away and I like to cuddle.
6.) I’m an amazing idiot, to be honest. I manage to fuck up the simplest things just because I don’t stop and actually think. Spur-of-the-moment decisions are very bad for me.
7.) I’m more than likely going to end up alone (romantically speaking) when I’m old. If only because I’ll never truly love anyone else.
8.) I seriously got pissed off at my doctor when she told me I had to lose 10 pounds because I didn’t want to. Not because I was lazy and didn’t want to expend the effort, but because I’d finally become comfortable with my body and didn’t want to change that.
9.) I didn’t have a best friend until I was 13. Now, I’ve got 5 and one of them is the same one from when I was 13.
10.) I will always love Hoobastank because they brought me together with Tenny, that very same best friend.
11.) Coincidently, Tenny was straight when we first became friends. About 5 years later, she’s been with a very nice young woman for two years. I apparently have that effect on people.
12.) I have a problem with looking people in the eyes - not because I’m being dishonest, but because it makes me nervous. It’s a leftover from my low self-esteem days.
13.) I absolutely love learning new languages - and I seem to have a really good grasp on them. I know enough of the major business languages (German, Spanish, some French) to get to someone who either knows A) how to get to the Metro or airport, B) how to get to a person that speaks a language I’m fluent in (German, English, mostly in the case of Spanish), or C) how to get to a telephone to call my Mama XD
14.) I make it a priority to not stress over shit. This is part of the reason why I’m a procrastinator. If something’s gotta happen, it’s gotta happen. If something’s happened, it’s happened. Me stressing is not going to change these facts. Some things, however, do slip through my ‘Keep Out: Stress Blockers Ahead’ wall. I am not, however, ever likely to have a stress-related illness.
15.) I’m supposed to be sleeping (3:45 AM) since we have to get up really early tomorrow (8:00 AM to leave at 9:00 AM), but instead, I’m entertaining you guys =D
16.) I set my alarm clock at exactly the same time every day - I don’t bother with the ‘snooze’ button, I just smack the ‘off’ button and roll over XD
17.) When I was a child, I honestly hated my mama for driving my daddy away. And then I found out just exactly what kind of man my daddy was and that hate turned into respect for making it.
18.) Everything I ever needed to know about life, I learned at my mama’s knee. The only regret that will ever come from not having children will be robbing my unborn child the chance of learning the same things and experiencing my mama’s love.
19.) I carried guilt around for years because I thought that I was the reason my daddy left. From the time I was 9 until I was about 16, I thought it was my fault my daddy didn’t love me anymore. (Hello, daddy issues!) For almost a decade, I constantly tortured myself with thoughts of ‘What if?’ This is the primary reason of why I don’t stress anymore. This is also one of the things that has managed to slip through my wall, especially recently.
20.) The man I proudly refer to as my dad is not actually my dad but my stepdad. This doesn’t matter to me - he didn’t have to love me, but he did anyway. My own biological father stopped loving me after 9 years. I know, for a bonafide fact, that Dad won’t. This fills me with joy every time I realize this. My parents’ 9th anniversary is in about 6 months - 9 years after he met me, Dad will continue to love me. Even 19 years down the road, I know Dad will still love me.
21.) I make a point to tell my loved ones that I do love them every time I leave their presence. I also make a point to tell them I love them randomly, so they won’t think I only say it out of habit. I’m very likely to start at the top of a conversation with ‘I love you.’
22.) I’m very in touch with my feelings (in case you haven’t already noticed), and I don’t like to be in denial. I’m very upfront with myself on all matters, and I make a point to call myself on my bullshit. In a lot of ways, I’m the only person I’ve never lied to.
23.) I very much plan to be an activist, but not the average one. I plan to search out the obscure causes, the ones that don’t get a lot of attention, and help them instead of the WWF or UNICEF or things like that (although they are very much appreciated). I’d much rather go without and help someone or something than have everything I’ve ever wanted and leave them suffering. So, pretty much, my future salary will never see my bank account XD
24.) I like to make these things more serious than they need to - if only because it feels good to get these types of things off of my chest. Also, it helps me think - about myself, my past, my present, and my future.
25.) I am a complete and utter pansy, contrary to popular belief. I cry every time Mufasa dies, I don’t hold my emotions in, I bawled like a baby the first time I stayed at the shelter during the euthanasia time (not because of the euthanizing, but because the ‘helpers’ dragged Cujo, the almost wild old-man-of-a-dog that adored me and only me, out onto the rough, cold cement before the sedative had even fully kicked in. He was an old gentleman of a dog, and I adored him right back), and I cry every time I write to my favorite author to give her feedback on her stories. Class, say hello to Emo!Mariah.
1.) Yet again, I’m awesome. Be aware of this.
2.) Even just a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to say that. Not because I’m not, but because I wouldn’t have had the self-confidence or esteem.
3.) I’m the only person in my circle of friends that has actual, serious daddy issues that I know of.
