(no subject)
"Get your fix now/ Get your fix now/ Inaction/ Reaction"
For the past few days, I've been going crazy.
In a series of decidedly unfortunate events, I haven't been able to procure a loan for this semester- and yet, here I set in a dorm room, frantically searching for a means to keep myself here. A means, ultimately, to finish what I began. A year left, and roughly $17,000 is required to keep me going, in books, and relatively comfortable until everything is said and done.
I have until Wednesday. I haven't felt this tense and alive in ages. I have, since situating myself, been more social, active, and probably more focused on what matters than I have been on anything else to date. It's amazing what one does when they know- not think, know- their life could potentially collapse upon itself with incredible alacrity. It's a weird sort of empowerment. A feeling of self one gets from knowing one has nothing to lose, on a vastly lesser scale. A certain tingling of the spine, a tenseness of wits and a voracity to stimuli. It's as though life itself smashed itself forcefully into high gear.
I can't really describe the full range of what I am feeling, and it's frustrating me. I guess this will suffice.
Since when did everything hold so much wonder?
"You got your fix now/ Bet you this now/ Distraction/ Inaction"
For the past few days, I've been going crazy.
In a series of decidedly unfortunate events, I haven't been able to procure a loan for this semester- and yet, here I set in a dorm room, frantically searching for a means to keep myself here. A means, ultimately, to finish what I began. A year left, and roughly $17,000 is required to keep me going, in books, and relatively comfortable until everything is said and done.
I have until Wednesday. I haven't felt this tense and alive in ages. I have, since situating myself, been more social, active, and probably more focused on what matters than I have been on anything else to date. It's amazing what one does when they know- not think, know- their life could potentially collapse upon itself with incredible alacrity. It's a weird sort of empowerment. A feeling of self one gets from knowing one has nothing to lose, on a vastly lesser scale. A certain tingling of the spine, a tenseness of wits and a voracity to stimuli. It's as though life itself smashed itself forcefully into high gear.
I can't really describe the full range of what I am feeling, and it's frustrating me. I guess this will suffice.
Since when did everything hold so much wonder?
"You got your fix now/ Bet you this now/ Distraction/ Inaction"