of realizations and changes
Normally, Dany awoke with the low throb of a child pressed against her full bladder, and while that was true this morning, it wasn't quite at the forefront of her mind like it normally was. She awoke instead with a start, eyes snapping open and with a sharp intake of breath. She and Galahad weren't on speaking terms since she'd done the right thing and ended things with him. She'd dishonoured himself and her too many times to bear it any longer, and though she'd told him that there was no other man, but that instead she could not love a lowly knight, the truth had been there in her eyes. And now he was gone. She could feel it in her very core. Slowly, in an attempt to let Billy sleep, Dany shifted and padded outside to make water.
This was her fault, she thought after she had finished and looked upon her sleeping mare. It was her fault that Drogo had died and her fault still now that Galahad had disappeared. She pulled her duster closed tightly around her swollen frame, hoping against hope that she'd be able to forgive herself for what she'd done. Mistakes had been made. She was following down the same path Cersei had made, winning people over with her body instead of her mind as she ought to have been doing. She had to correct them. She glanced back over at the house to where she believed Billy was still sleeping. Had she made a mistake with him as well? No. No, in her heart of hearts she knew he had not. He'd be noble and true as best as he could. The child needed a father and the only choice she had left was Billy.
Certainly she couldn't talk to Ned about all of this, or even Lyanna, much as she wanted to. She'd only given Lyanna bits and pieces of information. Billy was here to look after her, nothing more. That meant that more and more would change between them.
Already she was getting attached.
Galahad was gone.
There was no use in mourning him, but still Dany couldn't keep the few scant tears that tracked hot paths down her face from falling. Gods how she'd proven Viserys right, and Cersei and everyone else in Quarth and Astapor that had called her a simple Westrosi whore.
This had to stop.
And now.
If only to prove to herself that she wasn't what they said she was. She had to talk to Billy...had to make sense of this all with him or not at all. No tears Dany, she told herself. You are the blood of the dragon and the dragon knows no fear.
But she was terrified. Legitimately terrified of what this all meant.
This was her fault, she thought after she had finished and looked upon her sleeping mare. It was her fault that Drogo had died and her fault still now that Galahad had disappeared. She pulled her duster closed tightly around her swollen frame, hoping against hope that she'd be able to forgive herself for what she'd done. Mistakes had been made. She was following down the same path Cersei had made, winning people over with her body instead of her mind as she ought to have been doing. She had to correct them. She glanced back over at the house to where she believed Billy was still sleeping. Had she made a mistake with him as well? No. No, in her heart of hearts she knew he had not. He'd be noble and true as best as he could. The child needed a father and the only choice she had left was Billy.
Certainly she couldn't talk to Ned about all of this, or even Lyanna, much as she wanted to. She'd only given Lyanna bits and pieces of information. Billy was here to look after her, nothing more. That meant that more and more would change between them.
Already she was getting attached.
Galahad was gone.
There was no use in mourning him, but still Dany couldn't keep the few scant tears that tracked hot paths down her face from falling. Gods how she'd proven Viserys right, and Cersei and everyone else in Quarth and Astapor that had called her a simple Westrosi whore.
This had to stop.
And now.
If only to prove to herself that she wasn't what they said she was. She had to talk to Billy...had to make sense of this all with him or not at all. No tears Dany, she told herself. You are the blood of the dragon and the dragon knows no fear.
But she was terrified. Legitimately terrified of what this all meant.