(no subject)
so i think i ave a small bit of time to myself now.... sooo much going on round here lately. my s&b are here for a few months. have them working with me at the station and s living with us. we are clearing out alot of stuff in the tuna can to have a yard sale. today as we were going through some stuff i just started crying and had to leave. i almost feel as if i am going through a dead persons stuff.....??
went to a funeral last thursday and was greatly impressed- over the door of the church where it was held was a banner saying- marriage is for everyone. gotta love those unitarians.
i know- i am skipping around madly but- this is how thoughts run out of my brain..... scary huh?
so in preparation of camping out on a rock in the middle of a huge ocean i have been looking at some camping supplies..... seems propane is a pretty cool alt to electricity. had no idea that i could run a house on it! i soooo look forward to spending tiime with the sea turtles and madame pele. i remember as a kid doing all kinds of reading learning to speak hawaiian and whatnot. i really do feel the pull of belonging there,and have always enjoyed watching the fire dancers. and how can you not love an island boy! once the house is built i will still keep a small outside "shelter" for me/. a hammock and a lean-to are all i really need there, i want to melt into the lava and be part of that place!
the biggest change in all of this is- b will not be going with me. at first he was excited to go but then his family got together and dangled a carrot in the form of a job with his brother in law with a possibility of making a large chunk of money in the coming years. so he bit the bait and is going to stay here. i guess it is really for the best as he is not the "free spirit , hippy wanna be" that he thought he was after all. his conservtive upbringing has really come out in him lately...... sounds kinda like my ex.... man can i pick em or what? so his family will be happy that he is no longer "living in sin" and my family will be happy that i no longer have an alcoholic stone around my neck. its not so easy letting him go like this but i am ok with it actually. every now and again i get all down about it but then i think about the possibilities coming and am ok.
speaking of b- he just came home so i am out of here.dont want him to read this stuff.
went to a funeral last thursday and was greatly impressed- over the door of the church where it was held was a banner saying- marriage is for everyone. gotta love those unitarians.
i know- i am skipping around madly but- this is how thoughts run out of my brain..... scary huh?
so in preparation of camping out on a rock in the middle of a huge ocean i have been looking at some camping supplies..... seems propane is a pretty cool alt to electricity. had no idea that i could run a house on it! i soooo look forward to spending tiime with the sea turtles and madame pele. i remember as a kid doing all kinds of reading learning to speak hawaiian and whatnot. i really do feel the pull of belonging there,and have always enjoyed watching the fire dancers. and how can you not love an island boy! once the house is built i will still keep a small outside "shelter" for me/. a hammock and a lean-to are all i really need there, i want to melt into the lava and be part of that place!
the biggest change in all of this is- b will not be going with me. at first he was excited to go but then his family got together and dangled a carrot in the form of a job with his brother in law with a possibility of making a large chunk of money in the coming years. so he bit the bait and is going to stay here. i guess it is really for the best as he is not the "free spirit , hippy wanna be" that he thought he was after all. his conservtive upbringing has really come out in him lately...... sounds kinda like my ex.... man can i pick em or what? so his family will be happy that he is no longer "living in sin" and my family will be happy that i no longer have an alcoholic stone around my neck. its not so easy letting him go like this but i am ok with it actually. every now and again i get all down about it but then i think about the possibilities coming and am ok.
speaking of b- he just came home so i am out of here.dont want him to read this stuff.