(no subject)
im lost im confused im so scared i have no idea where my life is headed im not really happy here but i know i cant leave cuz people need me here everyday i just cry and ask the Lord to take me cuz im really not happy and never really been happy and i always question why he keeps me cuz my whole life ive done nothing but fuck up.the week before my mom died i really started opening up to her and i was feeling better cuz i had someone to talk to but then she died and now im afraid to open up to anyone.after my mom died i havent really been able to sleep or anything you.i remeber the day she died i had no one so that was the first time ive ever really felt alone so i started drinking more to try to forget here but i hasnt worked it just makes it worst.but all im really trying to say is how come no one has really ever been there for me you know ive been there for all of my friends and they all make it seem like im some great guy but when i needed a friend the most no one was there.so it makes me wonder if there is such a thing as a friend