US White Folk Love Everything.
Let me share a little secret with y'all. Not much of a secret, but some people in the world seems to have missed it. Now, I want to talk about white folks. Not necessarily all white folk, and not excluding other white folk, but focusing on American white folk. And not excluding other Americans, or other non-white non-Americans, I'm not saying others can't be or won't be like this, but for now, focusin' on US white folk. And this 'secret' is ... US White Folk love EVERYTHING.
We love our own culture. If we're Austrian, we think Edelweiss is the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful song in existence, right up alongside the Star-Spangled Banner. If we're Italian, you better believe our mom has a great spaghetti recipe. If we're Scottish, we know our crest, our family motto, our tartan. And if we identify as American, well, you better believe America's the best damn country in the world! And while we want you to love American too, well, hell. You better love YOUR own culture as well!
See, we white folk expect everyone to love to talk about their culture. We'll sit down together and talk about ours. "What are you?" "Irish and Scottish. You?" "Oh, mostly Austrian, a little Polish, and a whole lotta other stuff. And you?" "Oh, I'm British and Scandinavian." We will go for details, we'll talk about food, and music, and swap anecdotes, and histories. We'll talk about family, and when our family came over, and what our family did during World War II. And frankly, if you're *not* white folk, we want to hear about your cultures *just* as much! Possibly even more, because seriously? We've heard most of ours.
WE LOVE other people's cultures. You can see it in our movies. If we have a Native American guy in the movie, then that Native American guy is in tune with nature, and the spirit world, and knows EVERYTHING. Not because we think all Native American guys are like that, but because we white folk can't resist putting EVERYTHING that makes us giddy about the collective amalgamation of Native American Culture into that one representative. Because we LOVE IT and this is our chance to CELEBRATE it! Likewise, if you see some little old Asian dude, you better believe he'll kick your ass while spouting wisdom like Ghandi. You see an Australian guy in a movie? He's a world-wanderer who's *seen* stuff. He's *been* there and *done* it. And heck, wanna get into other kinds of sub-cultures? Long before there was a 'gay rights movement', we had gay folks as the best friends of main characters. Heck. We had more gay folks in movies *before* the gay rights movement than since it got big! Sure, they were kinda goofy, but they had ZEST for LIFE and we LOVED them for it! This is our chance to get other people's philosophies boiled down into quick little snippets in a 2-hour movie because it FASCINATES us!
And talk bout cultural holidays? On Saint Patrick's, the whole nation turns green. Green waters flow in Chicago, and everyone's wearing, "I'm not Irish but kiss me anyway!' t-shirts. On Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican Fourth of July, *everyone's* eating tacos and burritos and enjoying some salsa. And if the wonderful and colorful cultural holiday Kwanzaa has become hadn't been set on Christmas to represent everything the racist and sexist woman-torturing bastard of an inventor had hated about white people, but instead had been set in March or June, you'd better believe that Kwanzaa would be just as big and popular!
And yeah. We kinda blend together Native American cultures, or Asian cultures, but let's be fair - they do it a lot themselves, too. You can go rent an anime, and it'll be a Japanese girl going back in time, except really she's in China, not Japan... but for some reason, they've got the Korean spirit beasts there. Their written languages blend, their mythologies blend, you expect us to keep it separate? That's like asking someone from Japan to differentiate between Roman and Greek myths! Heck, can *you*? What's the relationship between Venus and Aphrodite? And we don't care if they mix it up. If they take a Norse goddess, make her an angel in a Christian heaven, and have her read tarot to do some crazy holy Voodoo ... we'll think that's awesome! It's new and imaginative and WOW!
We love how people talk. We might make fun of it sometimes, but we *love* accents. Girls will get weak in the knees at a good Irish or British or Australian accent, and guys love a good Cockney gal, and even at the height of the cold war, there wasn't a red-blooded American Male alive who didn't think that gals with Russian accents weren't drop-dead sexy.