4.) If it wasn’t for Abi, I’d probably have slipped and be dead by now.
5.) I used to look forward to the possibilities of new relationships and entering those relationships. Nowadays, the person has to be pretty fucking special - especially since I’m constantly comparing them to Abi in my mind. Only one person has ever made the cut, and there are complications there - one of which is that they live two hours away and I like to cuddle.
6.) I’m an amazing idiot, to be honest. I manage to fuck up the simplest things just because I don’t stop and actually think. Spur-of-the-moment decisions are very bad for me.
7.) I’m more than likely going to end up alone (romantically speaking) when I’m old. If only because I’ll never truly love anyone else.
8.) I seriously got pissed off at my doctor when she told me I had to lose 10 pounds because I didn’t want to. Not because I was lazy and didn’t want to expend the effort, but because I’d finally become comfortable with my body and didn’t want to change that.
9.) I didn’t have a best friend until I was 13. Now, I’ve got 5 and one of them is the same one from when I was 13.
10.) I will always love Hoobastank because they brought me together with Tenny, that very same best friend.
11.) Coincidently, Tenny was straight when we first became friends. About 5 years later, she’s been with a very nice young woman for two years. I apparently have that effect on people.
12.) I have a problem with looking people in the eyes - not because I’m being dishonest, but because it makes me nervous. It’s a leftover from my low self-esteem days.
13.) I absolutely love learning new languages - and I seem to have a really good grasp on them. I know enough of the major business languages (German, Spanish, some French) to get to someone who either knows A) how to get to the Metro or airport, B) how to get to a person that speaks a language I’m fluent in (German, English, mostly in the case of Spanish), or C) how to get to a telephone to call my Mama XD
14.) I make it a priority to not stress over shit. This is part of the reason why I’m a procrastinator. If something’s gotta happen, it’s gotta happen. If something’s happened, it’s happened. Me stressing is not going to change these facts. Some things, however, do slip through my ‘Keep Out: Stress Blockers Ahead’ wall. I am not, however, ever likely to have a stress-related illness.
15.) I’m supposed to be sleeping (3:45 AM) since we have to get up really early tomorrow (8:00 AM to leave at 9:00 AM), but instead, I’m entertaining you guys =D
16.) I set my alarm clock at exactly the same time every day - I don’t bother with the ‘snooze’ button, I just smack the ‘off’ button and roll over XD
17.) When I was a child, I honestly hated my mama for driving my daddy away. And then I found out just exactly what kind of man my daddy was and that hate turned into respect for making it.
18.) Everything I ever needed to know about life, I learned at my mama’s knee. The only regret that will ever come from not having children will be robbing my unborn child the chance of learning the same things and experiencing my mama’s love.
19.) I carried guilt around for years because I thought that I was the reason my daddy left. From the time I was 9 until I was about 16, I thought it was my fault my daddy didn’t love me anymore. (Hello, daddy issues!) For almost a decade, I constantly tortured myself with thoughts of ‘What if?’ This is the primary reason of why I don’t stress anymore. This is also one of the things that has managed to slip through my wall, especially recently.
20.) The man I proudly refer to as my dad is not actually my dad but my stepdad. This doesn’t matter to me - he didn’t have to love me, but he did anyway. My own biological father stopped loving me after 9 years. I know, for a bonafide fact, that Dad won’t. This fills me with joy every time I realize this. My parents’ 9th anniversary is in about 6 months - 9 years after he met me, Dad will continue to love me. Even 19 years down the road, I know Dad will still love me.
21.) I make a point to tell my loved ones that I do love them every time I leave their presence. I also make a point to tell them I love them randomly, so they won’t think I only say it out of habit. I’m very likely to start at the top of a conversation with ‘I love you.’
22.) I’m very in touch with my feelings (in case you haven’t already noticed), and I don’t like to be in denial. I’m very upfront with myself on all matters, and I make a point to call myself on my bullshit. In a lot of ways, I’m the only person I’ve never lied to.
23.) I very much plan to be an activist, but not the average one. I plan to search out the obscure causes, the ones that don’t get a lot of attention, and help them instead of the WWF or UNICEF or things like that (although they are very much appreciated). I’d much rather go without and help someone or something than have everything I’ve ever wanted and leave them suffering. So, pretty much, my future salary will never see my bank account XD
24.) I like to make these things more serious than they need to - if only because it feels good to get these types of things off of my chest. Also, it helps me think - about myself, my past, my present, and my future.
25.) I am a complete and utter pansy, contrary to popular belief. I cry every time Mufasa dies, I don’t hold my emotions in, I bawled like a baby the first time I stayed at the shelter during the euthanasia time (not because of the euthanizing, but because the ‘helpers’ dragged Cujo, the almost wild old-man-of-a-dog that adored me and only me, out onto the rough, cold cement before the sedative had even fully kicked in. He was an old gentleman of a dog, and I adored him right back), and I cry every time I write to my favorite author to give her feedback on her stories. Class, say hello to Emo!Mariah.