Of Girlfriends and Babies
I have been living in Vancouver for just about a year now - I would have started my internship at the Aquarium around this time last year *is too lazy to go into archives and check dates* but in some ways it still doesn't really feel like home. I love the mountains, and I have favorite restaurants, and I'm definitely starting to put down roots. I'm pretty happy here, really. But it still doesn't feel REAL. I don't have a real sense of the geography, for example. People here talk about "the Valley" and "the Island" as casually and familiarly as I would have living in NS... but they are referring to places that I have no mental schema for. Their valley is not my valley, their island not the island I know.
This is changing slowly with time - I'm almost starting to learn my way around the city. Or parts of it, at least. But I still don't feel like I really belong here.
It has always taken me a couple of years to settle into a new city, with the exception of Sackville which I settled into within a month, so this is not Vancouver's fault.
What I'm noticing most, though, is missing having girlfriends. I see Ivy and her fiance Sonja on a regular basis - every two weeks or so. It used to be every week, but things got busy and we see them less. I liked it better when it was weekly. I like routine. I love Ivy and Sonja, but a) they won't be around forever - Ivy wants to go on to Memorial University once she finishes her degree at SFU - and b) they are a friend couple, not my personal friends. Basically, we double date, only with board games and home cooked gumbo (Sonja cooks GREAT bayou food) instead of nights out on the town. Although we have those as well, sometimes.
Besides, in that group of people I'm the only person not attracted to women.
What I miss is having a real GIRLFRIEND - someone to go to really sappy chick flicks with and giggle with over a drink late at night. Someone like Maeghan or Suman or Jenn who is MY friend personally.
I've really been doing fine out here over the last year, mostly because Benn basically fills all my needs. He's my best friend. I can confide in him, share with him, giggle with him, all of the same things I would do with Maeghan or Suman, and more. I could live a relatively happy life with no other friend but him, and I never get tired of him. But still, I miss having my friends nearby.
I think it has been emphasized lately by the girls at my work. I am becoming friends with them, and I like them a lot, but they already have pre-established friendships with eachother, so I'm still at the outer edge. More than that, though, my friend/coworker Keryn has several close buddies, and sometimes she tells me about her evenings out with them. She recently hooked up with an old high school friend, who has been away in Europe for months, and she told me about their awesome night out, catching up, eating cheesecake, sitting in Keryn's truck outside of her friend's house spending hours finishing their conversation. And I felt a pang of jealousy. Because I MISS that. I know I must, because my last night in Wolfville - the ONE night in between arriving from Europe and going back to BC - I went to Paddy's to meet up with Maeghan for half an hour... and came home hours later to find everyone in bed.
And when I think ahead to the future, tryign to plan when we want to start having kids (okay, WANT = right now, so I should use the term SHOULD) and I keep trying to factor in ways that my friends can see me both while pregnant and also after having the baby.
"Okay, so if I'm five months pregnant at Christmas I can still fly, and I can see them then while still pregnant. Oh, but then we'd be spending the next Christmas here, so they wouldn't see the baby. And Jenn wouldn't see me at either time because she goes to Ontario for Christmas. Okay, so if I have a baby in time for the 2010 Olympics, Jenn will see the baby because she's coming here to crash at our place during the Olympics. But then I'd probably be having the baby in January or something, which means I'd be too pregnant to fly next Christmas, and it's kind of soon. Okay, so if I'm PREGNANT during the Olympics Jenn will at least see me pregnant... This is all kind of soon, though. But we WANT a baby soon, but can we financially handle a baby by 2010..."
and so on.
Argh. I miss you all. Move out here. I can't leave. I have an awesome job, and it's great out here. But I want friends.
This is changing slowly with time - I'm almost starting to learn my way around the city. Or parts of it, at least. But I still don't feel like I really belong here.
It has always taken me a couple of years to settle into a new city, with the exception of Sackville which I settled into within a month, so this is not Vancouver's fault.
What I'm noticing most, though, is missing having girlfriends. I see Ivy and her fiance Sonja on a regular basis - every two weeks or so. It used to be every week, but things got busy and we see them less. I liked it better when it was weekly. I like routine. I love Ivy and Sonja, but a) they won't be around forever - Ivy wants to go on to Memorial University once she finishes her degree at SFU - and b) they are a friend couple, not my personal friends. Basically, we double date, only with board games and home cooked gumbo (Sonja cooks GREAT bayou food) instead of nights out on the town. Although we have those as well, sometimes.
Besides, in that group of people I'm the only person not attracted to women.
What I miss is having a real GIRLFRIEND - someone to go to really sappy chick flicks with and giggle with over a drink late at night. Someone like Maeghan or Suman or Jenn who is MY friend personally.
I've really been doing fine out here over the last year, mostly because Benn basically fills all my needs. He's my best friend. I can confide in him, share with him, giggle with him, all of the same things I would do with Maeghan or Suman, and more. I could live a relatively happy life with no other friend but him, and I never get tired of him. But still, I miss having my friends nearby.
I think it has been emphasized lately by the girls at my work. I am becoming friends with them, and I like them a lot, but they already have pre-established friendships with eachother, so I'm still at the outer edge. More than that, though, my friend/coworker Keryn has several close buddies, and sometimes she tells me about her evenings out with them. She recently hooked up with an old high school friend, who has been away in Europe for months, and she told me about their awesome night out, catching up, eating cheesecake, sitting in Keryn's truck outside of her friend's house spending hours finishing their conversation. And I felt a pang of jealousy. Because I MISS that. I know I must, because my last night in Wolfville - the ONE night in between arriving from Europe and going back to BC - I went to Paddy's to meet up with Maeghan for half an hour... and came home hours later to find everyone in bed.
And when I think ahead to the future, tryign to plan when we want to start having kids (okay, WANT = right now, so I should use the term SHOULD) and I keep trying to factor in ways that my friends can see me both while pregnant and also after having the baby.
"Okay, so if I'm five months pregnant at Christmas I can still fly, and I can see them then while still pregnant. Oh, but then we'd be spending the next Christmas here, so they wouldn't see the baby. And Jenn wouldn't see me at either time because she goes to Ontario for Christmas. Okay, so if I have a baby in time for the 2010 Olympics, Jenn will see the baby because she's coming here to crash at our place during the Olympics. But then I'd probably be having the baby in January or something, which means I'd be too pregnant to fly next Christmas, and it's kind of soon. Okay, so if I'm PREGNANT during the Olympics Jenn will at least see me pregnant... This is all kind of soon, though. But we WANT a baby soon, but can we financially handle a baby by 2010..."
and so on.
Argh. I miss you all. Move out here. I can't leave. I have an awesome job, and it's great out here. But I want friends.