We love the *clothes*. Kimonos and Samauri, Ancient Arabian, Ancient Hebrew, Mezo-American, Mexican. Guys can't resist a gal in an old-fashioned Spanish dress, or a German barmaid's costume. And gals get absolutely gooey over ANY guy in a kilt.
We love the *music*. Like I said, if you're Austrian-American, the two most gorgeous pieces of music in the WORLD are Edelweiss and the Star-Spangled Banner. But that won't stop us from weeping at a good rendition of Danny Boy, or tingling at the incredible notes of Ode to Joy. We get all bouncy at a good Irish Jig, or much as we make fun of it, we can't help smiling and enjoying it when the whole room is singing along with "ROOOOLLL OUT THE BARREL!" We love Jazz and Blues and Rap, we love Country *and* Western. We just stare in awe at the incredible notes you get out of one of those weird Japanese lap-harp thingies, and we get all bouncy in the knee when some African tribal music is happening. We wanna learn one of those dances. We know we'll look stupid, but it looks *FUN*. We'll plug in a CD and listen to the music of a few black guys in a random post office in Africa making music with a stapler, a scissors, and a fist on the table. It's *amazing*. Why can't our workplaces be like that? Or mezo-american drumming? Or those Korean drummers? DAMN! That's like full-body full-contact EXTREME music, man! That's INCREDIBLE!
We love the *FOOD*. OHMYGOSH the food. We love Bratwurst and Spaghetti and Pizza and Hamburgers. Guinness is like the GOD of beers. We love Potatoes, we love Vodka, we love Gyros. Give us Thai food, we love Mongolian BBQ, and oh my *gosh* do we love stir-fry and potstickers and Chinese buffets! WE LOVE TACOS! Walk into Applebee's. It's awesome. You'll see a little old Oriental couple sitting together eating Italian food. You'll see a big Mexican family eating stir-fry, burgers, and fried chicken. You'll see a multicultural group of high-school kids eating chicken-bacon ranch tacos. THAT IS AMERICA!
Yeah, you'll get a few dicks. That's unavoidable, and you can't brainwash the entire population to weed those out. But look at the vast, vast majority of white folks. You want someone who *appreciates* and *LOVES* other cultures? Go to the white folks of the US of A, because dammit, WE LOVE EVERYTHING! So stop telling us that the reason we have some opinion is cause we hate other cultures! Sense! It makes none!
We love our own culture. If we're Austrian, we think Edelweiss is the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful song in existence, right up alongside the Star-Spangled Banner. If we're Italian, you better believe our mom has a great spaghetti recipe. If we're Scottish, we know our crest, our family motto, our tartan. And if we identify as American, well, you better believe America's the best damn country in the world! And while we want you to love American too, well, hell. You better love YOUR own culture as well!
See, we white folk expect everyone to love to talk about their culture. We'll sit down together and talk about ours. "What are you?" "Irish and Scottish. You?" "Oh, mostly Austrian, a little Polish, and a whole lotta other stuff. And you?" "Oh, I'm British and Scandinavian." We will go for details, we'll talk about food, and music, and swap anecdotes, and histories. We'll talk about family, and when our family came over, and what our family did during World War II. And frankly, if you're *not* white folk, we want to hear about your cultures *just* as much! Possibly even more, because seriously? We've heard most of ours.
WE LOVE other people's cultures. You can see it in our movies. If we have a Native American guy in the movie, then that Native American guy is in tune with nature, and the spirit world, and knows EVERYTHING. Not because we think all Native American guys are like that, but because we white folk can't resist putting EVERYTHING that makes us giddy about the collective amalgamation of Native American Culture into that one representative. Because we LOVE IT and this is our chance to CELEBRATE it! Likewise, if you see some little old Asian dude, you better believe he'll kick your ass while spouting wisdom like Ghandi. You see an Australian guy in a movie? He's a world-wanderer who's *seen* stuff. He's *been* there and *done* it. And heck, wanna get into other kinds of sub-cultures? Long before there was a 'gay rights movement', we had gay folks as the best friends of main characters. Heck. We had more gay folks in movies *before* the gay rights movement than since it got big! Sure, they were kinda goofy, but they had ZEST for LIFE and we LOVED them for it! This is our chance to get other people's philosophies boiled down into quick little snippets in a 2-hour movie because it FASCINATES us!
