(no subject)
God damm it I made it though Pennsic, it was mind numbbingly hard both emotional and physical and I am just now getting out of it. I have been thinking and saying "Im sane, im fairly Healthy, we know what is coming for him, I have stabilaty, things may not be ideal but I can cope" ive said it out loud
I shouldnt.
I didnt call my dad for a few days He has had belly pain, He in no way tried to make me feel guilty but I do. My dad hasnt had medical care for most of 50 years. and little for the 23 before that. He is healthy and if he goes it will be hard if he gets cancer we have no way of knowing till its far past too late. I know he is probably fine but its the dam future that bothers me.
I told him only half jokingly that if he gets sick rather than deal with doctors I will push im in front of the subway.
Bah