Not sure this is right
As I'm sitting here, it's 1:18 am and I'm bored. Wow, how original :).
Anyways, I've begun the search for an apartment in LA. I'm going to end up paying AT LEAST $1000 a month for rent and that doesn't even include utilities. Goddammit, I already hate LA.
I was looking over the work I'd have to do at UCLA, and I can do it....well....pretty easily (unless I have something really bad happen to me, I should be able to pass all my qualifying exams in my first quarter there, which would put me two years ahead). The problem is that, despite the fact that UCLA's math department is good.....well, I just feel I deserved to end up somewhere better. I honestly don't know how I didn't, really. I mean, the whole purpose of the admissions process is to determine whether or not candidates show promise in doing academic work (i.e. productive research). I don't know how I haven't done that (I've got one paper that's been accepted by the Journal of Theoretical Probability, and I'm already working on other things). My grades were among the best in the math department at Brown. I've taken four graduate classes in math, receiving A's in three of them. I think I've shown that I can handle academic work, both as a student and as a future researcher.
I think my irritation at this whole things reached it's climax earlier today, when I saw students from Brown who had studied math and applied math going to the exact schools I had wanted to go to (Princeton, Harvard) and the sick thing is that I knew these kids work (hell, I graded these students' work), and to see them getting into these schools is really insulting to me. I mean congrats to them because I'm sure (or at least I hope) they'll do well. But so would I, and my issue is I'd do BETTER than they would. I don't care who's at UCLA....I'd much rather my Masters/Ph.D. say "Princeton" or "Harvard" than "UCLA."
All this has led me to consider the possibility of studying my ass off for the GRE subject test again (the only possible weakness in my application, though I didn't really feel it was that far off the pace) and then reapplying to Princeton and Harvard this coming year. If either takes me, I withdraw from UCLA and make the change, and if they don't take me then I stay at UCLA. But I think I'm a much stronger candidate now than I was a year ago, with a lot more exposure to very high level mathematics, and I think I might be able to crack through one of them. It's worth a try I think.
This whole concept gets me thinking of an argument (or discussion or whatever) that I had with Victoria, and I had said that I was sure I was qualified to go to either Harvard or Princeton as an undergrad and I felt I was snubbed because of where I was coming from. She was quick to defend the system ("How do you know that those who were admitted were not the most qualified?") and it just got me thinking.....Victoria, along with several other people I've gotten to know over the last year, were admitted to Brown as freshmen and have performed terribly here (passing roughly half their classes, etc.). Emily, my girlfriend, actually came as a transfer in her sophomore year and she just graduated PBK and Magna Cum Laude. She definitely has cause to complain about the "qualified candidates." But it got me thinking....there's no way that neither Harvard nor Princeton has students like that....and there's no way that people weren't aware of these problems beforehand for at least some of these students (if you're a neurotic student that stresses over the number of words in each line of text....someone notices it). I, on the other hand, performed very well at Brown. There's no way that my performance would drop off so badly changing from Brown to Harvard that I would be LESS qualified than the students like that. That makes me angry, because I worked my ass off for those schools too, and to be snubbed like that.....
This has been haunting me for some time, and I think I really could make it work if I tried one more time. If it still fails it wasn't meant to be, but I really think I'm exactly the kind of student that should be getting into these programs....not watching the students I graded go into them.
The whole thing leaves a sour taste in my mouth....
Anyways, I've begun the search for an apartment in LA. I'm going to end up paying AT LEAST $1000 a month for rent and that doesn't even include utilities. Goddammit, I already hate LA.
I was looking over the work I'd have to do at UCLA, and I can do it....well....pretty easily (unless I have something really bad happen to me, I should be able to pass all my qualifying exams in my first quarter there, which would put me two years ahead). The problem is that, despite the fact that UCLA's math department is good.....well, I just feel I deserved to end up somewhere better. I honestly don't know how I didn't, really. I mean, the whole purpose of the admissions process is to determine whether or not candidates show promise in doing academic work (i.e. productive research). I don't know how I haven't done that (I've got one paper that's been accepted by the Journal of Theoretical Probability, and I'm already working on other things). My grades were among the best in the math department at Brown. I've taken four graduate classes in math, receiving A's in three of them. I think I've shown that I can handle academic work, both as a student and as a future researcher.
I think my irritation at this whole things reached it's climax earlier today, when I saw students from Brown who had studied math and applied math going to the exact schools I had wanted to go to (Princeton, Harvard) and the sick thing is that I knew these kids work (hell, I graded these students' work), and to see them getting into these schools is really insulting to me. I mean congrats to them because I'm sure (or at least I hope) they'll do well. But so would I, and my issue is I'd do BETTER than they would. I don't care who's at UCLA....I'd much rather my Masters/Ph.D. say "Princeton" or "Harvard" than "UCLA."
All this has led me to consider the possibility of studying my ass off for the GRE subject test again (the only possible weakness in my application, though I didn't really feel it was that far off the pace) and then reapplying to Princeton and Harvard this coming year. If either takes me, I withdraw from UCLA and make the change, and if they don't take me then I stay at UCLA. But I think I'm a much stronger candidate now than I was a year ago, with a lot more exposure to very high level mathematics, and I think I might be able to crack through one of them. It's worth a try I think.
This whole concept gets me thinking of an argument (or discussion or whatever) that I had with Victoria, and I had said that I was sure I was qualified to go to either Harvard or Princeton as an undergrad and I felt I was snubbed because of where I was coming from. She was quick to defend the system ("How do you know that those who were admitted were not the most qualified?") and it just got me thinking.....Victoria, along with several other people I've gotten to know over the last year, were admitted to Brown as freshmen and have performed terribly here (passing roughly half their classes, etc.). Emily, my girlfriend, actually came as a transfer in her sophomore year and she just graduated PBK and Magna Cum Laude. She definitely has cause to complain about the "qualified candidates." But it got me thinking....there's no way that neither Harvard nor Princeton has students like that....and there's no way that people weren't aware of these problems beforehand for at least some of these students (if you're a neurotic student that stresses over the number of words in each line of text....someone notices it). I, on the other hand, performed very well at Brown. There's no way that my performance would drop off so badly changing from Brown to Harvard that I would be LESS qualified than the students like that. That makes me angry, because I worked my ass off for those schools too, and to be snubbed like that.....
This has been haunting me for some time, and I think I really could make it work if I tried one more time. If it still fails it wasn't meant to be, but I really think I'm exactly the kind of student that should be getting into these programs....not watching the students I graded go into them.
The whole thing leaves a sour taste in my mouth....