Don't Know What I'm Doing
Uhh, I am so confused. Everything in my life is happening so quickly, I feel like time froze and I'm behind everyone else.
You see, my parents are getting a divorce, and it's getting to the point where they hate each other so much they might go to court.
And let's not forget my brother. He's suicidal and I'm constantly scared that I'll come home and he'll be dead.
But the worst part of it all is that I can't show any emotion at all. Even when I'm sitting there, being poked in the neck VERY SHARPLY by my laughing brother, I can't do anything. If I do, he'll kill himslef.
And my parents. I hate my dad, I seriously hate him for what he's done to me. And my mom is such a hypocrite it's not even funny. I've wanted to emancipate from my family since I was 13, when I found out that you could.
So I'm basically alone, isolated from everyone else who has a real family that loves them.
Here's something I wrote in the book I'm trying to get published:
"I’m like the dog that was abandoned as a puppy, thrown out on the streets and left to die, alone and forgotten. Beaten and forced outside in the elements. The hand that reaches out to pet me is the one I snap at. I don’t trust anyone, only myself...
...I stopped loving my family, and started hating.
Because love hurts more than hate.
Because when you love someone, they can hurt you without even realizing it.
Because when you love, you give away a piece of your heart.
I made the mistake of loving, and now look at me. I’m a miserable person, because everyone who ever loved me died or hurt me beyond imagination."
I don't know what to do. I'm so confused.
~Serena
You see, my parents are getting a divorce, and it's getting to the point where they hate each other so much they might go to court.
And let's not forget my brother. He's suicidal and I'm constantly scared that I'll come home and he'll be dead.
But the worst part of it all is that I can't show any emotion at all. Even when I'm sitting there, being poked in the neck VERY SHARPLY by my laughing brother, I can't do anything. If I do, he'll kill himslef.
And my parents. I hate my dad, I seriously hate him for what he's done to me. And my mom is such a hypocrite it's not even funny. I've wanted to emancipate from my family since I was 13, when I found out that you could.
So I'm basically alone, isolated from everyone else who has a real family that loves them.
Here's something I wrote in the book I'm trying to get published:
"I’m like the dog that was abandoned as a puppy, thrown out on the streets and left to die, alone and forgotten. Beaten and forced outside in the elements. The hand that reaches out to pet me is the one I snap at. I don’t trust anyone, only myself...
...I stopped loving my family, and started hating.
Because love hurts more than hate.
Because when you love someone, they can hurt you without even realizing it.
Because when you love, you give away a piece of your heart.
I made the mistake of loving, and now look at me. I’m a miserable person, because everyone who ever loved me died or hurt me beyond imagination."
I don't know what to do. I'm so confused.
~Serena