im jaded now- whatever that means...

[woah_its_meljo]

okay- sooo..

all this time with no word from him has made me kinda understand everything a little more.
i thought i knew what he wanted.
now i know he really just wants me to get the fuck out of his life. i dont blame him.
its just wierd how differently we feel about all this. and what it all meant to us.
i try to look at everything from a different angle and its all so incredibly fucked up and confusing. its exactly what i told myself i would never go through.
but the only thing i regret is losing myself in him. ill neverregret how much fun i had. and i loved how happy he made me.
but i went about it the wrong way.
maybe ive learned and next time maybe ill remember all of this. maybe ill be able to fix the mistakes i made with him through others.
but i dont even want there to be a next time. its too hard. so i guess this is goodbye..