a lily by any other name
On the drive home from work yesterday, I heard a segment on NPR discussing the use of an alias, in particular, Starbucks. The piece pointed out that for many folks with ethnic names, the use of “Coffee Names” has become commonplace.
INTERVIEWER: And then you thought up that lots of people use coffee names.
SUBJECT: Yeah. I just assumed I was the only one, but - I was at Starbucks maybe a month ago and I noticed that all the coffee drinks on the barista table, they definitely had all these American names like Tom and Sue and Joe, and I noticed the people that were waiting for the drinks didn't really - I mean, maybe this is totally racial profiling. But they came across as not Toms or Sues or Joes. And at one point, this woman picked up a coffee and she said, oh, this is just my coffee name to her girlfriend and it shook me up. I was like, oh, my God, I'm not the only one. Wow.
Yet, growing up in my immediate family-this sort of thing had been going on for YEARS. Not due to the lack of an “American-sounding” name, but simply for ease.
My father, Robert, was the one to begin this trick. I was in middle school, I think, when I noticed that every time he was asked to give a name, at a restaurant perhaps, he gave my mother’s name, Chris. Even if she was not with us. I asked him about it.
“Well,” he explained, “Every time that I give my own name, I’m asked ‘How do you spell that?’”
Really?@! I thought. There is one way, and as far as I know, ONLY one way to spell Robert. But I can think of numerous ways to spell Chris. These hosts and hostesses were not asking how to spell Chris?! So, I started paying attention. Sure enough-each time that my father would give name, always Chris, the restaurant host/ess would smile and jot down the name. Often, spelling it exactly right, ironically-but that does not really matter. So, at least on this point my father was right-when he gave the name Chris, no one asked how to spell it.
But what about that first part, did people really ask him how to spell Robert? I asked him to give his own name at a restaurant to see for myself what would happen. Sure enough, he was asked several times to repeat his name, and then, “How do you spell that?” Wow.
As I got older, and found myself in that position of having to give one’s name to a host/ess, I began to notice that my own solicited questions, too. “Is that with an I or a Y?” being the most common. Who cares?!, right? But I soon learned that giving my own name caused too many delays and so soon, I found my own Restaurant/Coffee name. I have two, actually.
My go-to name is Flo. Yep, Flo. And yes, I’ve had idiot baristas and host/esses spell it “flow.” Yet, no one has ever asked, “how is that spelled?” Quick, and easy… most of the time. If I see a furrowed brow, or look of confusion, I immediately offer my second Coffee Name. Elvis.
I’ve been doing this for years. And not because my name was not American enough.
***edited to add this additional bonus of weird Coffee Names:
A few times, when with my husband at a restaurant when he's given his name, Brian, he'll be asked for his last initial. Usually because there is already a half-dozen Brians on the list.
I've also witnessed the awkwardness that sometimes occurs when host/esses fail to ask for that last initial and call out a common name. Two or more groups jostling the hostess stand, trying to convince the poor host/ess that no, really, THEY are the right party.
Never have I had that problem with either name. To this day, I've not had to fight off another Elvis for my java. Nor have I seen another group for "Flo" approach the hostess stand. Works like a charm.
INTERVIEWER: And then you thought up that lots of people use coffee names.
SUBJECT: Yeah. I just assumed I was the only one, but - I was at Starbucks maybe a month ago and I noticed that all the coffee drinks on the barista table, they definitely had all these American names like Tom and Sue and Joe, and I noticed the people that were waiting for the drinks didn't really - I mean, maybe this is totally racial profiling. But they came across as not Toms or Sues or Joes. And at one point, this woman picked up a coffee and she said, oh, this is just my coffee name to her girlfriend and it shook me up. I was like, oh, my God, I'm not the only one. Wow.
Yet, growing up in my immediate family-this sort of thing had been going on for YEARS. Not due to the lack of an “American-sounding” name, but simply for ease.
My father, Robert, was the one to begin this trick. I was in middle school, I think, when I noticed that every time he was asked to give a name, at a restaurant perhaps, he gave my mother’s name, Chris. Even if she was not with us. I asked him about it.
“Well,” he explained, “Every time that I give my own name, I’m asked ‘How do you spell that?’”
Really?@! I thought. There is one way, and as far as I know, ONLY one way to spell Robert. But I can think of numerous ways to spell Chris. These hosts and hostesses were not asking how to spell Chris?! So, I started paying attention. Sure enough-each time that my father would give name, always Chris, the restaurant host/ess would smile and jot down the name. Often, spelling it exactly right, ironically-but that does not really matter. So, at least on this point my father was right-when he gave the name Chris, no one asked how to spell it.
But what about that first part, did people really ask him how to spell Robert? I asked him to give his own name at a restaurant to see for myself what would happen. Sure enough, he was asked several times to repeat his name, and then, “How do you spell that?” Wow.
As I got older, and found myself in that position of having to give one’s name to a host/ess, I began to notice that my own solicited questions, too. “Is that with an I or a Y?” being the most common. Who cares?!, right? But I soon learned that giving my own name caused too many delays and so soon, I found my own Restaurant/Coffee name. I have two, actually.
My go-to name is Flo. Yep, Flo. And yes, I’ve had idiot baristas and host/esses spell it “flow.” Yet, no one has ever asked, “how is that spelled?” Quick, and easy… most of the time. If I see a furrowed brow, or look of confusion, I immediately offer my second Coffee Name. Elvis.
I’ve been doing this for years. And not because my name was not American enough.
***edited to add this additional bonus of weird Coffee Names:
A few times, when with my husband at a restaurant when he's given his name, Brian, he'll be asked for his last initial. Usually because there is already a half-dozen Brians on the list.
I've also witnessed the awkwardness that sometimes occurs when host/esses fail to ask for that last initial and call out a common name. Two or more groups jostling the hostess stand, trying to convince the poor host/ess that no, really, THEY are the right party.
Never have I had that problem with either name. To this day, I've not had to fight off another Elvis for my java. Nor have I seen another group for "Flo" approach the hostess stand. Works like a charm.