tonights the night the world begins again
Today I hung out with Alex all day.
We went to his house and hung around for a while.
Then we went out to eat at BW3's.
And then we went to KB Toys and bought a Nano Baby!!
Hah yea, we're retarded. It was fun though.
Then we went to my house and played LIFE, but we kept cheating and making up our own rules and we ended up with 17 children and all the money. Go figure, right?
We got bored, and had nothing to do. We finally went to his house and layed on the backporch under blankies to look at the stars.
Then.. I dunno, I started to feel weird.I started to feel how small I am compared to the universe, how absolete I was to everyone and everything that didn't know I even existed. I felt so open and vulnerable and scared. And then I thought about the moon, and how I wish that no one ever landed on it, because I think I'd feel safe if I thought the moon was God. A God. Something more than the collection of atoms that it really is. It's easier to believe something tangible. Thinking about it made me feel very lonely, even though I was wrapped in a blanket with the boy I love more than I've ever loved anyone. It was incredible.
And then (and this is the thought that really shook me up), I thought about the earth, and how it keeps spinning, regardless of what goes on on it. How people die everyday for no reason, with no warning, and people break up, and hearts break, and people feel this scared all the time, and there are wars and fighting and crime and the world keeps turning. I was laying on my back, facing west, and I realized that the direction the world was turning in left me turning head first, backward. I was falling backward. And this was the phrase that kept repeating in my head. Everyone is always just falling backward. People are dying and the world doesn't care at all, it just keeps throwing us backward.
And I feel so small sometimes.
It kinda rocked my world.
Then we drank hot cocoa and he took me home.
Good day, minus the whole life-altering-epiphany thing.
We went to his house and hung around for a while.
Then we went out to eat at BW3's.
And then we went to KB Toys and bought a Nano Baby!!
Hah yea, we're retarded. It was fun though.
Then we went to my house and played LIFE, but we kept cheating and making up our own rules and we ended up with 17 children and all the money. Go figure, right?
We got bored, and had nothing to do. We finally went to his house and layed on the backporch under blankies to look at the stars.
Then.. I dunno, I started to feel weird.I started to feel how small I am compared to the universe, how absolete I was to everyone and everything that didn't know I even existed. I felt so open and vulnerable and scared. And then I thought about the moon, and how I wish that no one ever landed on it, because I think I'd feel safe if I thought the moon was God. A God. Something more than the collection of atoms that it really is. It's easier to believe something tangible. Thinking about it made me feel very lonely, even though I was wrapped in a blanket with the boy I love more than I've ever loved anyone. It was incredible.
And then (and this is the thought that really shook me up), I thought about the earth, and how it keeps spinning, regardless of what goes on on it. How people die everyday for no reason, with no warning, and people break up, and hearts break, and people feel this scared all the time, and there are wars and fighting and crime and the world keeps turning. I was laying on my back, facing west, and I realized that the direction the world was turning in left me turning head first, backward. I was falling backward. And this was the phrase that kept repeating in my head. Everyone is always just falling backward. People are dying and the world doesn't care at all, it just keeps throwing us backward.
And I feel so small sometimes.
It kinda rocked my world.
Then we drank hot cocoa and he took me home.
Good day, minus the whole life-altering-epiphany thing.