A typical day in this piece of shit city
Sometimes I swear Kalamazoo is the bane of my existence... Today, I got stuck at the bus stop downtown for an hour. the bus I was waiting for broke down at the other end of the route, so they send a new bus out there from downtown and (instead of picking us up on the way) it went straight out... there were about 7 or 8 of us waiting for this bus all standing around in the freezing cold for an hour like Schmucks. we had called the metro transit line and they told us they were send a new bus striaght to us... yeah, 'cuz that really was the case!
After all this mess, I almost get run over by 3 bitches speeding around out of the BK drive-thru. they had to have been going at me at 30 mph (did anyone order a hit on my life that I should know about?) then have the nerve to shout out the window that they were NOT going to run me over. maybe word has gotten out that I'm Jewish and they sent some crazy locals after me.
Other Kalamazoo things that are the bane of my existance include but are not limited by:
Icy sidewalks everywhere
having to walk to school uphill in the snow & ice both ways
Class projects trying to sneak up on me
people at the parties I throw shouting incredibly loud during arguments and/or being out of conrol drunk commiting in the trash can,
the Oberon effect (definition: I enter a room, Obie pees herself. If Obie enters a room and I'm there, Obie pees herself. that dog is cute as hell but Blaise & Gina need to goddamn pottytrain it already. I don't have enough Febreeze to drown out all the dog-piss stain on this cheap rug. I need to save my Febreeze for important things like saving money on laundry)
The library classroom meeting that almost all of my classes have. (yes! I know how to use the cpu system now if you're going to have a blowoff period, just say it doesn't count against my attendance. I've been through the same EXACT presentation by the same lady at least 10 times by now, my 3rd year),
...despite their best efforts though, Kalamazoo will not be the end of me! no sir. Pesci will come back with the vengeance of the pistons playing at home coming off a bullshit road loss helped by the refs. that's right. I'll have the last laugh.
I love the episode of Seinfeld where the scenes go backwards, Kramer is wished death upon by FDR (Franklin Delano Rodriquez), Elaine gets the wedding invitation to India, and George wears the Timberlands for the entire time so Nina thinks he's that tall. I AM GEORGE!! It's more appearant everyday. There are multiple people who will claim to be the Jerry to my Costanza, but nobody else is anywhere near as George. I'll say this much, Jerry hates birthdays.
Okay, 2 other quick things for this random post... 1)This whole Iran President thing is such a goddamn joke. this is the craziest world leader with such a powerful army since Adolf himself. someone needs to slap this guy upside the head or hit him on the nose repeatedly with a newspaper and say "not everything in the world is Israel's fault" over and over. This lunatic is running a contest in the Iranian newspaper of who can make the best political cartoon to make fun of the holocaust (which by the way, he denies happened in the first pick, so which is it? you can't have your cake & eat it too). you're mad at a Danish Newspaper cartoonist... Jews & Israel have NOTHING to do with this, yet you insist on blaiming us anyway. stop being so goddamned paranoid and run your own country. represent your people instead of making them live in shit conditions which embraces hate and thus won't be good for anyone in the region. and finally 2) German remains quite an intriguing class for me. I have such a unique perspective on the whole thing. I've always wanted to understand another language but Hebrew & Spanish just both never worked for me.
Hmmm... that turned into a lengthy/ranty post.