And talk bout cultural holidays? On Saint Patrick's, the whole nation turns green. Green waters flow in Chicago, and everyone's wearing, "I'm not Irish but kiss me anyway!' t-shirts. On Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican Fourth of July, *everyone's* eating tacos and burritos and enjoying some salsa. And if the wonderful and colorful cultural holiday Kwanzaa has become hadn't been set on Christmas to represent everything the racist and sexist woman-torturing bastard of an inventor had hated about white people, but instead had been set in March or June, you'd better believe that Kwanzaa would be just as big and popular!
And yeah. We kinda blend together Native American cultures, or Asian cultures, but let's be fair - they do it a lot themselves, too. You can go rent an anime, and it'll be a Japanese girl going back in time, except really she's in China, not Japan... but for some reason, they've got the Korean spirit beasts there. Their written languages blend, their mythologies blend, you expect us to keep it separate? That's like asking someone from Japan to differentiate between Roman and Greek myths! Heck, can *you*? What's the relationship between Venus and Aphrodite? And we don't care if they mix it up. If they take a Norse goddess, make her an angel in a Christian heaven, and have her read tarot to do some crazy holy Voodoo ... we'll think that's awesome! It's new and imaginative and WOW!
We love how people talk. We might make fun of it sometimes, but we *love* accents. Girls will get weak in the knees at a good Irish or British or Australian accent, and guys love a good Cockney gal, and even at the height of the cold war, there wasn't a red-blooded American Male alive who didn't think that gals with Russian accents weren't drop-dead sexy.
We love the *clothes*. Kimonos and Samauri, Ancient Arabian, Ancient Hebrew, Mezo-American, Mexican. Guys can't resist a gal in an old-fashioned Spanish dress, or a German barmaid's costume. And gals get absolutely gooey over ANY guy in a kilt.
We love the *music*. Like I said, if you're Austrian-American, the two most gorgeous pieces of music in the WORLD are Edelweiss and the Star-Spangled Banner. But that won't stop us from weeping at a good rendition of Danny Boy, or tingling at the incredible notes of Ode to Joy. We get all bouncy at a good Irish Jig, or much as we make fun of it, we can't help smiling and enjoying it when the whole room is singing along with "ROOOOLLL OUT THE BARREL!" We love Jazz and Blues and Rap, we love Country *and* Western. We just stare in awe at the incredible notes you get out of one of those weird Japanese lap-harp thingies, and we get all bouncy in the knee when some African tribal music is happening. We wanna learn one of those dances. We know we'll look stupid, but it looks *FUN*. We'll plug in a CD and listen to the music of a few black guys in a random post office in Africa making music with a stapler, a scissors, and a fist on the table. It's *amazing*. Why can't our workplaces be like that? Or mezo-american drumming? Or those Korean drummers? DAMN! That's like full-body full-contact EXTREME music, man! That's INCREDIBLE!
We love the *FOOD*. OHMYGOSH the food. We love Bratwurst and Spaghetti and Pizza and Hamburgers. Guinness is like the GOD of beers. We love Potatoes, we love Vodka, we love Gyros. Give us Thai food, we love Mongolian BBQ, and oh my *gosh* do we love stir-fry and potstickers and Chinese buffets! WE LOVE TACOS! Walk into Applebee's. It's awesome. You'll see a little old Oriental couple sitting together eating Italian food. You'll see a big Mexican family eating stir-fry, burgers, and fried chicken. You'll see a multicultural group of high-school kids eating chicken-bacon ranch tacos. THAT IS AMERICA!
Yeah, you'll get a few dicks. That's unavoidable, and you can't brainwash the entire population to weed those out. But look at the vast, vast majority of white folks. You want someone who *appreciates* and *LOVES* other cultures? Go to the white folks of the US of A, because dammit, WE LOVE EVERYTHING! So stop telling us that the reason we have some opinion is cause we hate other cultures! Sense! It makes none!