Comprehensive sex ed, Regency style
The writer of my latest is an insufferable twat and I'd like to stab her fingers with my copyediting pencil. But I won't. Because this is a single title and it's going to earn me a lot of money, unless of course I blind myself before page FOUR HUNDRED AND TEN with said pencil.
(Seriously, it is so, so long it makes me want to scream.)
So this one's a historical. Unlike the last historical I did (which I swear I wrote a blog post about but can't find, which is really weird), the author is relatively good at avoiding linguistic anachronisms. What she's not good at is avoiding homonym confusion, writing concisely, creating interesting characters, or not formatting her book like a pretentious Ren Faire snooze. Instead of "Chapter One" and "Chapter Two" she is insisting on "Scandal One," etc. I guess I should be glad it's not "Scandale." (And come on. That is not her real name. That is the name of a Victorian stripper.) So far, Scandale Two has been entirely epistolary, which is a pain in the ass because of all the formatting, the italic small caps, the subheads, blah blah. I wouldn't be surprised if the typesetter quits in frustration.
Also? There's this. Please stop eating or drinking now. (Remington is in Venice. Victoria is in England. They are in lurve. And writing letters. They are also 19 and 17.)
My darling Victoria,
When I mentioned my bed [in his last letter], I was referring to the art of love. It involves no pretenses and consists of breath, passion and pleasure that in time will lead to the creation of precious life within your womb. There is far, far more than this, I assure you, but I am unwilling to scorch the tip of my quill or this parchment. Simply know that I am looking forward to our wedding night and think about it more often than a gentleman should. As a result of this restlessness within me, I have been distracting myself in many new ways.
Yes. Also, she has decided to italicize thirty straight pages. Because that won't get a little rough on the eyes or anything. Ugh. Did I mention this manuscript is four hundred and ten pages long, printed on both sides of the paper?!
(Seriously, it is so, so long it makes me want to scream.)
So this one's a historical. Unlike the last historical I did (which I swear I wrote a blog post about but can't find, which is really weird), the author is relatively good at avoiding linguistic anachronisms. What she's not good at is avoiding homonym confusion, writing concisely, creating interesting characters, or not formatting her book like a pretentious Ren Faire snooze. Instead of "Chapter One" and "Chapter Two" she is insisting on "Scandal One," etc. I guess I should be glad it's not "Scandale." (And come on. That is not her real name. That is the name of a Victorian stripper.) So far, Scandale Two has been entirely epistolary, which is a pain in the ass because of all the formatting, the italic small caps, the subheads, blah blah. I wouldn't be surprised if the typesetter quits in frustration.
Also? There's this. Please stop eating or drinking now. (Remington is in Venice. Victoria is in England. They are in lurve. And writing letters. They are also 19 and 17.)
My darling Victoria,
When I mentioned my bed [in his last letter], I was referring to the art of love. It involves no pretenses and consists of breath, passion and pleasure that in time will lead to the creation of precious life within your womb. There is far, far more than this, I assure you, but I am unwilling to scorch the tip of my quill or this parchment. Simply know that I am looking forward to our wedding night and think about it more often than a gentleman should. As a result of this restlessness within me, I have been distracting myself in many new ways.
Yes. Also, she has decided to italicize thirty straight pages. Because that won't get a little rough on the eyes or anything. Ugh. Did I mention this manuscript is four hundred and ten pages long, printed on both sides of the paper?!