Adam's song
ok i know this is a song about suicide.. but this being the end of my senior year im thinking about college and the future but also still dwelling in the past and i cant move on from that. i have recently rediscovered this song and i listened to it constantly today and the words started meaning something totally different than what they have meant to me in the years before... and this is my translation.
**********************************************************
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
you'll be sorry when I'm gone
dying alone doesnt necessarily mean death. its just being alone because everyone is moving on to colleges around the nation and you end up "alone." tracing cords means trying to go back to things you cant fix or cant erase from your past. we took our time with the smallest decisions but rushed through the most important ones and then we end up wishing we thought about it. 'im too depressed to go on'.. like me im realizing things alll too late. 'when im gone'.. you'll realize what you took for granted.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
this part reminds me of all those days in school that you didnt go because you didnt want to and when you did you never did any work. when we were 16 we didnt have much to worry about. we just had fun living. the world is full of so many things we could do and become but we realized it too late so we cant try to succeed at something we gave up on while we had it... when "the tour" meaning high school was over, we survived but left with nothing.. we just wanted to be out of school and get into the real world. getting home means those days you couldnt wait to get home just to be out of school to pass the time every single day until graduation.
I never thought I'd die alone
another six months I'll be unknown
give all my things to all my friends
you'll never step foot in my room again
you'll close it off, board it up
remember the time that I spilled the cup
of apple juice in the hall
please tell mom this is not her fault
6 months. you'll probably be forgotten about already. not by choice. just by chance. everything you gave to your friends. you'll still have but you'll just forget about them. for all those days you spent in your room with your friends... it wont happen anymore. you dont board it up.. you just happen to block it out in your mind. the apple juice to me is about all those stupid little things you did that cause the biggest scenes. what was the point? its no ones fault.. shit happens.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
I never conquered, rarely came
tomorrow holds such better days
days when I can still feel alive
when I can't wait to get outside
the world is wide, the time goes by
the tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
to pass the time in my room alone
********************************************
i was just in a very pondering mood today where everything seemed sad and depressing. and with recent events that have happened to me. ive just begun to realize that ive screwed myself over and i cant fix a damn thing. i just dont know what to do anymore. all of this could be complete bullshit to you but idk for me it just meant something. you could read it and be like how the fuck did u get that from that? and honestly i dont know. try being in my head and maybe you'd understand. i cant explain whats going on with me. its too hard. i just know ive screwed up.
**********************************************************
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
you'll be sorry when I'm gone
dying alone doesnt necessarily mean death. its just being alone because everyone is moving on to colleges around the nation and you end up "alone." tracing cords means trying to go back to things you cant fix or cant erase from your past. we took our time with the smallest decisions but rushed through the most important ones and then we end up wishing we thought about it. 'im too depressed to go on'.. like me im realizing things alll too late. 'when im gone'.. you'll realize what you took for granted.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
this part reminds me of all those days in school that you didnt go because you didnt want to and when you did you never did any work. when we were 16 we didnt have much to worry about. we just had fun living. the world is full of so many things we could do and become but we realized it too late so we cant try to succeed at something we gave up on while we had it... when "the tour" meaning high school was over, we survived but left with nothing.. we just wanted to be out of school and get into the real world. getting home means those days you couldnt wait to get home just to be out of school to pass the time every single day until graduation.
I never thought I'd die alone
another six months I'll be unknown
give all my things to all my friends
you'll never step foot in my room again
you'll close it off, board it up
remember the time that I spilled the cup
of apple juice in the hall
please tell mom this is not her fault
6 months. you'll probably be forgotten about already. not by choice. just by chance. everything you gave to your friends. you'll still have but you'll just forget about them. for all those days you spent in your room with your friends... it wont happen anymore. you dont board it up.. you just happen to block it out in your mind. the apple juice to me is about all those stupid little things you did that cause the biggest scenes. what was the point? its no ones fault.. shit happens.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
I never conquered, rarely came
tomorrow holds such better days
days when I can still feel alive
when I can't wait to get outside
the world is wide, the time goes by
the tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
to pass the time in my room alone
********************************************
i was just in a very pondering mood today where everything seemed sad and depressing. and with recent events that have happened to me. ive just begun to realize that ive screwed myself over and i cant fix a damn thing. i just dont know what to do anymore. all of this could be complete bullshit to you but idk for me it just meant something. you could read it and be like how the fuck did u get that from that? and honestly i dont know. try being in my head and maybe you'd understand. i cant explain whats going on with me. its too hard. i just know ive screwed up.