(Self)-Protection
In the past I’ve felt it was my job to protect everyone from everything. I spent a lot of time protecting people from things other people said, protecting people from their own insecurities or lack of desire to do something, or just in general padding and cushioning everything so as to avoid any discomfort. The problem is I wasn’t worried about other people’s discomfort. I wasn’t protecting them to help them. I was protecting them so I wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of them failing or being hurt. I wanted less work in the short-run so I made things more difficult in the long-run all the while pretending it was what God would want. As if Jesus did so much protecting people from themselves, which is just a laughable concept.
To give an example, when someone would come to me and tell me that someone liked them that they didn’t like in return, I would implore them to have as little to do with the person as possible. I didn’t want the other person to become attached and then get hurt. I didn’t want to clean up that broken heart mess. Having gone through it myself, I realize how ridiculously complicated that particular one is. It’s frustrating and slow when it’s you. When it’s someone else you want to take them out back and Old Yeller them. Was that too harsh?
Currently I’m dealing with a lot of people not being super involved in a group I’m in. Normally I would resist telling anyone in leadership for fear of looking like a tattle-tale. I’m beginning to realize that by bringing certain things to leadership’s attention, in a proper manner, trying to help leadership see who’s forwarding the vision of the group and who’s actually keeping that vision from moving forward, I’m helping leadership get a grip on what’s going on. I also don’t go to leadership unless I’ve either already addressed the issue with the person in question, their direct supervisor, or if I didn’t feel it was my place to address it directly.
Another thing is a person in my life who is dealing with a lot of things right now and doesn’t really have an appropriate outlet for stress and anxiety. This is, of course, an extraordinarily difficult situation because the wrong outlet can be so detrimental to life. This person knows that because they’ve seen it first hand, but sometimes that’s the issue. When what you’ve seen first hand is destruction of mass proportion and you don’t want to go through the work of something else, that’s what you turn to. It’s the path of least resistance.
Normally I would babysit this person. Make sure they’re entirely taken care of and they don’t have to worry about anything. This time all I did was make sure the environment is safe and then leave it as is. I’m not babysitting because I have a packed day today. Granted I was woken up by them twice in the very early hours of the morning and the second time I was unable to go back to sleep. That’s when I made sure anything that needed to be taken care of from that person was taken care of and then began to take care of my own chores for the day.
It’s just frustrating because I want to help, but I can’t until this person’s ready to be helped. It’s something I’ve slowly been learning over the last few years, but that doesn’t make it less painful. Sometimes I wonder how God manages to deal with us, because I’m pretty sure I’d go crazy in his same position. It’s why he’s so amazing though.
To give an example, when someone would come to me and tell me that someone liked them that they didn’t like in return, I would implore them to have as little to do with the person as possible. I didn’t want the other person to become attached and then get hurt. I didn’t want to clean up that broken heart mess. Having gone through it myself, I realize how ridiculously complicated that particular one is. It’s frustrating and slow when it’s you. When it’s someone else you want to take them out back and Old Yeller them. Was that too harsh?
Currently I’m dealing with a lot of people not being super involved in a group I’m in. Normally I would resist telling anyone in leadership for fear of looking like a tattle-tale. I’m beginning to realize that by bringing certain things to leadership’s attention, in a proper manner, trying to help leadership see who’s forwarding the vision of the group and who’s actually keeping that vision from moving forward, I’m helping leadership get a grip on what’s going on. I also don’t go to leadership unless I’ve either already addressed the issue with the person in question, their direct supervisor, or if I didn’t feel it was my place to address it directly.
Another thing is a person in my life who is dealing with a lot of things right now and doesn’t really have an appropriate outlet for stress and anxiety. This is, of course, an extraordinarily difficult situation because the wrong outlet can be so detrimental to life. This person knows that because they’ve seen it first hand, but sometimes that’s the issue. When what you’ve seen first hand is destruction of mass proportion and you don’t want to go through the work of something else, that’s what you turn to. It’s the path of least resistance.
Normally I would babysit this person. Make sure they’re entirely taken care of and they don’t have to worry about anything. This time all I did was make sure the environment is safe and then leave it as is. I’m not babysitting because I have a packed day today. Granted I was woken up by them twice in the very early hours of the morning and the second time I was unable to go back to sleep. That’s when I made sure anything that needed to be taken care of from that person was taken care of and then began to take care of my own chores for the day.
It’s just frustrating because I want to help, but I can’t until this person’s ready to be helped. It’s something I’ve slowly been learning over the last few years, but that doesn’t make it less painful. Sometimes I wonder how God manages to deal with us, because I’m pretty sure I’d go crazy in his same position. It’s why he’s so amazing though.