Tips for setting up a christmas tree!
OKAY. SO. you want a real christmas tree? U gotta know what ur doing, they need to be tamed, like a wild british macaw. (10 exclusive tips from me)
1- Make sure the tree has good, even branch coverage.
2- A green tree is a healthy tree- make sure theres no pine needles falling already.
3- Ask the dude on xmas tree if the pine needles have hinge or ball sockets! Sounds crazy but... Xmas trees with needles that have ball sockets are the reason they drop all over, the warmth of your house will dry the tree out, making the ball-sockets shrink and therefore the needles fall to the floor, stinging your feet...¬_¬
4-When youve bought a tree, make sure you cut around one inch of the base of the tree, and stand it in water for around 5 days. The dude in the shop will tell you 48 hours, but hes lying.
5- Make sure ur tree doesnt have birds messing around in it.(birds in the tree having a martini party WoooOO!)
6- Make sure the tree fits in ur car AND in ur house. A certain someone i knew use to buy an 8 foot tree and lop the entire top off to fit it snugly in their living room, why, i dont know, but i suppose it then looked more like a bush than a tree.
7- Make sure its a xmas tree and not a copper beach.
8- Make sure the tree is real.
9- Um... Did i mention to make sure the christmas tree isnt gay? Otherwise hell steal ur husbands.
10- ... Make sure its not lesbian, other wise it will steal your grandmothers.
EH! EH! U SEE, I KNOW MY CHRISTMAS TREES!
1- Make sure the tree has good, even branch coverage.
2- A green tree is a healthy tree- make sure theres no pine needles falling already.
3- Ask the dude on xmas tree if the pine needles have hinge or ball sockets! Sounds crazy but... Xmas trees with needles that have ball sockets are the reason they drop all over, the warmth of your house will dry the tree out, making the ball-sockets shrink and therefore the needles fall to the floor, stinging your feet...¬_¬
4-When youve bought a tree, make sure you cut around one inch of the base of the tree, and stand it in water for around 5 days. The dude in the shop will tell you 48 hours, but hes lying.
5- Make sure ur tree doesnt have birds messing around in it.(birds in the tree having a martini party WoooOO!)
6- Make sure the tree fits in ur car AND in ur house. A certain someone i knew use to buy an 8 foot tree and lop the entire top off to fit it snugly in their living room, why, i dont know, but i suppose it then looked more like a bush than a tree.
7- Make sure its a xmas tree and not a copper beach.
8- Make sure the tree is real.
9- Um... Did i mention to make sure the christmas tree isnt gay? Otherwise hell steal ur husbands.
10- ... Make sure its not lesbian, other wise it will steal your grandmothers.
EH! EH! U SEE, I KNOW MY CHRISTMAS TREES!